Mentioning Wedding to People Who Aren't Invited

PJSPJS

I became friends with a circle of people because we share a common interest. We meet for dinner perhaps once a month and our conversation mostly concerns our shared interest. We are not really involved in each other's personal lives. With fall coming up, they are making plans for us to do a lot of things (related to our "hobby"), but I don't think I'll have time to join them because the wedding is in October. I feel odd telling them the reason why I probably won't be very available in the next 8 weeks, given that they are not invited.

I have become friends with one woman in the group, but we're still not really close friends, so it never occurred to me to invite her to the wedding. Is it rude to mention one's wedding to acquaintances or co-workers who are not invited? I assume that they wouldn't expect to be invited, but who knows?

Avion22

I think it's okay to mention that you will be unavailable for a few weeks because of the wedding, then leave it at that.   I mean, you would be okay telling them that you couldn't participate in some of the group activities because you were goin on vacation, right?

However, I would advise against sharing details about the planning of your wedding -- venues, flowers, colors, menu, or even planning frustratoins.  If anyone asks, you can tell them "We haven't planned that far ahead yet" or "We booked the Hyatt Regency" but leave it at that, and change the subject.   

Just one other thing though -- getting married doesn't take you off the calendar for months at a time.  Sure, the weekend before, the weekend of the wedding, and the weekend after might be out because of last-minute planning details, family in town, or being on your honeymoon.  Taking 8 weeks away from your hobby sounds excessive.  

Loopyseven

I'm just curious about what this "hobby" is that OP is being so secretive about .

ootmother2

aw, Sketti & her FI are sooo adorable!

lauraanne9

I think you are fine.  I started a new job after invitations had already gone out.  Granted just gone out, but the meaning is there.  And as the Wedding is in Ohio and I am in CA, there is really no expectation of anyone that they will be invited.  Now, I have mentioned a couple of times that we kept the CA guest list to family on the CA side (which is true) due to distance.  So, even if they think it is weird, they know I didn't really invite tons of people from CA.

No one has seemed annoyed.

PhoneCardLady

I belong to the Daughters of the American Revolution and when I got engaged I decided not to take on any elected positions in the chapter (which are two year positions)until after I am married.  However, if I can attend chapter meetings I will.

trixie549

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mentioning-wedding-to-people-who-arent-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b5c26863-3e26-4f72-aebd-38b2893840aePost:36b18040-ce04-4148-8789-d5bf2b986b91">Re: Mentioning Wedding to People Who Aren't Invited</a>:
[QUOTE]I belong to the Daughters of the American Revolution 
Posted by PhoneCardLady[/QUOTE]

<div>That sounds really interesting! I have an ancestor who signed the Declaration of Independence, so I believe that I would qualify for membership. Are you super involved with the organization? Do you think it's worth being a member?</div>

HeidiWard04

I did an intensive hospital internship this summer with a group of 6 other people.  We got to be very close knit given the nature of the work and type of internship (chaplaincy) that we were doing.  I too wondered about whether or not to try and make room on the guest list for at least part of the group and their plus ones.  Realistically, if we had all been close 6 months ago, I likely would have.  However, we'd worked for months to develop and finalize a guest list that didn't go wildly out of range with what we could afford.  Those folks both asked about and were genuinely interested in my planning, but knew they wouldn't be invited.