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Uuugh why are my friends so damn tacky??

In the past week, I have gotten invitations to TWO stag and doe/jack and jill parties - with the specific tag line in the face book event group "Let's help them out by raising money for there Wedding Day!"

NO!! What ever happened to saving up the money yourself and creating the budget you can afford. What is going on?

Out of my own moral obligation to myself I have to decline these, Im going to be questioned why and look like an ass if I say my real reasons but seriously. Is it so hard to just save your own damn money for your own damn wedding without expecting to fundraise off your friends AND expect gifts after the fact?

This is a vent/rant/question thing.
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Re: Uuugh why are my friends so damn tacky??

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    Oh not to mention my one friend "invited" nearly everybody we went to highschool with that she knows on facebook, even though i know she doesnt see/talk to them... and they probably arent even invited to the wedding.
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    Please tell me they also misspelled "their."  Because that would be awesome.
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    Ugh, yeah, I would decline too.  FI brought up the dollar dance again last week and I was like umm.....no.  Just no. Not necessary.
    Crosswalk
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    I copy and pasted that, I didnt notice that spelling error but I did notice two others on there.
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    what are these parties? i swear between this and the "dollar dance" certain parts of the country need to get slapped in the face.
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    Lord. Some people really corner the market on Tacky.

    Just be honest if you are asked. Tell her you feel awkward attending a wedding fundraiser, especially as you are tapped financially since paying for your own wedding and giving to valid charities.
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    Pirata

    Im new to the boards and really anything to do with weddings. What is a dollar dance?
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    What are you saying you DONT KNOW psichick? Thats a first...

    They are parties where you charge for tickets to get in, then for drinks, then to play games and what not. The object is to fundraise money for the couple. Generally they make a couple thousand if they charge high enough.
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    Do you think FI and I could have  a Jack and Jill shower to pay for a new car?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uuugh-friends-damn-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b3bcf50f-14f9-4f1a-9462-35203c5d8c2bPost:479916d2-d8b3-4227-951c-a8df5a22942d">Re: Uuugh why are my friends so damn tacky??</a>:
    [QUOTE]What are you saying you DONT KNOW psichick? Thats a first... They are parties where you charge for tickets to get in, then for drinks, then to play games and what not. The object is to fundraise money for the couple. Generally they make a couple thousand if they charge high enough.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

    that's what i didn't know. i've never heard of these parties before. that's kinda rediculous actually.
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    Theyre extremely common here, because the general population of Southern Ontario are greedy A-holes who dont know how to budget or something.
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    Aw, psichick can't spell ridiculous.  Guess they don't teach that in grad school.

    And yes, I LOVE the spelling error in the invite!  It's just the cherry on top.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uuugh-friends-damn-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b3bcf50f-14f9-4f1a-9462-35203c5d8c2bPost:45aabe0b-ec81-4602-9aec-e2018c4a63f2">Re: Uuugh why are my friends so damn tacky??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Theyre extremely common here, <strong>because the general population of Southern Ontario are greedy A-holes</strong> who dont know how to budget or something.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

    That's a huge generalization you're making there.
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    Yes, and I could say that all New Yorkers are all assholes and think they're more important than everyone else.  Of course that doesn't apply to everyone. 

    Chill.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uuugh-friends-damn-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b3bcf50f-14f9-4f1a-9462-35203c5d8c2bPost:e37a41d9-e077-45f7-88e1-91bf7f4d35e5">Re: Uuugh why are my friends so damn tacky??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Aw, psichick can't spell ridiculous.  Guess they don't teach that in grad school. And yes, I LOVE the spelling error in the invite!  It's just the cherry on top.
    Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

    glad i could amuse you. now shut up and go back to your hick hell state. thank you come again.
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    What?  Since when is Long Island a hick state?

