Family from out of town

Gentryw

My fiance's family is coming in from out of town for the wedding. He told me numerous times that they were coming in a few days before to visit. Now his mom says that they are staying for a few days after to visit. She said my fiance said we were putting off our honeymoon to visit with them. This is the first I have heard of this. Is it wrong for me to think that after the wedding we should be left alone to enjoy our new beginning together?

lyndausvi

In theory yes.   But if you do not see them often I dont see the harm.    I spent the last 5 days of my HM at my sister's and MIL's house.  We only see them once a year.  It was important to us to spend time with them. 

Jen4948

I don't think you're wrong.  I think your FI needs to clarify to his mother that you and he won't be available to host or entertain them after the wedding.

Gentryw

I guess my point was kind of lost in the first post. I think this is something my fiance should have discussed with me. Every conversation we had about it he said he wanted them to leave the next day or so. I feel ambushed a little that he was making other plans with his family and not keeping me in the loop.

misshart00

In Response to Re:Family from out of town:[QUOTE]I guess my point was kind of lost in the first post. I think this is something my fiance should have discussed with me. Every conversation we had about it he said he wanted them to leave the next day or so. I feel ambushed a little that he was making other plans with his family and not keeping me in the loop. Posted by Gentryw[/QUOTE]

He may still be on the same page as you. Was it your in laws that told her they are staying longer? He may be just as in the dark as you were.

strlzfan11

Did you actually hear that from thr horse's mouth?  it's possible his mother is just saying that without any factual basis.

strlzfan11

Did you actually hear that from the horse's mouth?  it's possible his mother is just saying that without any factual basis.

Kate61487

definitely have a conversation with him - he shouldn't be putting off your HM a few days without talking to you about it.  And as PP has said your FMIL might be talking out of her a** and saying what she WANTS her son to have said.

Either way you two need to talk and get on the same page so you can handle this jointly point forward.

I might have considered post-poning our HM a few days to catch up with family that I really truly NEVER saw, but it absolutely would have requried some planning and us being on the same page.  I don't know about you but I don't have unlimited vacation and I have to ask for it in advance; plus there are plane tickets to buy and hotel reservations to make.  most people can't just 'put off' their HM

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_family-from-out-of-town?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b021898d-3197-4ada-8355-f9b26faaff42Post:7a674b2e-e5e0-49c5-9d26-ac93e16ac547">Re: Family from out of town</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess my point was kind of lost in the first post. I think this is something my fiance should have discussed with me. Every conversation we had about it he said he wanted them to leave the next day or so. I feel ambushed a little that he was making other plans with his family and not keeping me in the loop.
Posted by Gentryw[/QUOTE]
Just ask him. This could be his mom talking out of her ass and just assuming he's going to stay. Or maybe it was an idea he threw around with her and hasn't really thought much about it so didn't bring it up to you.

lyndausvi

Before you get all upset ask him.   He might have just been thinking out loud and say something  like "we might leave a day or so later" (which is what you said he's been saying) when asked about the HM.  She could have misunderstood, heard what she wanted to hear or just thought it was firm plans.

nextrightthing

Yeah, talk to him about it before you get upset.

Jen4948

My previous post still stands in that I think you're not wrong to not want them there, but check with him first to find out if he still thinks you ought to be going away on the day after your wedding.  His mom could have it wrong.