Engagement party

carolstevens6

We're planning an engagement party about 10 months before the actual wedding. Because of its timing we won't know precisely how many people we can invite to the wedding at the time of the engagement party. Is it tacky to invite people to a nice engagement dinner party to meet and celebrate the couple -- if some of the invitees might not make the final cut for receiving an invite to the wedding?

Habs2Hart

Who's throwing the engagement party for you?

HandBanana

Yes.  Anyone invited to pre-wedding parties should also be invited to the wedding.  Similar to the rules about persons invited to the shower.

Also, you aren't suppose to throw your own engagement party.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b235eab3-eb52-4e29-9079-f044cb88c28dPost:20fa66ec-5bed-447a-a765-759f041480d1">Engagement party</a>:
[QUOTE]We're planning an engagement party about 10 months before the actual wedding. Because of its timing we won't know precisely how many people we can invite to the wedding at the time of the engagement party. Is it tacky to invite people to a nice engagement dinner party to meet and <strong>celebrate the couple -- if some of the invitees might not make the final cut for receiving an invite to the wedding?</strong>
Posted by carolstevens6[/QUOTE]
You shouldn't be planning your own engagement party. It's pretty self centered to throw a party to celebrate yourself.

And yes, if you invite someone to an engagement party (or any prewedding party for that matter) they need to be invited to the wedding.

hlq2011

The size of your guest list will be first and foremost determined by the host, which won't be you because you don't host your own engagement party.  So ask the host how many people they can afford to host, and go from there.

Only invite those people who you know will be invited to the wedding.  If there's a chance someone won't make the cut, they don't get an invite.

Invited to e-party = invited to wedding.

carolstevens6

parents of the groom (my fiance)

carolstevens6

parents of the groom (my fiance) are throwing the party to introduce the two families, groups of friends

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b235eab3-eb52-4e29-9079-f044cb88c28dPost:20fa66ec-5bed-447a-a765-759f041480d1">Engagement party</a>:
[QUOTE]We're planning an engagement party about 10 months before the actual wedding. Because of its timing we won't know precisely how many people we can invite to the wedding at the time of the engagement party. <strong>Is it tacky to invite people to a nice engagement dinner party to meet and celebrate the couple -- if some of the invitees might not make the final cut for receiving an invite to the wedding?
</strong>Posted by carolstevens6[/QUOTE]

Yes, it is tacky & rude. Do not let the host invite anyone that will not be invited to the wedding. Plusalso, you do not host/ throw your own E party (That is horribly tacky & rude too).

edit: sorry (didn't see the last post) so forget I wrote the third sentence.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b235eab3-eb52-4e29-9079-f044cb88c28dPost:c6ea0747-47c5-4343-9fa2-ed29f001daa9">Re: Engagement party</a>:
[QUOTE]parents of the groom (my fiance)
Posted by carolstevens6[/QUOTE]

Oh really? the groom is your fiance?

SirJuliusVonHaast

Definitely be careful . . . I want to kill FI for all of the people he added to the list for the host of our E party (without checking with me). Some of them I really would not have invited to the wedding, but now we have to. 

tenofcups4me

Only invite those people you're sure are going to be invited to the wedding.

aragx6

There's no reason the engagement party can't be a rather intimate affair, so I would work with FI's parents to formulate a guest list of close family and friends who you know will be invited to the wedding.

[Deleted User]

Ditto pp.

Anyone invited to the e-party must be invited to the wedding.

LDYGTR13

Oh and think to yourself - what if YOU were invited to a celebration that two people are gonna have a party in a few months - and then you weren't invited to said party.

Would you be a little peeved? I know I would be.

GOOD LUCK!

Habs2Hart

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b235eab3-eb52-4e29-9079-f044cb88c28dPost:9b9b521e-6cb6-4f97-9c59-04341f269da5">Re: Engagement party</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh and think to yourself - what if YOU were invited to a celebration that two people are gonna have a party in a few months - and then you weren't invited to said party. Would you be a little peeved? I know I would be. <strong>GOOD LUCK!
</strong>Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

KA would be proud

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b235eab3-eb52-4e29-9079-f044cb88c28dPost:42ef6a48-ca3a-4abe-b0bf-4efe78667935">Re: Engagement party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engagement party : KA would be proud
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

Gotta keep her happy. I'm thinking about throwing my hat in the ring to be the Mississippi mod...but I dont think KA likes me =(

carolstevens6

uh, yes.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b235eab3-eb52-4e29-9079-f044cb88c28dPost:98c4613c-5195-4e24-9e7b-b3143d911313">Re: Engagement party</a>:
[QUOTE]uh, yes.
Posted by carolstevens6[/QUOTE]

uh, no?

Habs2Hart

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b235eab3-eb52-4e29-9079-f044cb88c28dPost:36e484bd-1328-4798-9fb8-ff752e37da7e">Re: Engagement party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engagement party : uh, no?
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

YES DAMMIT

LDYGTR13

I'M SO CONFUSED! OP, there's a "quote" link down there. I suggest you use it. I don't know what "uh, yes" is about, thus why I messed with you. FIGURE IT OUT.

hlq2011

I think that was to you, LDY, clarifying that, yes indeedy, the groom is her fiance.

LDYGTR13

That's some super clarification. Thanks, hlq! (the poster who told me that "uh, yes" was to me, just to clarify)

OP, are you sure the "groom" is your fiance? - could this groom perhaps be someone else that you just happen to call groom ?

mica178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b235eab3-eb52-4e29-9079-f044cb88c28dPost:588013ff-52c8-43f6-9e52-4ca28d5ee3ce">Re: Engagement party</a>:
[QUOTE]The size of your guest list will be first and foremost determined by the host, which won't be you because you don't host your own engagement party.  So ask the host how many people they can afford to host, and go from there. <strong>Only invite those people who you know will be invited to the wedding.  If there's a chance someone won't make the cut, they don't get an invite. Invited to e-party = invited to wedding.
</strong>Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]

This.  100%.  I can't say it better, so I won't.

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b235eab3-eb52-4e29-9079-f044cb88c28dPost:432ec30c-6ed0-470a-9569-b5b992aa326b">Re: Engagement party</a>:
[QUOTE]parents of the groom (my fiance) are throwing the party to introduce the two families, groups of friends
Posted by carolstevens6[/QUOTE]

Well from the sounds of your post, if only family/close friends are being invited to the e-party then you I don't see why this is an issue. You'd typically invite those people to the wedding anyway.

But to answer your OP, anyone invited to a pre-wedding party has to be invited tot he actual wedding.

dannie134

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b235eab3-eb52-4e29-9079-f044cb88c28dPost:dabfe899-1311-4e80-8769-5f0f4bbcf094">Re: Engagement party</a>:
[QUOTE]At ten months out, most people have a budget and a venue booked so they know how many people to invite to the wedding.  If you're not sure about your exact circumstances, only invite the absolute definite must invites.  If you're thinking of eloping or going crazy small, your engagement party will have to be equally tiny.
Posted by katelynbrian[/QUOTE]


Maybe "most people" have already figured all that out - I wasn't even engaged yet at 10 months.  If they just got engaged, maybe they don't have the budget figured out yet - but either way OP you need to play it safe to make sure you don't over-invite and commit yourself to something you can't afford.