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how do i tell my BFF/MOH that her son/my godchild can not come to the reception?

How do tell my MOH that her son is not welcome at the reception? By the way- I am also his Godmother.... We are trying to have an adults only reception minus the children that are in the wedding party... How do i approach this?

Re: how do i tell my BFF/MOH that her son/my godchild can not come to the reception?

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    edited July 2010
    It's rude if you are allowing other children there. I think if you are having a no kids wedding - that should include no RB / FG. 

    Just tell her the truth though and be upfront. I'm sure she'll be hurt and surprised, seeing as how he is your godson, but it's best to let her know ASAP so she can make arrangements for him.
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    edited July 2010
    I don't think you can....

    I don't see what the big deal is though... one kid.

    We're having our young family members (which included our RB/FG) at our wedding (we love them and don't want them to miss out on the memories)... but in order to keep it from become a kid fest, we're not including our friends kids on the invitations. 

    EDIT - I miss read it... I thought he was your RB.  Either way, if he is your God son and she is your Maid of Honor... I'd put them in the "family" category.  You really shouldn't exclude him.
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    I don't think there is a way to do that without being rude, especially because there will be other children there. What is one more kid?

    If you are concerned about children causing a distraction, or even worried about feeding kids (we all know how expensive caterers can be), just a couple suggestions:

    1. a kids table, supplied with coloring books and other inexpensive toys (your MOH may even be kind enough to loan you toys for the table)
    2. ask your caterer if they have children friendly food and less expensive prices for children.... if not, do not include them in your "guest count" for the caterer and make bagged lunches for the kids the night before (perfect project for the groom/groomsmen). PB&J sandwiches, apple slices, juice boxes.... etc
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    Personally, I'd find a way to include him in the party, given that he is your godson and she is your MOH, but that is just me...
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    I did not want kids at the wedding (with the exception of my niece/nephew who are FG/RB)... and was set on this.  My oldest and dearest friend, is a BM and her youngest is my Godchild. She assumed the kids were coming because we've been friends so long and we're more like family.  When I responded with "no, no kids..." her feelings were very hurt and I truly realized it many not only damage a great friendship, but that my Godchild SHOULD be there. 

    I am not a people pleaser type person, but I looked at the bigger picture and my decision was made. 

    I don't think having a few kids there (or in your case 1) is a huge deal... 50 kids yes, 1 no.
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    Just tell her that it is an adult reception. That is not a foreign idea. She should understand that. You shouldn't be forced into having children attend if you don't want to. Its obvious that an exception is made for flower girl/ring bearer.
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    This is a tricky one. How many kids are we talking about, if you included all of them? Are you also not inviting any other family kids (nieces, nephews, siblings)?

    Is your wedding local? Does she have a regular sitter? How old is the son- over a year?


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    Are you keeping the fact that you're planning an adult-only reception a secret from your MOH? If you're that ashamed of your plan, that you find this difficult to discuss with your best friend, maybe you are not doing it for the right reasons.
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    A couple of things....how many other kids will be there?  And you relationship to them? And how old is your godchild?

    Adults only is fine, but as written in many posts, you just have to understand that there can be consequences.  

    Trust me, I've been there.Smile
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    Also, you said he can't come to the reception - is he welcome at the ceremony?  If so, what's the rationale for splitting hairs that way?
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    my MOH's daughter is my goddaughter.  also, my FBIL and FSIL have a son who will be 1.5 years old at the time of our wedding.  we're not inviting kids.  we told them both, individually, and no one had a problem with it.

    those two kids would have been the ones we would have made an exception for, and we could have made them a FG/RB in order to do it - but we thought that wasn't fair to other guests with kids.  we took an "all or nothing" approach.  we didn't want to 'pick and choose' who could bring kids and who couldn't, so we're just not inviting any.
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    If you're allowing kids in the wedding to attend the reception, I don't think you can really turn away other kids without hurting feelings.  Either kids should be allowed, or none can come at all.
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    If it's that important to you, how hard is it to just say, "I'm sorry, I love your son, but we want this to be adults only."

    I can't imagine that would upset someone who's close enough to make your her son's godmother.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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    I don't think one more child- especially your godson, will make a difference. We were having a kid-free wedding (simply b/c there were only a few people who had kids and they chose to not have them there) and DH did prefer that. Day of, one of the couple's babysitters canceled and they brought the 18 month old. It didn't matter in the least- he was as good as can be and if nothing else, he added the "cute factor" on the dance floor. I think you should include your godson, but perhaps if you bring it up to your MOH she will prefer to have him with a babysitter so she can enjoy herself.
    *~allie~*

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