This one might be a little long....
So some back story...... My ex-BFF and I have not spoken in ~2 years. She is not invited to the wedding. We had a falling out that ended with her saying that I was a horrible friend. (This was after being there for her through a couple of rehab situations over the last five years and was the last straw with me. She has already run off most of her friends and thinks she has never done anything wrong to anyone.) That being said, she and I were BFFs for almost 15 years, and I pretty much grew up at her house. I am still close with the rest of her family, her parents and two sisters. They are invited to the wedding.
The first sticky situation is that her family will be invited to the wedding, but she will not. I have already had a vague conversation with her mom (I said I can't wait to see you, husband, and the two sisters at the wedding and conveniently left my ex-BFF out of the list). I don't think her parents will have a problem with this, because they know the situation and know I just don't want drama on my day.
The second situation is a bit stickier. My ex-BFFs mom wants to "get a couple of ladies together" to throw me a wedding shower at the church she attends (also the church a lot of my family attends and I grew up in). The problem is that I moved away about 10 years ago, and I don't plan on inviting very many people (other than family) from the church. I told her of my invite plans (and that I did not think it appropriate to invite people to a shower that are not invited to the wedding), but her response was "people do this at the church all the time, you don't have to invite everyone that comes to the shower to the wedding". I am worried that she is going to go ahead with her plan. I was trying to be nice and may not have been firm enough. What do I do?
Thank you. Sorry it was so long!