Help with bridesmaids

mdb09b

Ok so I asked five girls to be my bridesmaids about six months ago right after I got engaged. At that point we were trying to keep our party to a decent size so there were a couple girls I didn't ask that I am still very close to. Instead of "will you be my bridesmaid cards", I made them all these boxes with bios of all the girls and pictures of wedding inspiration, etc.  Our best friends got married two weeks ago and they had 8 bridesmaids and 8 groomsmen. We thought they were crazy at first but they whole week before the wedding was a blast with so many people hanging out together so we decided to go ahead and add the others that we wanted. So we added 2 new girls and guys. I haven't sent the new girls their boxes yet and my sister (matron of honor) posted pictures of the boxes and their contents on our bridesmaid facebook page. I don't know what to do now because it was going to be a surprise for them just like it had been all the other girls but now they've seen it all. I don't want them to feel like an afterthought but I kind of wanted all the girls to have the same thing. I'm stuck... I have been throwing around ideas of making them something completely different or perhaps the same box just with something special inside but I'm not sure. What should I do?

P.S. I'm not going to lie to them and make it seem like those were only for the maid and matron of honor. (that was already suggested lol)

aragx6

So I'm confused -- have you asked these new people to be in the wedding yet or not?

Summer2011Bride

You have a bridesmaids' FB page?

How far until your wedding and how long has it been since you asked the "original" BMs?

mdb09b

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-with-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b2b25dfd-b31f-4efb-b8ac-88782aa0106cPost:7e96ae31-5261-48b4-8ba7-16f597803a45">Re: Help with bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]So I'm confused -- have you asked these new people to be in the wedding yet or not?
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes and they have already said yes but since it was more like an actual gift than just a card I still wanted to make them one. </div>

mdb09b

Yeah its just like a group page. It's been 6 months and our wedding is Dec 31.

mdb09b

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-with-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b2b25dfd-b31f-4efb-b8ac-88782aa0106cPost:58442623-b525-475c-b703-62cf418d53d6">Re:Help with bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help with bridesmaids: Make them their boxes now and hope they aren't offended. That's really all I got. I am truly wondering what a FB group for a wedding looks like, and thinking this will not be the end of trouble or awkwardness caused by it, honestly.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>I mean if you have ever been a part of a facebook group it's pretty simple. It's just a page where I can post information or pictures and they can all see it and comment and talk with each other about things. I've been in tons of weddings in the past couple years and facebook pages have made it really convenient. Other than the current issue I'm not sure how they could be a problem unless you are deliberately leaving some of the girls out. </div>

LeiselEB

I would just make them the boxes and give it to them. You can say something like "I'm sorry this wasn't a surprise, but I still wanted you to have this gift". I think they'd appreciate it, and I don't think they'd mind they were asked later than others since the wedding is still far away. I asked all my bridesmaids at different times and it was not a problem.

HandBanana

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-with-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b2b25dfd-b31f-4efb-b8ac-88782aa0106cPost:edb9fc90-acf5-4686-af5c-56b8082c04a4">Re:Help with bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Help with bridesmaids : I mean if you have ever been a part of a facebook group it's pretty simple. It's just a page where I can post information or pictures and they can all see it and comment and talk with each other about things. I've been in tons of weddings in the past couple years and facebook pages have made it really convenient. Other than the current issue I'm not sure how they could be a problem unless you are deliberately leaving some of the girls out. 
Posted by mdb09b[/QUOTE]

I think she means more what is the point and what the heck would be the content.

Group emails can do the same thing and are private instead of an exclusive Facebook group that pretty much looks like a high school cool girls clique.

mdb09b

Ok wow thanks for the complete waste of my time Im asking for help with a particular problem not for your opinion on Facebook. It is private first of all so there won't be an issue with seeming like a girls clique although im not sure why that would matter plus thats kind of what bridesmaids are anyway. It is also for whatever i want it to be for so im not sure why you would care how much content is on it, its not like it took me hours to make. It takes about thirty seconds to make and yes it is a lot like a group email only this way i dont have to worry about people hitting reply instead of reply all. The girls can also get to know each other a little better this way. I dont know what you're doing on facebook but I've never accidentally posted something i didn't want other people to see but maybe thats because i dont say mean things about people or post things im embarrassed of. On top of that i dont know what kind of bridesmaids you have but i dont have any that would stop being my friend because i clicked the wrong button. It seems that you are pretty wary of drama which is strange because you're the one causing it with someone you dont know because you felt like being critical instead of using the forum the way it was meant to be used: to help other brides come up with creative solutions to problems.

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-with-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b2b25dfd-b31f-4efb-b8ac-88782aa0106cPost:3b93c59d-ad67-47e1-87bf-7b655b577b63">Re:Help with bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok wow thanks for the complete waste of my time Im asking for help with a particular problem not for your opinion on Facebook. It is private first of all so there won't be an issue with seeming like a girls clique although im not sure why that would matter plus thats kind of what bridesmaids are anyway. It is also for whatever i want it to be for so im not sure why you would care how much content is on it, its not like it took me hours to make. It takes about thirty seconds to make and yes it is a lot like a group email only this way i dont have to worry about people hitting reply instead of reply all. The girls can also get to know each other a little better this way. I dont know what you're doing on facebook but I've never accidentally posted something i didn't want other people to see but maybe thats because i dont say mean things about people or post things im embarrassed of. On top of that i dont know what kind of bridesmaids you have but i dont have any that would stop being my friend because i clicked the wrong button. It seems that you are pretty wary of drama which is strange because you're the one causing it with someone you dont know because you felt like being critical instead of using the forum the way it was meant to be used: to help other brides come up with creative solutions to problems.
Posted by mdb09b[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I don't find the Facebook thing offensive as long as it's private--I do think it's a bummer that your one BM already posted the contents of the box there, though.</div><div>
</div><div>I'd vote that you send the two new girls things that are totally different and completely personalized--it's really all I've got to make them not feel second string (which they are by definition).</div>