Just so I know I'm not living in an alternate universe

melb2013

It is impolite to design and send your own bridal shower invitations, correct?

It is wrong to tell your bridesmaids that they are "not helping enough", correct?

One should never expect that bridesmaids throw them pre-wedding parties, correct?

And if the bridesmaids do decide to throw a shower or other party, you are not to get involved in any aspect of the planning, correct?

I think all these things are wrong, but I'm just verifying that I'm right and not completely crazy... 

Mrs.B6302007

Okay.  Spill the story. =-)

Simply Fated

You're not COMPLETELY crazy.

melb2013

I've posted on here before about a bride who's wedding I'm in...

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-this-rude-4

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-have-an-update

In the past few days, the whole situation has really boiled over... I think I'm going crazy

Mrs.B6302007

Oh! I remember those threads.  SHe's a mess.    How much longer until she walks down the aisle?

melb2013

4 months... I'm not sure I'm going to survive.  She's been emailing me a lot, and I'm not responding anymore.  Things have become so bad, that I'm not sure I'm going to go to the shower next month... 

Winnertag1

Bride is crazy, you arent! Hah

Mrs. B - I think she said the wedding isnt until November if I remember correctly, so still some time to go...

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-so-i-know-im-not-living-in-an-alternate-universe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:afb0bcc8-22d3-452f-8096-5fd4e33cd7c5Post:6f53291d-f5b6-4b2b-8d5e-9ec67cb32560">Re: Just so I know I'm not living in an alternate universe</a>:
[QUOTE]4 months... I'm not sure I'm going to survive.  She's been emailing me a lot, and I'm not responding anymore.  Things have become so bad, that I'm not sure I'm going to go to the shower next month... 
Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]


I'm making a prediction.  In the next couple of weeks, there will be a post about how "One of my BMs quit talking to me and totally blows me off when I text or email her 18 times a day and I'm not really asking THAT much of her so how do I tell her she's out of the wedding party and whom do I replace her with?" <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue Out" title="Tongue Out" />


 4 months?  Ugh.

melb2013

I wish she was on TK... then someone might set her straight... but she's not on here right now anyway.  4 months is going to seem like an eternity... 

starael

I just read all of the threads you posted, I'm so sorry you have to go through this! If you can, try to schedule a face-to-face conversation...there must be a reason that she asked you to be in her wedding party, and that you agreed to be in it, and perhaps she needs some perspective before she completely ruins her relationship with you and her other bridesmaids. Perhaps if you explain it in way where she can't avoid listening, she will actually hear reason and your side of the situation! I really do wish you the best of luck

sbc2013

Oh no. Don't tell me. She emailed the other bridesmaids?! 

melb2013

She invidually told her bridesmaids that they needed to help out more.  

Yesterday she threatened to email all her bridesmaids because she thinks they made me think that she was throwing her own shower... no... I know nobody offered... The reason she's doing most of the planning herself is because nobody ever offered to throw her the shower... but of course everybody else is paying, not her.

I did send her an email that said "for the love of god, do not email your bridesmaids and throw me under the bus.  I have to spend your wedding day with these girls, and I would prefer for it not to be uncomfortable"

sbc2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-so-i-know-im-not-living-in-an-alternate-universe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:afb0bcc8-22d3-452f-8096-5fd4e33cd7c5Post:fe883719-cced-4204-a6f8-7c77eccf62ec">Re: Just so I know I'm not living in an alternate universe</a>:
[QUOTE]She invidually told her bridesmaids that they needed to help out more.   Yesterday she threatened to email all her bridesmaids because she thinks they made me think that she was throwing her own shower... no... I know nobody offered... The reason she's doing most of the planning herself is because nobody ever offered to throw her the shower... but of course everybody else is paying, not her. <strong>I did send her an email that said "for the love of god, do not email your bridesmaids and throw me under the bus.  I have to spend your wedding day with these girls, and I would prefer for it not to be uncomfortable"</strong>
Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

<div>Way to go! I am so glad you sent that.</div>