Bridesmaid Issue

sjpeterson12

So, my wedding is 1 month away and one of my BMs and her husband separated last weekend. She now wants to bring her "boyfriend" to the wedding. I am torn because as a member of the wedding party she is entitled to being a guest, but she barely knows this guy - he is 16 years younger than her and will not know anyone at the wedding! I am not sure how to approach this situation in a diplomatic and tactful manner...

lizstill13

I would just explain that the invitation was issued to her and her husband and you would like to keep the wedding as close family and friends.

FutureMrsTR

Eh...she's probably feeling really vulnerable right now so if it were me I'd probably let it go.  And your wedding isn't the day to judge her choice of SO.  There really isn't any day for you to judge her SO.

polichik

Since your wedding is only one month away, and you were assuming that her husband would come, wouldn't you have the extra place already set aside?

If I were in the process of getting separated or divorced, I wouldn't want to be at a wedding alone. I understand that he might not be the best choice of date, but I'd just let it go. You won't even notice him there.

DanielleD7782

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-issue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae495017-2fe1-4a3d-ba63-138b3c612d50Post:78112201-e44d-447c-ae8f-4bbf775b4746">Re: Bridesmaid Issue</a>:
[QUOTE]Eh...she's probably feeling really vulnerable right now so if it were me I'd probably let it go.  And your wedding isn't the day to judge her choice of SO.  There really isn't any day for you to judge her SO.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

I agree. Just let her bring him. You already accounted for the plate anyways.

squirrly

Will the husband still be attending on his own?  If so, that will get awkward fast.  If not  - just let her bring the BF.  Less drama and crying for you to deal with between now and then.  However, in a month, she could be back with hubby.

tenofcups4me

Let her bring the boyfriend. You had the space allotted anyway, so what difference does it make?

SarahPLiz

Unless the husband is expected to be there as well, then I say let her bring who she wants. If the husband is a friend as well and will be there, then I'd stick with saying that the invitation was addressed to the 2 of them, so there isn't room for more guests.

FutureMrsTR

I never even considered the husband being there.  I figured if he was going to be the OP would have mentioned that because it's a HUGE piece of information, haha.  Yes, if he's going to be there I would tell her there's no room for extra guests.

xoxob

You should just let her bring him. A wedding is probably going to be a hard place for her to be.

NatandIsaac

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-issue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae495017-2fe1-4a3d-ba63-138b3c612d50Post:a892a711-9746-4ba2-bdaa-bb6b4cc954cd">Bridesmaid Issue</a>:
[QUOTE]So, my wedding is 1 month away and<strong> one of my </strong><strong>BMs and her husband separated last weekend</strong>. She now wants to bring her "boyfriend" to the wedding. I am torn because as a member of the wedding party she is entitled to being a guest, but she barely knows this guy - he is 16 years younger than her and will not know anyone at the wedding! I am not sure how to approach this situation in a diplomatic and tactful manner...
Posted by sjpeterson12[/QUOTE]

<div>Wait. Did I read this right? She and her husband separated last weekend and she already has a new boyfriend?! Whoa.</div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-issue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae495017-2fe1-4a3d-ba63-138b3c612d50Post:c219c8c5-48f7-4ae0-818e-b08e1b789157">Re: Bridesmaid Issue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Bridesmaid Issue : Wait. Did I read this right? She and her husband separated last weekend and she already has a new boyfriend?! Whoa.
Posted by NatandIsaac[/QUOTE]

Something tells me the boyfriend isn't someone who popped up in the last week.

sjpeterson12

Just to clarify, her husband will not be attending the wedding as he has agreed to watch their kids. As for the boyfriend, she has been seeing him for a month or so. I
'm going to allow her to bring her date for 2 reasons already mentioned in this thread: I don't want to judge her choices or get into her drama - it may be awkward for those who know her to see her with someone other than her husband, but that's not my issue. And, I have already allocated a place for her guest, so it's not my place to tell her who she can or cannot bring. Thanks for your feedback!

liziebennet

I too say let go.  You already had the seat reserved.  This must be a really difficult time for her.  Can you imagine being a bridesmaid to a close friend who is now getting ready to embark on the life she is losing?  Don't judge her, and be her friend by being supportive without having to make the day about her... do you really want an unhappy bridesmaid?  Not worth it.
Good luck!