My mom said, "Well, to be sure, ask your wedding friends."

temerityjane

Please, answer my mom's question:

Considering that there is absolutely NOTHING that can be done about it now, and there are zero other options aside from wait LONGER, is sending out my invitatations at 10 weeks going to be the absolute end of the world, with no one showing up for my wedding even though I sent Save the Dates with 6 months' notice? Since nothing can be done about it at this point, as we cannot TURN BACK THE HANDS OF TIME, is calling me every single day to fret about it the proper solution?

(I maye have slightly embellished my mother's question.)

crfische

Ya know, Teej. I don't think there's anything you can do about it, so it will be just fine.

CALM DOWN MAMA TEEJ.

temerityjane

Was the 2.5 month mark where everyone else's mother slid off the rails, or just mine?

mandysmear

Pretty sure, you'll be fine. 

baystateapple

Ten weeks is plenty of time.  Don't most people send them out at 8-6 weeks anyway?

Your mom needs to take a deep breath and RELAX.

danieliza1127

I'm not sure I even understand the question, but if the question is - can you send out invitations at 10 weeks?  Then the answer is of course you can!  You can also send them at 8 weeks, or even 6 weeks since you sent save the dates. 

CALM DOWN EVERYONE!

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-said-well-sure-ask-wedding-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b18ea787-3444-457f-a423-b2008ee6d283Post:88b9fb3d-2eb5-46ed-a0c1-5249dd7578b9">Re: My mom said, "Well, to be sure, ask your wedding friends."</a>:
[QUOTE]Was the 2.5 month mark where everyone else's mother slid off the rails, or just mine?
Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]

Oh please don't say that...we're about a week away from the 2.5 mark, and my mom's been so good thus far...

temerityjane

PS - my mom calls you guys my "wedding friends," in case that wasn't clear.

crfische

My mom was great until....the night of the grooms dinner. But we were only engaged for 3 months, so if we're talking about percentages of time, I suppose 2.5 seems about right.

temerityjane

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-said-well-sure-ask-wedding-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b18ea787-3444-457f-a423-b2008ee6d283Post:345beb3a-4191-4493-9ec9-81439c56ef5e">Re: My mom said, "Well, to be sure, ask your wedding friends."</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not sure I even understand the question, but if the question is - can you send out invitations at 10 weeks?  Then the answer is of course you can!  You can also send them at 8 weeks, or even 6 weeks since you sent save the dates.  CALM DOWN EVERYONE!
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

I think 10 weeks is just fine. My mom keeps calling me EVERY DAY to say "You know, you're cutting it awfully close at 10 weeks!" (yet not moving on getting me the addresses/significant other names I need). As if I could somehow send them out SOONER than that, because she thinks it's cutting it close.

Like I'm going to say, "You're right mom, let me find my flux capacitor, get this delorean moving, and head on back to July! That should solve it!"

danieliza1127

Oh pshaw, you're not cutting it close at all!  10 weeks is actually the earliest anyone should send them out, IMHO.

And I'll gladly be your "wedding friend" TJ. 

crfische

ONE POINT TWENTY ONE GIGAWATTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

georgia_bride09

Actually, if I received your invitation ten weeks before your wedding instead of the obligatory eight weeks, I'd probably forget about your wedding since my attention span couldn't handle trying to remember it for two extra weeks. I think you're up Shiit Creek without a paddle, sweets. Wait, are you getting married? I don't recall.

ohwhynot

If anything, that's early.  You're going to be absolutely fine, and your Mom will be, too.  Tell her your wedding friends said so. 

(My H would ask me to ask the board stuff, too).

mandapanda78

Yes TJ, you can now tell your mother that your "wedding friends" have officially told her to have a nice shot of whiskey and take a deep breath. Everything's going to be fiiiiiiine. 

temerityjane

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-said-well-sure-ask-wedding-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b18ea787-3444-457f-a423-b2008ee6d283Post:eaf80a76-6d0e-4fa6-aed3-e2ab1ca50e8f">Re: My mom said, "Well, to be sure, ask your wedding friends."</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh pshaw, you're not cutting it close at all!  10 weeks is actually the earliest anyone should send them out, IMHO. And I'll gladly be your "wedding friend" TJ.  :)
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

That's what I keep TELLING her. 10 weeks is NORMAL. Plus, I sent out Save the Dates. Plus, almost EVERYONE is IN TOWN or IN the wedding. PLUS, a large majority of the out of town people already have hotel reservations!

