Sticky guest list situation

lasavino

I recently sent out our save-the-dates-one of them was to one of our groomsmen and his longtime girlfriend. The envelope was addressed to both of them and even gave them an extra STD magnet since I had plenty of extras. Recently, they broke up- and it wasn't very clean. I was roommates with the girlfriend for a short while and were close at that time, but that was a few years ago and I haven't talked or hung out with her in a very long time. So honestly, I wouldn't care if she came or not to the wedding. When we invited her it was because she was dating one of the groomsmen. I know it would be awkward if they were both there-especially with dates. Obviously the groomsman will still be invited, but is it possible to back out on her invite w/o being totallly rude? Or should I sent her one anyways and figure she won't attend? Do I include "and guest" for both of them? Help!

golden1215

Hmmmmm, I personally, would consider her a guest of the groosman.  If they are no longer together, I wouldnt feel obligated to send her an invite and also give her a plus one.  2 save the date magnets wouldnt = 2 seperate invites in my mind.  Had you have sent her her own save the date then yes, you would have to invite her.

If you are having a large enough wedding, you could always invite her and hope she doesnt come.  What's FI/groomsman take on it??

danieliza1127

I think you would probably be fine in not inviting her. 

btrflykate1230

I think it would be okay to not invite her. She was invited because of a GM and not because you wanted her there, KWIM?

kkchisholm

Fi and my best friends broke up. The guy is fi's best man. We decided we would invite the exgirlfriend is we remained close. I actually thought her and I would, but we didn't/  We are still very very close to the guy, so we not inviting her. I think it's okay for you not to invite her.

georgia_bride09

Since she was essentially a plus one in the first place, I think you can leave her off the guest list at this point.

lasavino

even if I already "invited" her through a STD magnet?

kkchisholm

Honestly she probably wont even be expecting an invite.

If you don't plan on being friends do not worry about it.

janedoe1113a

Yea, I wouldn't invite her.  She was a plus one to the GM.  She is no longer his plus one, so I don't think she needs to get an invite.

KentuckyKate

I asked a very similar question last month, with a poll, on this board.  Here are the results to that poll.

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-sent-std-but-removing-guest-list

Orionvixen

There is always a possibility of awkwardness with anything in life. But do you share the same friends through the GM?  Do you really bump into her that often?  

If you guys were BFF I think this would be more of an issue.  I agree with the others that she was a plus one and is no longer a plus one.  You mentioned it ended badly, would you want to run the risk of their drama exploding on your wedding day?