how to handle this...

SJM7538

so due to having very large families and our budget, my fiance and I decided the only children that will be invited to the wedding are my two nephews and his four year old sister (also they are all in the WP)

On my step moms side, who I am relatively close with bc I grew up with them since I was 5, my cousins and children of cousins range from 7 to 30. I have on aunt with three daughters, two of them are older, 16 and 20 and her youngest is ten. So I'm not sure how to handle this as far as the guest list. We absolutely can not invite all the kids from that side of my family but I don't want to split up a family. I think my ten year old cousin would be really hurt if her sisters were invited and she wasnt. But my older cousins on that side have kids that are around the same age.
 
So how do invite one kid from my step moms side and not all of them? I'm also worried she will be bored bc there wont be anyone else there her age really, but I feel like that should be up to her and her mom to decide. Any thoughts??

krizzo17

Are you closer with your first cousins you mentioned than the older ones who have kids of their own? If so, I would think you could invite all of your first cousins, regardless of age, and then the older children of your cousins (I hope that made sense, the cousins thing always confuses me). Or, you could look for a signifant gap in ages somewhere that would give you a better cutoff so no sets of siblings were divided.

SJM7538

So the older ones that have their own kids now, we grew up together. i was in one of their weddings! The problem is is that their kids are in the same age range as my ten year old cousin she's the youngest cousin in the family. My fianc and i never intended on inviting children of our cousins but in this instance they're all so close and they all play together. That side of the family is really tight knit.

krizzo17

I'd think the question isn't how close these kids are to each other, but how close you are with the kids. If you can honestly say you don't have more than a casual relationship with your cousin's kids (all of them, not just some) than I don't think it would be a problem not inviting them and just including all of your first cousins.

OliveOilsMom

I would invite the cousins.  But not the children of cousins.  That would include your 10 year old cousin being invited, then it is up to her parents if she attends.  This is inviting in circles.  I think when SM's family looks around, they will realize that all first cousins were invited, but not first cousins' children. 

SJM7538

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8861d15-9eec-482b-8a67-b5c33915d550Post:039ed9a0-1408-41f3-9f66-b886d452a29a">Re: how to handle this...</a>:
[QUOTE]I would invite the cousins.  But not the children of cousins.  That would include your 10 year old cousin being invited, then it is up to her parents if she attends.  This is inviting in circles.  I<strong> think when SM's family looks around, they will realize that all first cousins were invited, but not first cousins' children. 
</strong>Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

Ok this makes sense to me. I guess I was worried about my older cousins looking around and thinking "Hey 10 year old cousin was invited, my son is 8 so why wasn't he invited."

Splitting up the girls wasn't an option for me. I adore my 10 year old cousin. I don't see her a whole lot, mostly just at family functions, but whenever I see her she always runs up to me and hugs me and tells me she misses me. So I wanted to make sure she had the option of coming if she wanted to.

mtrosales

I would invite JUST first cousins--no second cousins/children of cousins.
Good luck!

[Deleted User]

I would just do the cousins & not include their kids on the invite, you have to draw the line somewhere with your guest list. If the only kids at the reception are ones that are in the wedding no one should really question that because it would be rude to have kids in your wedding & not allow them to come to the ceremony.