Who gets flowers?

Andama08

Both of my parents are married but my fiance's parents are divorced and remarried. I planned to have our parents, stepparents, and biological grandparents & spouses wear corsages and bouts, but what about step-grandparents? Should they still be recognized as grandparents? Do I include them all in the program? I don't know what is etiquettly correct.

mlg78

I would look at it as an honor...  Do you want them to feel like your grandparent that day?  For me, I want my step grandmother to have a corsage because all of my biological grandparents are deceased.  I am a little confused by you saying "biolgoical grandparents & spouses"...spouses would either be grandparents or step grandparents...so that is a bit confusing for me...

As far as the program, we're listing parents and WP only, I think...I might do grandparents (which would include my one step).  How many step grandparents are we talking about?

Andama08

My fiance's grandmother remarried and so did his grandfather.
There would be 7 grandmothers (my 2 grandmothers, fiance's two grandmothers, fiance's stepmother's mother, fiance's stepfather's mother, and his grandfather's wife)

And 3 grandfathers (my 1 grandfather, fiance's 1 grandfather, and his grandmother's husband)

I was considering the parents of my fiance's stepparents to be stepgrandparents.
Hope I didn't lose you but this is so confusing haha but that would be 10 grandparents total.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_who-gets-flowers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6cef90f-c8a8-4751-85b0-044074e9a93bPost:ed308dd9-65d3-4e41-b1f1-24e7a45614ed">Re: Who gets flowers?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would look at it as an honor...  Do you want them to feel like your grandparent that day?  For me, I want my step grandmother to have a corsage because all of my biological grandparents are deceased.  I am a little confused by you saying "biolgoical grandparents & spouses"...spouses would either be grandparents or step grandparents...so that is a bit confusing for me... As far as the program, we're listing parents and WP only, I think...I might do grandparents (which would include my one step).  How many step grandparents are we talking about?
Posted by mlg78[/QUOTE]

JaxInBlue

In most cases, I think being inclusive and making these small gestures is the better and more inclusive path to take, particularly if the step-grandparents are spouses of biological grandparents.  If they are not, but are step-parents because of FI's parent's remarriages, a lot of what I would do would depend on whether or not they consider FI a grandson and he considers them grandparents.  In this second scenario is similar to what I went through with my step-dads' parents.

In my case, one of my step-dads has been in my life forever and I would have happily treated his mom has a grandmother if she had still been with us.  On the other hand, I was 21 when "Oscar" and my dad met and 24 when they got married.  I did not list Oscar's parents as grandparents, nor would I have purchased them flowers. had they been able to attend.  I've only met them twice, never had more than a 20 minute conversation with them and only call them Mr. and Mrs. Oscar's Parents.  I don't think there was ever an expectation they be treated as grandparents, though, because they have not fulfilled that role in my life.  This is completely a personal point of view though.  In general, I'm all for being as inclusive as possible.

Andama08

Some of them I've met once or twice and some not at all but I guess it's better to include to not cause any drama. That's the last thing I want on my wedding day.

libby2483

For our wedding, we got corsages/boutonnieres for all grandparents, regardless of if they were step-grandparents or not.  One of these grandparents was H's stepdad's stepdad...so I understand the step-grandparent sitaution! We ended up providing 6 corsages for grandmas and 2 boutonnieres for grandpas.