+1s

stargazer841

Fiancee and I have a relatively big budget to work with. We want to give all our single friends +1s, but we're not sure how to go about addressing the envelopes. We're also listing each guest's name on the RSVP cards (to avoid confusion about who's invited). How would we go about wording for the +1, since we wouldn't know the name of the +1? I've been told to avoid writing guest or +1 on invites, so I'm kind of stuck on how to go about this. Thanks for any help you can offer.

tlv204

I would try to find out as many names as you can and address things directly to them (possibly by including a note in the invitation or giving a heads up call to single guests that they can bring someone, and politely asking if they know already who it will be), and then if there are some stragglers who don't know until the day before the wedding, just use "guest of mr. smith" or something similar.

JessAndTrav

That's when you contact the guest that you'd like to extend the +1 to and ask them what the name of their date is.

danieliza1127

When the time comes to address the invitations, just ask your friends who they are bringing so you can address the invitation.  If they say they don't know yet, then go ahead and use "and Guest" and ask them to write in the guest's name on the RSVP card.

SheDiva4

I would try to write everyone who is invited name on the envelopes.  This means that you would probably need to ask your guests who are not married or in a serious relationship who they would like to bring as a guests.

You have quite some time to gather this information since your wedding is not till 2011.  I wouldn't ask too early just in case there are break-ups, new relationship etc.

stargazer841

Thanks for the replies! This is a huge help.

stargazer841

SheDiva4: it is early, but I've always been a stickler when it comes to the small details. I like everything to be perfect and to plan ahead of time to avoid any problems. I'm going to try not worry too much about invites right now, I guess I just don't feel like waiting lol.

[Deleted User]

I just wrote "and guest." No one seemed to mind. And only 1 single person even brought a guest, which surprised me.

CLSchramm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_1s?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a8f5d453-9444-4055-b512-ca09a7059959Post:33ad6fe2-1bea-41ab-85a7-64f027f2cecd">Re: +1s</a>:
[QUOTE]SheDiva4: it is early, but I've always been a stickler when it comes to the small details. I like everything to be perfect and to plan ahead of time to avoid any problems. I'm going to try not worry too much about invites right now, I guess I just don't feel like waiting lol.
Posted by stargazer841[/QUOTE]

A word from the wise: wait as long as you can. Relationships can change Big time: ex: a GM in our wedding had a g/f who was my bm. They broke up, she dropped out, he started dating a new girl...and they just got married last weekend at the JOP. No joke. WAIT!!! lol

tenofcups4me

It's the norm to put "And Guest" on the inner envelope. (If you don't have one, as I didn't, you can also put it on the outer.) Of course, if someone has a boyfriend/girlfriend, lives with someone, etc., you put that person's name.

As someone who was single for a long time, I say PLEASE don't call your single friends before you send the invitations and ask them to select a date's name months in advance! Odds are good they won't be able to do it and it will only make them feel pressured and uneasy -- in essence, the exact opposite of the purpose of following etiquette.

quotequeen

When I emailed people to ask for their addresses, I also told them to let me know if there was a particular person they would like to be invited with.  If they didn't respond with anybody, I will just be writing "and guest," and will be leaving the guest's response card blank for them to fill in.

stargazer841

Thanks for all the advice! And to the posters above who told me to wait, I'm definitely going to wait. I don't plan on sending the invitations until about 3 months before the wedding. I guess I'm so excited about planning a wedding that I'm thinking of everything now as supposed to just enjoying being engaged and spacing my wedding projects out.