Wedding Etiquette Forum

Should I just assume they're a no?

My wedding is in a few weeks and it's getting to the point where I need a final head count for the reception. The wedding is in Michigan and I have a aunt and uncle and their son's family who haven't replied yet. My mom left them a message a week ago. Just a friendly "How have you been? We know the wedding is far away, just wanted to see if you're going to be able to make it or not" type message and we haven't heard anything. We're past the RSVP date now. Should I just put them as a no and move on or keep trying them?
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Re: Should I just assume they're a no?

  • I would call them again.
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  • Keep trying.  Call them.
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  • Maybe try an email?  Are you sure you called a number they check regularly?

    And as a last resort, make one more call that says, "hey, we need to know the final count by August X and if we don't hear from you by then, we'll have to assume you're not able to make it."
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  • wait until you absolutely need the head count.

    We're a week past our RSVP date, and have a LOT of people who have not RSVP'ed.  I keep getting surprised at who is and is not coming!
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  • Don't assume anything.  Keep calling. 
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    Keep trying to contact them and in your messages let them know you need an answer for the caterer, not a too friendly, "so, we were wondering if you are coming."
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  • Was the first phone call before the RSVP date?  You should call them personally this time.
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  • I would continue to call, maybe next time on the message just say Hey we need the final head count, please let me know either way. Thanks
  • I would just assume it is a no. Not only did they not RSVP, they failed to respond to the phone message.
  • If you don't hear by headcount time, oh well.  They are adults and capable of taking care of things.  It's not your job to nag them. You can assume they aren't coming. 
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