    :confused::
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    maylanemaylane member
    First Comment
    edited December 2009
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uuugh-friends-damn-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b3bcf50f-14f9-4f1a-9462-35203c5d8c2bPost:e1a9b000-083f-4ec0-a6c9-a571823702ba">Re: Uuugh why are my friends so damn tacky??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, and I could say that all New Yorkers are all assholes and think they're more important than everyone else.  Of course that doesn't apply to everyone.  Chill.
    Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

    I am chill. It'a  public board which means I'm allowed to comment on her comment. I just found it kinda immature to label an entire area of people to be a-holes just because you don't like stag and does. That's all.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uuugh-friends-damn-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b3bcf50f-14f9-4f1a-9462-35203c5d8c2bPost:86d840ac-cf87-45b0-a37e-8f715b52cc50">Re: Uuugh why are my friends so damn tacky??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Uuugh why are my friends so damn tacky?? : That's a huge generalization you're making there.
    Posted by maylane[/QUOTE]
    "or something" at the end of my sentence was supposed to imply sarcasm. Im glad you caught that. Chill the eff out.
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    Ugh.. I never thought of how tacky it was to have a stag.. I always just thought of it as a prewedding party.

    Yea, the FMIL planned it as soon as we were engaged. Ours is in May..

    I'll go hang my head in shame now.
    image Married and Junk.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uuugh-friends-damn-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b3bcf50f-14f9-4f1a-9462-35203c5d8c2bPost:e47a9648-42cc-4824-8e5f-f77c0b9a76c9">Re: Uuugh why are my friends so damn tacky??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ugh.. I never thought of how tacky it was to have a stag.. I always just thought of it as a prewedding party. Yea, the FMIL planned it as soon as we were engaged. Ours is in May.. I'll go hang my head in shame now.
    Posted by MissLeahM[/QUOTE]
    FOR SHAME!!! I shall shun you, forever more. :P
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uuugh-friends-damn-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b3bcf50f-14f9-4f1a-9462-35203c5d8c2bPost:4a85d93e-70eb-4e9a-bd6a-5f7fede0ee12">Re: Uuugh why are my friends so damn tacky??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Uuugh why are my friends so damn tacky?? : "or something" at the end of my sentence was supposed to imply sarcasm. Im glad you caught that. Chill the eff out.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]
     Just because I commented on your post doesn't mean I'm freaking out on you.
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    Uuugh you dont get it. Addressing what I said and then calling me immature warrants I respond or ignore. I chose to respond. You obviously were in a tizzy over southern ontarioans possibly being called a-holes, so I clarified that you needed to chill because you misunderstood what I sad.
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    tell them your real reasons.

    i personally don't attend baby showers out of my own moral obligation to myself.
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    Youre right jill, I need to grow some balls and just be honest. I tried talking my one friend out of it when she told me about it in October so surely she knows how i feel about them already.
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    Aw, psichick pulled a psichick and ran away without answering when she was challenged with something.  *tear*
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uuugh-friends-damn-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b3bcf50f-14f9-4f1a-9462-35203c5d8c2bPost:bc504e58-1da7-4e0f-a799-5489a178aa48">Re: Uuugh why are my friends so damn tacky??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Uuugh you dont get it. Addressing what I said and then calling me immature warrants I respond or ignore. I chose to respond. You obviously were in a tizzy over southern ontarioans possibly being called a-holes, so I clarified that you needed to chill because you misunderstood what I sad.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE
     
    Listen, I lurk alot and respect what you have to say. You seem to be a mature person,  I just found that partiular comment to be an an immature generalization and therefore wanted to comment on it. At no time did I express anger or display that I was freaking out about this. I'm on vacation with some down time so I thought I'd do some lurking and perhaps jump in to the discussion. That is all.
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    Every single member of my family and all of my friends have had stags and does.  I don't want to have one.  I am also going to have an open bar.  The first in my gigantic family's history.  How am I going to do this without a stag and doe?!?  I'm planning a wedding I can actually afford.  I think my Mom is about to lose her mind.
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    I never heard of those parties before. Maybe the guests attending just rationalize that they will make back the money spent on fundraising their friends' weddings when their own wedding comes around. Otherwise, I don't know why anyone would attend and not think it is tacky.
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    dmb - it's one of those regional things that people think is okay as long as it's the norm in their area.  Like cash bars.
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    edited December 2009
    Somehow I knew this would be about Jack and Jill parties.

    Have you ever been to one? I'd want you to go and wear a hidden camera just for the tackiness factor, then report back to us. But I don't think I'd have the guts to do that, so I fully support your boycott.

    And wait a minute Jill, you have friends with kids and they invite you to baby showers? WTF?
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