Where do I get married?...HELP!

bbear00

I am having a hard time deciding where to have our wedding.  I grew up in Upstate New York and all of my family still lives there.  My fiance grew up in Cinncinati and all of his family lives there.  We now both live in Denver.  Where do we get married?  I want to be involved in the planning which will be hard to do in NY but I don't want family to spend a lot on travelexpenses to come to Denver.  What do I do?!

ahhhitsshannyn

I say price check around in each location and see what places suit you better. There is probably nothing that anyone here can do to help you choose where you should get married, that is something that needs to be decided between you, your FI, and your families. Good luck.

baystateapple

I would say at this point it would be "most fair" to everyone to come out there to Denver.  That is where you are making your life now.  No matter where you have the wedding, someone is going to have to travel -- more like someone's whole family is going to have to travel.  I would do it in Denver.  It will be easiest for you.

MattsPenguin

*Cincinnati (check your spelling, YWIA)

Shannon has a good point of checking on the prices.  My guess is that Cincinnati will be cheaper than New York (said as a person having a wedding in Cincinnati but living in Boston).  

Also, would it be easier for your family to travel from New York or his to travel from the 'Nati?    I don't think that planning a wedding long distance has been too terribly stressful.  I've gotten most of it done in 2-3 visits.  I also hired a wedding planner specifically to make recommendations of vendors, since I didn't really know all of the choices and couldn't meet with many people.

Wiscisbliss

I had a similar problem.  No matter where the wedding was held, it was going to be an inconveniece for more than half of the guests.  I chose to have the wedding where we live since it was esier for me to plan.  No choice is right or wrong, just do what is most comfortable for your and your FI. 

SparrowSong

You could do a destination wedding to the Caribbean. Since so many will have to travel anyway, might as well make it a fun destination for everyone. Otherwise, I think I'd probably do Cincinnati because that would make the travel a little easier on those who do have to travel, plus is probably a less expensive area for you then NY. And then I'd pick a venue to pretty much takes care of the whole package so you aren't having to coordinate 15 different vendors long distance. Or get a planner so they can deal with all the details for you.

Calypso1977

denver.  its where youve made your life together.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'm from Buffalo and my H is from Boston. We have tons and friends and family all over the country, though. Since no one location was dominant, we got married where we live now, which is Los Angeles. It was more expensive than getting married in Buffalo, for sure, but it was convenient for planning purposes. And also it forced our families to come visit.

kyurcek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_marriedhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b1f339c8-812d-4efc-bc17-f86c7300c36bPost:894615b3-b783-41c5-98a6-f45c012d4d18">Re: Where do I get married?...HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a similar problem.  No matter where the wedding was held, it was going to be an inconveniece for more than half of the guests.  I chose to have the wedding where we live since it was esier for me to plan.  No choice is right or wrong, just do what is most comfortable for your and your FI. 
Posted by Wiscisbliss[/QUOTE]

I agree w/this.  We're in Denver Metro right now too, but planning for a wedding in WI.  It sucks.  I think if people are going to have to travel either way, do it in Denver.  Also, there are so many pretty places around here, <em>and</em> you'll probably end up saving a lot of money!

jessicabessica

My immediate family is in CT and my FI's family is in Washington, we live in Maine.  No matter what, people would need to travel, and we decided to get married in Maine (although closer to Portland than where we live to make travel a little bit easier and cheaper). 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_marriedhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b1f339c8-812d-4efc-bc17-f86c7300c36bPost:5c838e11-6846-4031-a61d-9c46536fc777">Re: Where do I get married?...HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Where do I get married?...HELP! : I agree w/this.  We're in Denver Metro right now too, but planning for a wedding in WI.  It sucks.  I think if people are going to have to travel either way, do it in Denver.  Also, there are so many pretty places around here, <strong>and you'll probably end up saving a lot of money!</strong>
Posted by kyurcek[/QUOTE]

I think Denver is the most expensive of her options, but maybe not by much. (Upstate NY and Ohio = LCOL.) But the convenience is awesome. Then again, many people here have planned weddings from afar and been fine. But lie Calypso said, I also wanted to have our wedding in the place that was our home, and where my husband and I met and formed our life together.

