Do you really have to?

KendraED2012

Do you have to invite all aunts, uncles, cousins, if you are inviting one or a few? What if you do not speak to most of them and are only inviting the ones you actually have contact with?
I am only planning to invite my dad's 2 real sisters, and foster sister and foster brothers. There would be another sister that I would never think about inviting and a brother. I want to invite my mom's sister, that leaves out 1 other plus 2 brothers and the one I don't even know.

So my main question is where is the line of who I have to invite vs who I can invite? Does it really matter if I have no contact with them whatsoever?

Then I have my own siblings. My sister and I have not spoke in over a year and she has 2 grown children (soon 19 and 17) and the 17 is my niece she will be 18 when I get married. Can I invite just my niece and nephew and not my sister and BIL? If answers are based on how I may ruin any chance of a relationship with her, it's already done and won't be salvaged at all, so I'm not worried about that. I love my niece and nephew and they are old enough to choose if they want to bother with me or not.
 I am having a baby this summer and I would love for them to be around but my sister purposely planned their vacation around my due date and she refuses to allow my niece to come to my baby shower.

AddieCake

We only invited the people who are in our lives on a regular basis,regardless of where they fall on our family trees.

Avion22

Only you know your family dynamic, and only you know how it would go over in your family if some people were invited and not others.   There is no etiquette rule that if you invite one aunt/uncle, that they all must be invited.     But depending on your family dynamic, you should be prepared to cut off ties with family members who don't get invited when their brother/sister did.  

megannie

The woman who married my cousin who passed away, remarried and cut all ties with our family because she felt she belonged to his family now, but her two girls are my cousin's girls, and they both expressed interest in coming to our wedding. So, I invited them, even though I didn't invite her because I know she would not be interested in attending. Also, one of my cousins is my MOH, yet I don't really see or spend time with her brother and sister, so I also did not invite them. Unfortunately, it seems she may try to hinder your niece and nephew from coming, but if you want them there, I would definitely invite them.

KendraED2012

Thanks ladies! I just read a lot on here that if one is invited all should be. Usually the bride/poster doesn't or can't give a "good enough" reason to not invite.

Mine is simply because I have no contact with them, some I don't even know, some I don't want to know and heck my one "aunt" doesn't even know my name when she sees me at work with a name tag on, she still calls me my sister's name. I can't stand seeing her when I do, she may say hi if she does I smile/nod but nothing more simply because she isn't my aunt in the moment she's a customer so I have to be polite.

I know and am closer to my dads foster family then his blood family, simply because they been apart of our lives growing up and I know them more. If it were up to me I wouldn't invite the 2 blood sisters but I know my parents would want them their and they are the only "civil" ones that I can get along with and do talk to once in awhile. They have contact with my parents so I can't deny them. <this was just mentioned about inviting them because it would hurt my parents otherwise.

Yes, my sister has tons of power over her children's thought process, sadly. I have no desire to try and save the relationship but I do want my niece and nephew to be there and want to maintain a relationship with them. I can see her opening their mail and not even giving it to them for them to decide for themselves.

Thank you we are super excited for the baby! First for us both.

nicoleandersonmd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-you-really-have-to?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:aa2f516b-ec6e-44df-87af-6ddbf249df1ePost:11667ad9-4c6a-4bb4-a92f-c236cb862bd4">Re: Do you really have to?</a>:
[QUOTE]We only invited the people who are in our lives on a regular basis,regardless of where they fall on our family trees.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]



Ditto.

berrycrazygirl13

Only you can decide what is best for your day. I haven't had contact with my father and his side of the family in years except the random bump in at the store or something. I am not inviting any of them. I recently started talking to my childhood stepmom (It's been over 10 years since she was with my dad) so I am going to extend the invite to her since she was a big part of shaping the person I am now. I drew the line with only my aunts and uncles on my mom's side as my cousin's are all much older than me and I do not see them. On the other hand, my fiance has a hard time saying no to his mother and therefore our guest list has extended further than I wanted but it is not just my say. We have agreed to cut things down that if someone is not dating anyone, they are being invited as a single to make room for other people. Some find this tacky and I wish I had more money so I wouldn't have to do it but in the end I am not going into debt for strangers to attend. I know that those on my list are those that I really want there and I will have time to socialize with them instead of stressing about having to talk to the ones I don't like!!