What is this world coming to...

jessjo04

when we need a 150 page book to learn how to listen. I have a book for one of my grad school counseling classes that teaches how to listen to people. Sounds like something that should be taught before grad school. Apparently we don't know how to listen. It reminds me of the SNL guy in nebb's sig, I expect the book to be three pages:

Step 1: SHUT UP
Step 2: LISTEN
Step 3: SHUT UP AND LISTEN!

MyNameIsNot

Step 1.5 Put your phone down

beatlesgirl25

Hm, not to be all wet blanket on your thread topic, but when you're going to school for a profession where listening is your primary job, I think it warrants quite a bit of learning on the topic. I think you actually know that "listening" is more complex than hearing, or the layperson's definition of listening. Books and books have been written about listening for this very reason. If active listening was indeed such a common sense skill, people wouldn't need counselors as much and the world would be a better place. Just my two cents.

Edit: Also, I've known many counseling/psych people who are the worst listeners in the world, so clearly it is a subject worth emphasizing.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-world-coming?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab876f90-51ed-4a90-9955-c9c0d0bfb561Post:02543ef4-d288-4100-9d98-060684800a23">Re: What is this world coming to...</a>:
[QUOTE]Hm, not to be all wet blanket on your thread topic, but when you're going to school for a profession where listening is your primary job, I think it warrants quite a bit of learning on the topic. I think you actually know that "listening" is more complex than hearing, or the layperson's definition of listening. Books and books have been written about listening for this very reason. If active listening was indeed such a common sense skill, people wouldn't need counselors as much and the world would be a better place. Just my two cents.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]
Beatles is smart (and not just because she has "Beatles" in her name).

jessjo04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-world-coming?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab876f90-51ed-4a90-9955-c9c0d0bfb561Post:02543ef4-d288-4100-9d98-060684800a23">Re: What is this world coming to...</a>:
[QUOTE]Hm, not to be all wet blanket on your thread topic, but when you're going to school for a profession where listening is your primary job, I think it warrants quite a bit of learning on the topic. I think you actually know that "listening" is more complex than hearing, or the layperson's definition of listening. Books and books have been written about listening for this very reason. If active listening was indeed such a common sense skill, people wouldn't need counselors as much and the world would be a better place. Just my two cents. Also, I've known many counseling/psych people who are the worst listeners in the world, so clearly it is a subject worth emphasizing.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

Don't get me wrong, I learned from the book, but it just seems like a skill that would be better taught early.

crfische

Awww...validation, reframing, active listening. The good ol' days.

"So what I hear you saying is...."

beatlesgirl25

Thanks betrothed.

Jessjo, that's what grad school is for. I think you're implying that people should have a knack for these skills before going into the profession, and while some people are naturals due to their temperament and upbringing, it's not a standard I would hold anyone to if they are just entering the field. It's humbling to know how much there is to learn about topic areas that sound so commonplace, but it is necessary. No one is above learning this.

FWIW, in my first year of grad school, the expected primary clinical skill goals for the year were "relationship building" and "empathic listening." I had no idea what this truly meant until I experienced the year, and it surprised me how non-basic these skills are.

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-world-coming?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab876f90-51ed-4a90-9955-c9c0d0bfb561Post:217830be-83ff-4988-ab76-9eb4401faaa4">Re: What is this world coming to...</a>:
[QUOTE]Awww...validation, reframing, active listening. The good ol' days. "So what I hear you saying is...."
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

Fishy, it sounds like you are reminiscing about the good ol' days. Tell me more about that... ;)

crfische

HA!

I loved it. You don't realize how much people suck at listening (and perhaps you suck at it yourself) until you videotape yourself sounding like a moron, talking too much, and not really heaing what the person says, but what you want to hear.

Good times, good times.

jessjo04

I'm not saying you should have a 'knack' for things naturally, I'm saying that people would probably have better relationships with others if this was something taught earlier and to everyone (not just those in the helping profession). I'm sure plenty of employees feel like their bosses dont listen to them, students in schools dont feel like they are being heard, etc.

betrothed123

If it makes you feel better, the first unit in my massage school was hand washing.  We had a unit test on hand washing.... no joke.  You'd think that's something you should know at that point, but the techniques we used are not commonly taught to children growing up.

jessjo04

Yeah fische, we're going to be recording soon. We just started role playing, and its so uncomfortable to not talk an even amount. Shows where are values are in conversations, I guess.

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-world-coming?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab876f90-51ed-4a90-9955-c9c0d0bfb561Post:261b8760-82ad-4592-8ef8-985c089e884f">Re: What is this world coming to...</a>:
[QUOTE]HA! :) I loved it. You don't realize how much people suck at listening (and perhaps you suck at it yourself) until you videotape yourself sounding like a moron, talking too much, and not really heaing what the person says, but what you want to hear. Good times, good times.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

Uh yeah, or transcribing was the worst. Realizing the ratio of text is 3:1 between therapist and client is a humbling experience indeed. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" />

Jessjo, I think I get what you're saying in more general terms.

Betrothed, that's too funny about the hand-washing.