Step Fathers and Step Mothers

LEA623

What is the etiquette with including Step parents in wedding day activities?  How about wedding gifts?  What if the "Step Mother" is not technically married to your Husband's father, but more a life partner?

We're not sure if we should be including my husband's step father in the suits for the wedding and if we should include his dad's girlfriend in the wedding hair, nails, makeup...and also if we should be getting them gifts just like we're doing for the bridal party and parents...thoughts?  What's appropriate?  What's the etiquette?

Thanks!

JessAndTrav

I don't know that there's an actual rule. I'd invite anyone that you'd like to be there for certain events, so long as you know that the peace can be kept between your mother and the step-mother as well as with the fathers.

ohwhynot

I think steps should be treated like bio-parents and that an unmarried life partner should be treated like a spouse.

What do you and your fiance think is appropriate under these circumstances, and why?

LesPaul

I vote for inclusion, unless there's a good reason not to.  Keeps everyone happy for the wedding, and builds the foundation for a better relationship w/ the parents and steps going forward. 

lauralaur

We included steps in everything, essentially treating them as biological parents. Both step-fathers wore tuxes, as did the fathers. My step-mother was escorted down the aisle as part of the processional, and my FIL's (now ex) girlfriend of five years was also escorted down the aisle. All were introduced at the reception. For parent gifts, we got a gift for each couple, so including steps didn't multiply the number of gifts to get.

This is what we felt was appropriate in our situation. We have good relationships with all steps and my step-parents have been around for over 10 years so I did not want to exclude them.

And rather than trying to list all parents on the invitation, or listing only the biological parents, or listing some but not others, we just put "Together with their parents."

duckie1905

We included DH's stepmom and stepdad in everything.  There was not reason to exclude them and they've been in his life for so long it seemed stupid to leave them out.

Unless there is a solid reason to leave them behind, include them in everything you would a biological parent.