Parent's future in-law's - invite and role in wedding

BHollis6

I've been engaged to be married for a year & a half.  I'm the MOB trying to help plan my daughters wedding, who has been away at college. I'm somewhat close to my fiance's parents, but we aren't married, and they don't know my daughter as well as me since she hasn't lived at home or been able to participate in his family gatherings.  So, do I include them in family pictures?  I don't want them to feel obligated to participate or get formal dress's or should I include them if they would like to?   Same question when it comes to corsage's & boutineers.  My daughter is ok either way, but I feel stuck, because we are trying to watch the budget.  Can someone out there help with what is the best route to take? 

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_parents-future-in-laws-invite-and-role-in-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0077413-3a62-4a4d-93a8-cf7f8b312f48Post:8f1302a5-5f93-41ef-9767-52f6eddc40cb">Re: Parent's future in-law's - invite and role in wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait. Are you engaged or is your daughter? I'm confused.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

Both.

I think it would be very weird to give them corsages/bouts. I would let your daughter decide if she wants them in pictures. Honestly, if they don't know her, I'm a little surprised you're inviting them at all.

pokepoke27

I wouldn't get them corsages or bouts - they're not HER grandparents. If you want a picture of them dressed up all nice (even if they don't get the same kind of formal dress you have, they'll still be more dressed up than usual) you could ask your daughter if she minds you asking the photographer to take a nice shot of them with you and FI or something. It's not in the formal pictures as in shots of the whole WP or anything, but you still have a nice high quality photo of them. 

Although honestly, these days you wouldn't even have to ask the photographer. You could just do it yourself. Most digital cameras have high enough MP for anything you're likely to print out. 

cosmogirlWed144626

I agree with the other posters....since they have no relationship to the bride (and barely know her), it's not appropriate or necessary to treat them differently from any other guests. 

egm900

I don't think getting them corsages/bouts is necessary, but I think it would be nice for your FI if you could take a picture of you, him, all of your and his children, and his parents since that is, or at least will be, his immediate family.

eureka30030

I agree with the above- bouts not really necessary but I would say at least including them in a pic or two would be very thoughtful. I went to my FI's brothers wedding last year and felt a little hurt that I wasn't asked to be in any of the pictures- it's like I was never even there. I didn't really expect to be in the pics b/c technically we aren't family but I've been dating my FI for nearly 8 years, we've lived together for 4, and have planned on getting married for years (just waiting on timing & $$). So, It would be a lovely gesture to include them in pics but it's not required- I got over not being included as 'part of the family' pretty quick... 

BHollis6

Thank you to everyone who answered my posting.  To hopefully answer the 1 main question you all asked, yes, my daughter & I are both engaged.  I've lived with my FI for 2 yrs now, been together for 5yrs.  

I appreciate everyone's advise on this!     Thanks again!