Wedding shower for those not invited to wedding

Somerrae

My fiance and I are getting married about 2 weeks before we move to the other side of the country. We are having a small wedding consisting of mostly out-of-town family, but would love to celebrate with local friends and co-workers before we move. 

We won't have much time to have any kind of going away party after the wedding. We were talking about having a party about a month before the wedding and inviting everyone that we would have loved to invite to the wedding, but couldn't. 

I know that you generally don't invite people to a shower that aren't invited to the wedding, but bould it be okay to make it kind of the like a wedding shower with the typical games and whatnot? I won't be having a bridal shower, but still want to partake in goofy pre-wedding games.

Thanks for any insight. (:

Knottie_22386269

If they're not invited to the wedding, don't invite them to a shower. Besides, it's also rude to throw your own shower. Just throw an awesome party but don't make it about the wedding.

daubachsgirl23

Like PPs said, have an awesome going away party.  Don't make it about your wedding at all.

SummerGrl15

Agreed.  Don't make it a shower.  You will come off as gift grabby.  While  I understand wanting to celebrate with friends and co-workers, a shower is not the way to go.  Have an awesome going away party instead.  Some of the people at the going away party may want to celebrate your upcoming nuptials at the party.  If they want to do that, that's fine, but you shouldn't plan for it to be about the wedding.

misssunshine17

No, no, no. It's very tacky.

Knottie_22382102

I like the going away party idea

TheBaysideBride

Love the going away party idea, and agree, don't make it about the wedding

AJuliaNJ

I may be simplifying things here. I'm not working with a lot of detail, but if you have the funds to throw a wedding and you have the funds to throw a going away party, plus you would have liked to invite these people, why don't you just have one party (the wedding) and invite everyone?

You can't invite people to any wedding-related parties unless they are invited to the wedding. The exception is if the co-workers you mentioned throw you a surprise shower at work.

Somerrae

Thank you for the responses.

To add more details and answer some questions, my fiance and I wouldn't actually be hosting the party/inviting. My MOH would be hosting the actual party, but we would obviously be providing the guest list. As mentioned, our actual wedding is small and composed of mostly out-of-state guests, thus leaving a very minimal list of those who would be able to attend a shower. 

We're not looking for gifts. We just figured that having a gathering shortly before our wedding would be turned wedding related by our guests, so why not go that direction to begin with. Though I do understand how it could be construded as an attempt to be greedy.

To the person who suggested just inviting all of our co-workers and local friends to the wedding, I'm sorry, but that is just silly. We intentionally planned a small, intimate wedding for a reason. While we would love to celebrate with everyone we know, it isn't the kind of ceremony we want. And while our decision was not based on budget, rarely would a shower/going away party have the same per guest cost as a wedding. 

AJuliaNJ

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-shower-for-those-not-invited-to-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b327b6e1-e75b-4688-bd9a-a4a9223bec70Post:00f1185e-a1e1-40db-b04d-cd7b22710672">Re: Wedding shower for those not invited to wedding</a>:
[QUOTE] To the person who suggested just inviting all of our co-workers and local friends to the wedding, I'm sorry, but that is just silly. We intentionally planned a small, intimate wedding for a reason. While we would love to celebrate with everyone we know, it isn't the kind of ceremony we want. And while our decision was not based on budget, rarely would a shower/going away party have the same per guest cost as a wedding. 
Posted by Somerrae[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks! I'm glad you think I'm silly. Go ahead and have your shower for people that are not invited to the wedding. That idea is not silly at all. </div>