"But still, you're cutting it kind of close..."

temerityjane

(Don't tell my mom, but to get them out at 10 weeks, I'd need them done by Saturday. That is... probably not happening.)

crfische

In other news, OWN, have I told you how pretty you looked on your wedding day? Cuz you did. And your husband looks darn good, too.

georgia_bride09

Oh, she thinks that's too late? Yeah, well, I've already made plans for whatever weekend that is. Should have gotten me the invitation sooner!! It's not like a single person had to churn them all out with custom specifications!

vallyhoo

Georgia is sassy

ohwhynot

Aw, thanks, Fishy.  That's very sweet. 

nhelene

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-said-well-sure-ask-wedding-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b18ea787-3444-457f-a423-b2008ee6d283Post:2717df7b-4814-4cc5-935a-efeb6000e86b">Re: My mom said, "Well, to be sure, ask your wedding friends."</a>:
[QUOTE]PS - my mom calls you guys my "wedding friends," in case that wasn't clear.
Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]

I love it.   

I sent mine out at the 2-month mark thinking that was 8 weeks, but it was actually 9.  You're fine. 

mica178

My mom lost it soon after we announced our engagement and hasn't shown signs of regaining it yet.

10 weeks is early, especially if you already sent out STDs.  My FMIL freaked out the same way since all of her family/friends are OOT (and not all received STDs), so I sent them out at 10 weeks too.

Beachy730

Like everyone else said, you are definitely fine to send them out at 10 weeks, or 8 or 6.  My mom wasn't worried about when the wedding invites went out, but she did want the shower invites to go out earlier. 

As for when my mom started to worry about everything, it was probably about 2 1/2 months or so out.  She planned my shower (that's how its done in my area, I don't think I've ever actually been to a shower not thrown by the mother) which was about 7 weeks before the wedding, so she was freaking out about things with the shower first.  I couldn't wait for the shower to be over so she would relax.  Once that ended though, she moved onto the RD.  I remember her getting mad at me that I didn't want to go shopping for the beer and wine and stuff for the RD 3 weeks before it!  Everytime I would tell her mom don't worry we have it under control, she would say I'm waiting til the last minute for everythng and am gonna screw myself.  I do have to say though that the week of the wedding she was very calm and relaxed about everything.  I think she finally realized how organized I was with everything and that it was getting done. 

saisongbird

You're fine. The world won't end.

tiffersnc

You're fine. 10 weeks is plenty of time. I'd get irritated if it were more than that, honestly, because I don't want to have to keep up with your invitation for that long. And, honestly, I probably wouldn't. I'd probably lose it. And wind up frantically realizing I lost it that day. No one wants that. Tell your mom to breathe.

On a related note, all your people talking about mom's going crazy at about 2.5 months out is not cool. My mom called me at nine months saying, "You and FI are going to give me a HEART ATTACK. You don't have your save the dates out yet!!!" Oy - sounds like I have a long road ahead of me.

sarabellam

I got lucky, in that my mom didn't get any more nutso during the wedding planning process than she normally is. Probably had something to do with the fact that she's done this so many times before; my brother is on his 3rd marriage, this is my 2nd, and my sister JOP'ed it with a vow renewal a year later in my BIL's church. Yeah, for that one she made the "wedding" dress, a BM dress, 2 FG dresses, and unique antique lace collars to go on 3 more dresses. Yeah, she was just a bit busy for that one.

Oh yeah, 10 weeks is ample time.

kikibaby

I suggest you prepare your time machine.  Everyone knows invites should go out no later than 3 years before the wedding date. 

jnic0319

Haha, I have the opposite problem.  I want to send mine at 10 weeks because I made my RSVP date 4 weeks ahead of time (2 weeks to catch stragglers before I have to hand in the final count).  I am just hitting the 2.5 mark and she's started.  She wants me to send mine at 6 weeks, which only gives people 2 to RSVP that to me looks like they were B-listed.  Mothers need to just calm down.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

My mom was/is crazy - she thinks I should send my invitations at 4 weeks. WTF. This isn't 1979 anymore, mom. I sent them at 9 weeks and called her and she said, "Well, it's your wedding." WTF. I actually had a few people asking about them in the last few weeks and everyone has been really excited to get them over the past few days. No one's complained that it's too early.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mom-said-well-sure-ask-wedding-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b18ea787-3444-457f-a423-b2008ee6d283Post:5f27d07c-daa7-47e3-9cdc-f309bc17d9b9">Re: My mom said, "Well, to be sure, ask your wedding friends."</a>:
[QUOTE](Don't tell my mom, but to get them out at 10 weeks, I'd need them done by Saturday. That is... probably not happening.)
Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]

Maybe send your mom's out on Saturday? I considered holding my mom's invitation, but with my luck, her cousin will call her and talk about how he loved the invitation before I put her's in the mail.