Etiquette

Two questions about RSVP's

I am getting married in 10 days.  I am having a small (65 people), sit down dinner with personalized favors (books).  I sent out about 80 invites, and about five of them have not sent back an RSVP.  They are all on my fiance's side of the fence, so I assigned him the task of reaching these people to see if they are coming or not (this was about a week or so ago).  Two couples have yet to answer a phone or email message left by my fiance.  So question #1 is:  do I figure they aren't coming?  I don't want to leave space for them b/c the dinners are $80 a plate and I don't want to go to the trouble of creating favors for them. 

Question #2:  One couple on my side were friends of mine for about three years.  Besides being friends, I was their childrens nanny for about three weeks (I am a laid-off teacher and she offered me the job b/c she knows how much I hate subbing, and I was a nanny before I became a teacher).  After about three weeks into nannying for them, they decided that they couldn't afford me, and they were very short with me, gave me no notice, didn't apologize for basically leaving me with no income, etc.  I understand about money, but how they handled it was very rude.  In fact, my friend had her husband call me, and when I went to their house to drop off the key and car seat, she wouldn't come down to talk to me.  I understand that she is embarressed, but she is also a grown-up, and that was a terrible way to handle the situation.

Anyway- I have invited them to the wedding (I had invited them before this all went down and they rsvp'd as coming).  I don't know what to expect.  I can't imagine that she would come to my wedding after what happened, but I also can't imagine them just not showing when a week ago I was complaining to her about question #1.  I don't want to plan for them to be there and then end up paying $200 for dinners that no one will eat.  I have to give my reception site my final tally next Wednesday.

What would you do? 

Thanks!

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