NWR - Housewarming E Question

Demetersrose

Good morning ladies! 

I've mostly been a lurker around here, but I have a question I've been mulling over and would love some advice. 

My FI and I just bought a house. We're in the process of fixing it up and we should be done around the end of the month. We really wanted to have a party to invite all of our friends and family to come see our new place. 

Our wedding is in October, my bridal shower is at the end of the month. I'm worried that if we call this party a housewarming, that implies gifts. If I saw housewarming, I would think gifts. We don't want gifts, I don't want to seem gift grabby.

Would having a casual invite (even an e-vite) that said something like "open house party" or "cocktails and hors d'oeuvres" but no mention of "housewarming" be more appropriate or should the whole party be scrapped? I don't want any side-eyes and I REALLY don't want people to think we want presents. Most of these people are actually my mum's friends who helped raise me and I just want to share our first house with them.

Any advice will be welcome! Thank you!

Mrs.B6302007

Yeah, I think gifts when I'm invited to a housewarming party, too.

If it were me, I think I would scrap it and focus on the wedding for now since you're already having several parties centered around you as a couple.  Maybe you could host a holiday party in December?

Beachy730

Do you have a nice backyard or patio or anything?  If so I would write something like "help us break in the patio with our first bbq" or something like that.  Don't call it a housewarming party, or really any type of party.  Just invite people over for a dinner or bbq or whatever else you want it to be.

Mrs.B6302007

Or maybe a Labor Day get together with no mention about the house at all?

jessicabessica

I think you'd be fine to say "cocktail party" or "BBQ" or whatever you were having.  Some people will always bring a hostess gift when they are invited to someone's home, so obviously graciously accept whatever you are given.  

HandBanana

Calling it a housewarming party implies gifts. I would scrap the idea, not call it a housewarming, or wait till after the wedding.

crash2729

We bought a house in February and our wedding was in April. We wanted to have a get together to just invite some of H's cousins and our friends over. MIL told us we couldn't because our wedding was too close and we shouldn't expect more presents. Even though we didn't expect or want presents, we didn't have any kind of get together and I kind of wish we had. 

I would just invite people over for a BBQ or something...I probably wouldn't call it an open house though. 

HockeyFan4

to me, a paper or evite usually equals gifts.  what if you just called people or sent an email and just said "Hey we are having people over on such and such date at this time.  We would love if you could join us"

J&K10910

Yeah, we had a casual BBQ in our house when we were all settled, and some people did still bring us small gifts (a potted plant or a bottle of wine) but most people didn't, and we were happy they didn't.  I agree--just host a BBQ or dinner party or whatever is you want to do without mentioning the word "housewarming" or anything about your new house, and you should be ok.

Demetersrose

Well we do have a half acre and a brand new grill I want to break in. These were all fabulous ideas. Thank you guys so much. I appreciate it a lot. My gut was telling me that housewarming=presents=too close to wedding stuff. But sometimes I just have indigestion. My gut is a liar! 

A BBQ would be great fun and definitely casual enough not to imply gifts. This particular circle has them all the time, so it's actually natural that we'd join in now that we have a place. And I'll call instead of invites, that was a great suggestion.

TheSlowskys

I would just call it a party, and I do agree a BBQ might be better because it is casual.

I've never been invited to a housewarming party, but if I was I would maybe just bring a bottle of wine, which is what I bring to pretty much any event.

I know you aren't suggesting it, but when people say a housewarming party implies gifts I shudder since its a party you are planning for yourself. If that is the case hten I do think they are tacky.  I saw someone on Registering and Gifts who had mentioned she registered for a housewarming party and I about died.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-housewarming-e-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a68402e5-2a22-462e-883e-76411431be6fPost:36cff69c-364e-4c83-88d6-7639e6915ccd">Re: NWR - Housewarming E Question</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Well we do have a half acre and a brand new grill I want to break in. </strong>These were all fabulous ideas. Thank you guys so much. I appreciate it a lot. My gut was telling me that housewarming=presents=too close to wedding stuff. But sometimes I just have indigestion. My gut is a liar!  A BBQ would be great fun and definitely casual enough not to imply gifts. This particular circle has them all the time, so it's actually natural that we'd join in now that we have a place. And I'll call instead of invites, that was a great suggestion.
Posted by Demetersrose[/QUOTE]
Maybe some yard games like horseshoes?

mandi921vh

I think with it being summer you could just call it a summer BBQ.

Demetersrose

Oooo I love the idea of yard games. That would actually be a lot of fun!

Thanks everyone! I feel much better about a not-house-related summer BBQ than a housewarming. That way people get to see the place but it's more about spending time with all our friends.

lahlah12bk

I totally understand this feeling. We bought our house in early spring, so we did a huge Kentucky derby party. It was a blast, everyone wore hats and we served mint juleps! Yes, some people, mostly close family, bought us things off of our registry, but most people brought a bottle of wine or just best wishes. Congratulations on your new place!