Wedding Etiquette Forum

Is this rude?

My MOH (my sister) has offered to pay for the bridesmaids to get their hair, nails and make-up done at a cosmetic school on the day of the wedding. And no, thats not their gift...just a nice offer from my sis.

My mom has now suggested that her and I have a spa day together as a special mom and daughter thing...while the rest of the wedding party is at the school. I think that sounds like so much fun. Here is the question:

Is it rude for the bride to go to a separate place for hair, etc? We arent offering the same services for the rest of the girls because its $300 a piece at the spa vs. $50 a piece at the school. They can go if they want to pay...BUT I sort of just want it to be a me and mom sort of thing. Rude? Not rude?

Re: Is this rude?

  • Do you really want to go to the spa while the women who are closest to you are at a salon/school?  Also, I would think it was weird if I was a bridesmaid getting all of my goods done one place and the bride was at another.  I would wonder why it was scheduled that way.

    Go with your mom on another day. 
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  • Bummer...I guess I might have to rethink this. I will be with the whole bridal party the night before so I wouldn't me MIA the whole time...just a couple hours in the morn.
  • That's kind of rude.  Have a spa day some other time, maybe the day before.
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  • I think a pre-wedding spa day with your mom sounds great.  But don't do it at the same time your bridesmaids are at the school.  I would feel like a prop you were sending to hair and makeup and not like one of your closest friends.
  • I think it sounds like a really nice time, but definitely save it for another time.  Like PPs have suggested, the day before would be better.  I think it would be fun to get your hair and stuff done with all of your girls the day of.
  • Okay, thanks for the advice!
  • