Wedding Etiquette Forum

Shower inviation drama

Hello! I've been engaged for nearly two years (wedding is next month), and this is the first time I've been stressed out enough about something to ask for advice. I hope this doesn't seem silly.

My mother and Maid of Honour are hosting a bridal shower for me this coming weekend, and my mother mentioned to me just yesterday that she has invited a handful of people to the shower that haven't been invited to the wedding. I know this is considered very bad manners, and she was not aware of this at all and thinks I'm worrying over nothing. My main concern, though, is how to handle a situation in which one of them asks if they were/why they weren't invited to the actual wedding. I can't just say, "Oh, sorry, you shouldn't have even been invited to this shower in the first place."

Can anyone give me any tips about how to handle this situation?

Thank you!

Re: Shower inviation drama

  • CellesCelles member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    Can you claim that it was an oversight and just invite them to the wedding?
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  • Well, since it was an oversight on your mother's part I'd just defer the questions to her.  Let her figure it out.
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-inviation-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a73d182a-bcb2-4cd2-b925-35a0955573a5Post:cddba8d0-43e3-4040-b9cf-fba1a6e94643">Re: Shower inviation drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, since it was an oversight on your mother's part I'd just defer the questions to her.  Let her figure it out.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    Listen to AATB, for she is wise.
  • Hmmm....I guess it depends on who the people are. While it is very bad etiqutte in general, if they are your mom's friends, or family, then I think she really needs to apologize to them and take care of the situation. I doubt anyone would ask why they weren't invited, but it could happen. 

    Where I come from, church ladies would be invited to the shower, regardless of whether or not they were invited to the wedding...just a local custom, so if its something like that I wouldn't worry.


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-inviation-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a73d182a-bcb2-4cd2-b925-35a0955573a5Post:cddba8d0-43e3-4040-b9cf-fba1a6e94643">Re: Shower inviation drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, since it was an oversight on your mother's part I'd just defer the questions to her.  Let her figure it out.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    My thoughts exactly.
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  • I agree 100% with AATB.
    If that isn't possible however and you get bombarded by someone,all you can do is explain that you weren't the one throwing the shower and that you're truly sorry that she/they is/are offended at the mishap.
    that your wedding is on an incredibly tight guest list for whatever reason (budget is always the easiest excuse.. "were paying for the wedding ourselves and so we couldn't invite everyone we wanted to do to finances.."  etc)
    Honestly, the moment they hear finances has a play, they will feel a little uncomfortable and like a jerk for bombarding you about it at your own wedding shower.

    That's a last resort though I would say... put it on your mom ;) haha
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-inviation-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a73d182a-bcb2-4cd2-b925-35a0955573a5Post:b0590f3b-893b-49f4-aebb-46e57df84f9d">Re: Shower inviation drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Shower inviation drama : Listen to AATB, for she is wise.
    Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]

    Ditto.
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