Am i being ridiculous?

lhypse

Im a pretty laid back bride. Im having a destination wedding with only 22 people total. So far its been stress free!
My cousin picked her wedding date six months after mine and it just so happens shes getting married 2 weeks after me. She was originally coming to my wedding but now she cant which I completely understand cause shed have to fly, get a hotel room, etc.
But this last weekend she planned her bachelorette party to be the same weekend as my wedding.
I just kind of feel like this is pretty rude. She seems to keep 'one upping" me. Im a no drama girl so ill never say anything to her about how this is kind of hurtful.
sooo am I being ridiculous?
We have a big family, I think it would be nice if our weddings were more spread out!

GoodLuckBear14

Ignore her. 

kmbryant2413

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-i-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a87936db-355d-407a-83fc-0e31f3c1087fPost:1693c9cc-dc9a-441c-ae79-268d42cd8dde">Re: Am i being ridiculous?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ignore her. 
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto!</div>

nda8414

I'd be annoyed too (something similar to this happened to me too), BUT, once you're done venting (which you totally deserve to do), just smile and take it as flattery that she's a total copy cat.

steign

Yeah I'd be a little peeved but, like PP said just ignore her.

AddieCake

Are you worried that mutual family/female guests will choose her bachelorette party over your wedding?  Because they won't. 

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-i-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a87936db-355d-407a-83fc-0e31f3c1087fPost:a82c7eeb-7b6b-44a1-9e34-9af57cedb021">Re: Am i being ridiculous?</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you worried that mutual family/female guests will choose her bachelorette party over your wedding?  Because they won't. 
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]
Yeah I would never choose a bach party over an actual wedding. It sucks that she's basically saying you can't come to the bach party, but there is rarely a such thing as the perfect date where everyone can definitely attend.
Ignore her and let her plan away. She's the one that will come off looking ridiculous if you just ignore her.

TheBaysideBride

my brother did somethign similar to me. just ignore it. it's your amazing day, who cares if someone, somewhere is doing a bachelorette party.

it might be the best date for her, and if it's all different people, who cares.

have fun!

Amyzen83

I don't really seeing the possible overlap being an issue unless you have the same closest friends and family, and usually weddings trump bach parties anyway. Either way I think you should continue focusing on your own and ignore your cousin, she sounds petty.

Peledreamsofrain

Worst possible scenario you have guests overlap and she loses out because weddings trump a lot.

fionahalliwell

I think OP is upset because her cousin won't come to her wedding, but is happy to have her bachelorette that weekend instead. Truth is, she's not in charge of her bachelorette, so there's not much you can do. Just vent, ignore her, and move on. And have an amazing wedding! 

loca4pook

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-i-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a87936db-355d-407a-83fc-0e31f3c1087fPost:a82c7eeb-7b6b-44a1-9e34-9af57cedb021">Re: Am i being ridiculous?</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you worried that mutual family/female guests will choose her bachelorette party over your wedding?  Because they won't. 
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

I agree..In fact, she might lose people out to your wedding and won't she feel like an ass then!!

erinlin25

how is she "one upping" you!?  You are getting married that day--pretty sure thats better than a bachelorette party.  Its your day for you, not everyone on the planet that is not at your wedding need to plan around it.  Her wedding is two weeks from your wedding, so that make perfect sense her bachelorette would be that weekend.  And considering she is not planning her bachelorette party, you cannot be mad at her.  Maybe that is the only weekend that worked for her host or majority of her guests?  Was she just supoosed to be unavailable that day and sit at home thinking about your wedding!?  Or are you just sad you do not get to go to her bachelorette party? 

amberleigh325

I have only one female cousin almost exactly my age. My FI and I got engaged about a year and a half ago, picked end of April 2013. My cousin chose her date about a month ago and chose exactly two weeks after ours. Both of ours are at least a couple hours out of town for all our family. We are one state away from each other. She knowingly planned her wedding during our honeymoon. I have allowed myself some gigantic eyerolling. At some point you just have to let it go because it's just not worth being offended or too annoyed about what other people do.

AmandaKess

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-i-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a87936db-355d-407a-83fc-0e31f3c1087fPost:6d36d99f-cfe8-4935-83dd-44c7853d6100">Re: Am i being ridiculous?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ignore her and let her plan away. She's the one that will come off looking ridiculous if you just ignore her.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

I agree. This is honestly the best way to stick it to her. It just makes her look like a jerk, but oh my god I would be livid.

Amyzen83

amberleigh325, sorry that happened to you! The nice thing to know is that your cousin planning her wedding the week of your honeymoon, she gets the consequence of not having one of her cousins at her wedding. Her loss! Good advice though.

OP, please don't let this affect you on your big day. Like some pp said, this may not have been intentionally passive aggressive, plus others brought up a good point and that your cousin didn't plan her b-party, most likely her maid of honor or bridesmaids did and that worked best for them. If you think of it in those terms and don't take it personally, the thought won't be as painful.

mbenoit03

wow this is kind of rude i think, and i agree family will choose a wedding over a bachelorette party... did you send out invitations already? did she receive one? who in there right mind can do this to there cousin?!

Amyzen83

You'd be surprised