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Judell789

Deleted due to harassment.

lyndausvi

5 pm is dinner time.  You need to serve apps that would be considered  meal.  That generally means 12-17 pieces per person.   And no, I do not mean 12 carrots.

A lot of times that is not actually they cheaper option, so check around.

Avion22

It's okay to do an appetizer or dessert reception, but it should NOT be over a meal time unless there is enough food to be an actual meal (which is usually more expensive than just having an actual meal as appetizers are labor-intesive to make).    

Have you considered getting a local restaraunt to cater?  Mexican, Italian, Barbecue, or whatever?  Those are fairly inexpensive.  

AdeleDazeem

Yikes.  Your wedding falls during prime dinner time.  As much as your family may love you, they won't be happy if they are not fed.  I guarantee it.  A few apps and then a sugary cake does not constitute dinner.

I agree with looking around at non-traditional caterers (restaurants that do bulk things for cheaper) like Chinese, Mexican, or pastas. 

Judell789

Thanks everyone for your quick responses! We have actually already looked at all the restaurant and cheap catering options, but none of them work for us. Our appetizer is actually being made by my cousin as a wedding gift. We initally asked her to do a meal but she said she can only do an appetizer for that many people, so it is what is is. She is a chef so her food definitely will not disappont! If you really think it wont work then I will consider bringing in another food like cheese and crackers or something.

[Deleted User]

I agree with previous posters. Try looking into alternative kinds of caterers. I went to a wedding recently where they got big things of barbecue (beef, pork and sausage) and some cole slaw and some buns. I don't know how much they spent, but I know they were under an exceedingly tight budget. Everyone loved it. Not only was it cost effective, something like BBQ is VERY filling, so everyone was able to drink and dance the night away without any issues of feeling ill from lack of food (the bbq was also delicious).

Also, on a cake, do you have any friends who bake? Have them make you up a single round cake that you can decorate and make look all nice for the cutting. For the guests, get some big sheet cakes from Shop Rite/CostCo/Grocery store of choice and use that. It saves a LOT of money, and people won't mind not having a fancy dessert.

Judell789

Our venue is actually pretty fancy so I dont want to take away from that with cheap food. My cousin will be making a gourmet type food.

LDubHawksFan

Yeah, don't do this unless you know they will have like 15 pieces per person.  We went to a wedding where they were just doing appetizers during dinner time.  We waitted for all of the older folks to go through first and were chatting before we headed over to the buffet and there was nothing left.  I'm not kidding there were probably 10 of us standing around waiting while the catering staff went back to try to whip something up and came out with a tray of carrots.  Needless to say we were all pretty ticked that we didn't get much in the form of food, and we all got pretty drunk thereafter on empty stomachs!

Look into restaurants catering as PP have listed.  $11/person is doable!

AdeleDazeem

Your cousin is making one appetizer?  How many does that work out to per person?  What if someone doesn't like the one available bit of food or is allergic to it?

I swear, I'm not trying to be a pain, but one appetizer per person plus some cheese and crackers and a cupcake isn't going to go over well at dinner time.  I'd rather have some cheap food at a fancy restaurant venue than no food at all. 

Have you watched Four Weddings at all?  I've been home recently during the day and caught a few.  There was one where the girls got no food and actually ordered italian to the venue because they were so hungry.  People will do this. 

Part of being a good host is offering food, drink and entertainment.  That's your job as host.  Please, please find a way to offer more food even if that means "cheap" food in your "fancy" venue.

EDIT: And no, I don't mean cheese and crackers.  I mean some meat and vegetable.

AdeleDazeem

Also, not that it helps you now, but you should've determined your budget and how much money you needed to properly feed your guests before finalizing your guest list.  Every bride must make a choice: fancy venue/smaller guest list or less fancy venue/larger guest list.  You've mixed up the two and now have a problem.

It can be rectified, however.  You just need to let go of your vision so as not to sacrifice the enjoyment of your guests.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:96c2a455-6d13-4953-a572-133c21cb42e6">Re: Alternative meal for low budget wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Our venue is actually pretty fancy so I dont want to take away from that with cheap food. My cousin will be making a gourmet type food.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

Honestly, maybe you need to consider another venue then or doing an afternoon reception. I really don't mean to bash you. At all. It's just that I went to a wedding once where there wasn't enough food and it was honestly kind of miserable. Some of us could barely drink a single glass of wine because we hadn't eaten since the before the 3pm ceremony.  We all felt kind of dizzy and sick from being on our feet for like 4 hours dancing with no food in our bellies, and those who didn't feel that way or didn't abstain from the alcohol got wayyyy drunker than they wanted to. I know, personally, I do really badly when I don't eat on a regular schedule - my blood sugar has a nasty habit of dipping very drastically. My brother in law is even worse - he's a very large man and a vegan, and he'd probably have to end up leaving a reception like that to go get food or he'd be seriously ill.

Again, I mean, your call but I think it's ruder not to have food for people during a dinner time reception than it is to have the food maybe be a little more low brow than the venue. I just know from personal experience that it doesn't really go over well when people don't get to eat more than a nibble for dinner.