annakb8

I'm from Orlando, my FI is from Pensacola, and we live in DC so we had a similar issue. We eliminated Pensacola immediately because it is really expensive to fly there since it's just a regional airport. DC and Orlando are both very accessable, but having a wedding in would have cost at least twice as much so we went with Orlando. So far I've only been home twice and planning from a distance isn't too bad. I'm trying to keep my wedding very simple though so I don't have to worry about the planning too much.

kyurcek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_marriedhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b1f339c8-812d-4efc-bc17-f86c7300c36bPost:a7816dac-158a-4e10-8fe7-87fe92ffd718">Re: Where do I get married?...HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Where do I get married?...HELP! : <strong>I think Denver is the most expensive of her options, but maybe not by much.</strong> (Upstate NY and Ohio = LCOL.) But the convenience is awesome. Then again, many people here have planned weddings from afar and been fine. But lie Calypso said, I also wanted to have our wedding in the place that was our home, and where my husband and I met and formed our life together.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

You may be right in that... I was just thinking along the lines of if guests have to travel farther, maybe not as many will come.  My sister also lives out here, and we're from MN (and my BIL is ND), and it was cheaper to have their wedding in Denver vs. there because so many less people came.     

waitingformay

We live in a different place than each of our families but since my parents are helping out a ton (money and planning), we're having the wedding in their town. If I had to plan everything myself, I would have to do it where I live otherwise it would be too much. If one side is contributing a lot, they may prefer to have it where they live. Just something to consider. 

nickles26

I am right there with you.  We live in Fort Collins, but my FI and I are from Upstate NY.  While I would LOVE to do the wedding here, we decided to go with Upstate.  I figured the wedding is for people to attend, and our families don't really have a lot of money, so we figured we would go to them.  We also have super supportive and helpful friends and family that have offered help in planning and running around for us.  BUT, if I knew that my family could afford to come out here, I would totally plan the event in Colorado, hands down. 

So, just thought I would offer a fellow Upstater-now-Coloradoan's perspective!  Good luck and Congrats! 

emyinpink

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_marriedhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b1f339c8-812d-4efc-bc17-f86c7300c36bPost:894615b3-b783-41c5-98a6-f45c012d4d18">Re: Where do I get married?...HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a similar problem.  No matter where the wedding was held, it was going to be an inconveniece for more than half of the guests.  I chose to have the wedding where we live since it was esier for me to plan.  No choice is right or wrong, just do what is most comfortable for your and your FI. 
Posted by Wiscisbliss[/QUOTE]

<div>This is what we did as well.</div>

Truffle2011

FI and I also live in Colorado, but FI's family is from IN/DE and mine is from OH/AR.  We chose to have it in Ohio because a) family (including extended) is important to us and its a drivable, central location for most (CO would have cut our attendance in half), and b) its near Lake Erie, so those that travel are coming to a nice location that they can make a touristy/family trip out of it as well (though CO would have been this as well).  We personally like when we're traveling for a wedding, somewhere that can also be fun besides the wedding and making the trip/$ spent extra worth it is a great bonus  Also, c) we won't necessarily remain in Colorado in a few years, and thought having the memories of our wedding where our families are seemed nicer to us (example, getting married in the church I grew up in).

We also gave ourselves two years to plan, booking our venues at 1.5 years out.  On about 4 trips home over that time we've basically covered everything and it really hasn't been too stressful.

There are lots of things to consider, and it really depends on your preferences, ability to travel to plan, and budget.  I have friends who were recently in a similar situation as us (From NC and live in CO) and they chose to have the wedding in March in Estes Park.  It was essentially a DW for everyone but them, so they were able to plan it in 7 months and everyone who came out for it could ski/spends time in the mountains and such.  The probably only had <50% of their guestlist come however.

thesequel

We ran into the same problem.  We checked around in each of the three cities and ended up finding a beautiful art museum in my hometown.  His mom was/is not happy that her family has to travel, but the only place to have a venue that held more than 50 people was one banquet hall where EVERYONE in the town (pretty small) gets married.  C has attended 11 weddings there and said that he wasn't willing to have the reception there.

Look at the budget and also see what you can find in each city/area.  That's how we decided.