Wedding Etiquette Forum

Last minute invite to bridal shower - do I bother going to the wedding now?

A friend of mine invited me to her bridal shower (via a phone call!) 5 days before the scheduled event. She apologized profusely stating that because I had been on vacation a few weeks prior, and she didn't have my address, she wasn't able to mail me the invite. Supposedly the RSVP's were due while I was away. (I went out with this girl 2 days before my trip and she said nothing about the bridal shower to me then, nor did she ask for my mailing address. When I came back from my trip, we exchanged emails and still nothing).  I didn't attend the shower for a variety of reasons. Married friends of mine told me that I was likely invited because the bride was "low on numbers" and therefore needed "fillers" (this was a bigger party at a restaurant/hall). 

The wedding is in September. The RSVPs were due 10 days ago and I haven't replied (yes I got this invite on time). I really want to attend but am wondering if after the whole shower fiasco I should even bother? Any thoughts? The bride and I aren't close now but for many years we were the best of friends. Why would anyone send out a last minute invite for such an important event that is usually planned months in advance? I'm not married. I'm not even engaged but I've been a part of A LOT of weddings and even I know this wasn't proper etiquette. 

Re: Last minute invite to bridal shower - do I bother going to the wedding now?

  • You have to decide if you want to attend this wedding or not. It really doesn't matter at this point if you were a last minute invite or not. You have been invited. The two of you used to be very close before.
  • I would go.

    The bride usually doesn't plan her own shower and I'll say from my own experience it's not something you feel like you have much control over.

    For example...my aunts are planning mine (no bridal party) and one has MS. It's just too damn hot in the summer for her to do much. So we are having it way closer to my wedding than I would like for my own sanity, but I'm incredibly touched so I'm going with the flow. I have no idea, much less control, over when invites go out.

    If you think she's genuine, then chalk it up to wedding brain and let it go. If you think she's using you, then don't. But trust your gut. Maybe she thought she had your address and didn't. Getting addresses=a big PITA and if yours was one of ten or twenty it might have slipped. Sometimes when you talk to people all the time it doesn't occur to you to ask important things because you have it in your brain like there is a next time, not a one shot.
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