RebeccaB88

Is there any chance that you could switch the time of the reception to a non-meal time?  That way you could still offer your guests the appetizer and dessert, but no one will expect enough food to make up a meal.  As it stands now, you must serve a full meal, because your reception is at a mealtime.  Maybe have the ceremony at 1 or 2 in the afternoon, or at 8pm, and the reception immediately after?

Honestly, I think your tastes are more expensive than your budget will allow (and believe me, I understand that!)   I see you're thinking that at a fancy venue, people will be expecting fancy food, and you're right.  You've received several good suggestions for workable options, and have shot them all down.  So if you don't like any of your options, you're stuck.  You need to make a decision here - change the time, find more money, or keep things as they are and have upset and hungry guests.

CALEO

So it sounds like you have a limited budget but instead of planning accordingly and only iniviting the number of people you could feed you over invited?  Your venue is too "fancy" and you don't want "cheap" food there?

If I was invited to a fancy wedding and they gave me one appetizer, I would be pissed.  That is not a way to treat guests.

Have stds/invitations already gone out?

If not, rework your guestlist so that you can cut some people and feed everyone a meal.

In the alternative, change your wedding time so that it is not at a meal time.

Other ways to cut costs - eliminate favors, scale back on decorations, etc. 

Calypso1977

how much did your "pretty fancy" venue cost you?  if its a sizeable amoutn, maybe consider canceling and finding somewhere cheaper and then puttingt hat money towards food.

if you have your heart set on this venue, then id do your ceremony outside of meal times since hte food you are looking at is not going to suffice, IMO. 

you say you are going to do app and then dessert and then cupcakes.  why dont you cut out either the dessert or the cupcakes and get more food?

SB1512

Have you looked into catering by culinary schools?  I went to a wedding last year and the catering was done by students (supervised of course) in a culinary program at a local trade school.  Not only was the food amazing, but the cost was very budget friendly, because the students are trying to gain experience, not make the same paycheck as a professional.

Judell789

You guys are missing the point. Maybe I wasn't clear. We will have one heavy appetizer which will be the meal. The guests are getting a MEAL. The food will be nice. I don't want sandwiches at my wedding, I'm not a peasant and neither are my guests. My question was referring to logistics really. Does serving a heavy appetiser go against etiquette just because it's not a traditional meal?

MrsKathyC

No one is going to be impressed with your "fancy" venue if they're only being served a chicken kabob and some cheese.

AdeleDazeem

We need to know what the appetizer-masquerading-as-a-meal is, first.

Calypso1977

can you describe what "one heavy appetizer" is??? 

what about pasta trays?  

Judell789

The guest list is set. The venue is set. The time is set. If anything else changes, I will lose too much in deposits. I'm more concerned with having everyone I want there than with impressing everyone with 17 different appetisers! FFS.

CALEO

PS - here is DC catering for $9.25 a person.  I usually don't suggest hot dogs and hamburgers at a wedding - but a meal is better than an appetizer!

Even better - this is $16.50 a person and is more "weddingy" food http://www.mindyscateringdc.com/corp_dinner.html

AdeleDazeem

What is the appetizer?

Calypso1977

so obviously your mind is set, so why ask?

i hope you arent pulling up to your fancy venue in a limo wearing a $3K dress with 10 bridesmaids spilling out.  that will really get people rubbed wrong as they nibble on their meager sustenance.

lyndausvi

What is your proposed menu?

Judell789

The appetizer is a seafood bruschetta.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:082b0f94-b767-4e77-ad3f-96c532ee7376">Re: Alternative meal for low budget wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]The appetizer is a seafood bruschetta.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

Oh dear.

You need more food.

STAT.

Judell789

No we are not having limos for the person who asked. And my dress was under a grand, so please don't assume things.

Calypso1977

so what about people who dont eat fish or have shellfood allergies?

this defintiely is not enough.... even if you gave everyone 6 pieces they'll be starving.

again, can you ditch one or both of the desserts and offer another food choice instead?  how much is hte dessert and cupcakes costing you?

MrsKathyC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:082b0f94-b767-4e77-ad3f-96c532ee7376">Re: Alternative meal for low budget wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]The appetizer is a seafood bruschetta.
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

I do not care for seafood, so I would not be able to eat if I were a guest at your wedding.

Judell789

The cupcakes are free courtesy of my aunt, and the dessert is a fruit salad, also very cheap provided by the venue. I was joking about the cheese and crackers...

s-aries8990

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alternative-meal-for-low-budget-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6a49251-d94d-4f36-9279-cd66a7869fd7Post:f81e17ca-45b9-42df-9b94-c9a85f928bf0">Re: Alternative meal for low budget wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]You guys are missing the point. Maybe I wasn't clear. We will have one heavy appetizer which will be the meal. The guests are getting a MEAL. The food will be nice. I don't want sandwiches at my wedding, I'm not a peasant and neither are my guests. My question was referring to logistics really. Does serving a heavy appetiser go against etiquette just because it's not a traditional meal?
Posted by Judell789[/QUOTE]

Well is it a meal? or just one type of appetizer? I'm confuses. As pp's said, you need to count on 12-17 pieces per person. You don't need to have sandwiches, but trust me, sandwiches don't have to be peasant food!

Heavy apps can hold over a crowd, but if you can do a pasta bar in addition (some penne a la vodka, alfredo, scampi, marinara) it can save some money and provide variety and "weight"