Last Minute Invites

KJB09

We unexpedily had a really large number of no's RSVP for our wedding and now I m dangerously close to not meeting our minimum at the venue. Can I invite people with two weeks to go and, if so, how?

Summer2011Bride

No, that's B-listing people. If someone got an invitation two weeks prior to a wedding, they will know they are second-string and that would be rude. Can you upgrade the food or beverage to hit the minimum cost at the venue?

chumlee7478

Upgrade the bar, add apps at cocktail hour, add a course to the meal, etc.

Those are all ways to increase the minimum without outright announcing you had a B list for your wedding. Nothing says love like "hey, come to our wedding, here's your invite! it's in 14 days!"

melb2013

No B list.  I agree with the upgrading.

[Deleted User]

I will be the dissenter here......
We were invited to a wedding last minute.  Our connection was....a friend of a friend of a friend.  The invitation was offered because we were interested in the band, venue, and food.  They knew that, and that is why they invited us.  I sent a nice note and small gift as a thank you but knew I was under NO obligation to send anything.
At the same wedding, junior bridesmaid got to invite some of her high school friends, as "space" opened up.  I can't imagine any giggly high school kids were offended as well as sending a gift

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_last-minute-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:adf85b84-1fbc-4858-8982-b5f77ee3b7f1Post:f8417527-6847-4ebd-acbd-a29f94eb2d20">Re: Last Minute Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Minute Invites : We aren't talking about high schoolers here.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

My point is in some cases...it can be done, vs paying the minimum at a venue and the money going to waste.  Upgrading may not be an option

mlperkins12

I'm not quite sure what type of wedding you are planning, but if I had a similar situation I would add some "late night" food for the partiers. 

KT020803

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_last-minute-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:adf85b84-1fbc-4858-8982-b5f77ee3b7f1Post:5c5d3254-a1e8-4d48-b2be-39db4e6ec513">Re: Last Minute Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not quite sure what type of wedding you are planning, but if I had a similar situation I would add some "late night" food for the partiers. 
Posted by mlperkins12[/QUOTE]

I like this idea! People will probably appreciate snacks since desert is usually so close to dinner.

NOLAbridealmost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_last-minute-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:adf85b84-1fbc-4858-8982-b5f77ee3b7f1Post:fc73cf2e-2c3e-46e3-9bef-d9f8953b4f30">Re:Last Minute Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Last Minute Invites: Where have you been, friend? If you didn't invite every truly single guest with a plus one, you are within etiquette to call and say "Mary, we have a bit of extra room, would you like to bring someone?" Again, this is only if you invited truly single guests without the option of a plus one.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

<div>I was going to suggest this.  You can give <em>already invited guests</em> the option to bring an additional person.  Otherwise upgrade the food, drinks, add a course, add apps, add a late night snack, whatever. </div>

vantica

You mean not everyone already does this??  Lol.  Around here we call it a midnight lunch.  (Although we have to make sure we stop serving by midnight, so ours will be at 10ish.)  Can be whatever, but I will probably have buns and cheeses and cold cuts, fruits and veggies.  Maybe it's an italian thing, who knows.


In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_last-minute-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:adf85b84-1fbc-4858-8982-b5f77ee3b7f1Post:5c5d3254-a1e8-4d48-b2be-39db4e6ec513">Re: Last Minute Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not quite sure what type of wedding you are planning, but if I had a similar situation I would add some "late night" food for the partiers. 
Posted by mlperkins12[/QUOTE]

pkontk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_last-minute-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:adf85b84-1fbc-4858-8982-b5f77ee3b7f1Post:2e2eb85f-30d5-459e-bca2-090b16aef3e8">Re: Last Minute Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]I will be the dissenter here...... We were invited to a wedding last minute.  Our connection was....a friend of a friend of a friend.  The invitation was offered because we were interested in the band, venue, and food.  They knew that, and that is why they invited us.  I sent a nice note and small gift as a thank you but knew I was under NO obligation to send anything. At the same wedding, junior bridesmaid got to invite some of her high school friends, as "space" opened up.  I can't imagine any giggly high school kids were offended as well as sending a gift
Posted by IamTheMommaOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

To me, this seems more a case of 'check out the venue you are interested in using' than an actual last-minute invite.  Not the same thing IMO.

FormerlyAK

For my first wedding I was not allowed to invite a lot of friends. My parents paid for it and we had a ton of family to invite. I did call some of the girls I dance with about a week out and let them know that because we have such a large family we had to invite them before we could invite some of our friends, and now that we know which family members can and cannot make the trip, I'd be honored if they would attend. None of them cared that they were on the "B" list and they all accepted the last minute invites.

Similarly, I was a "B" list guest of a good friend of mine a few years ago. She called me with a similar story (had to invite family first ...), but she would love to have me there now that she knows which family members cannot make the trip. I accepted the invite and had a great time.

I see nothing wrong with it if you frame it this way and are honest.

lauraanne9

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_last-minute-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:adf85b84-1fbc-4858-8982-b5f77ee3b7f1Post:fc73cf2e-2c3e-46e3-9bef-d9f8953b4f30">Re:Last Minute Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Last Minute Invites: Where have you been, friend? If you didn't invite every truly single guest with a plus one, you are within etiquette to call and say "Mary, we have a bit of extra room, would you like to bring someone?" Again, this is only if you invited truly single guests without the option of a plus one.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

<div>I was just going to say this.  If there are people who were not given +1's, then add those in.  Also, are there family members who are somewhat remote/removed and were not invited?  A friend of mine had her mother call and invite friends of hers at the last minute...said it was a miscommunication and that she was supposed to have contacted them and sent them invitations, but somehow did not know about it.  As they were freinds of the MOB, there was not really any "wow you didn't care enough to invite me" but this only works if it is a few people, not 50.</div><div>
</div><div>The other option is the bar.  Can you increase the option of the bar to add other drinks?  That can up costs.</div>

KJB09

Thank you for all the responses. The venue had a minimim number of people, not a dollar amount. I did wind up asking a few people to invite plus ones and that covered it. Thanks for all your help!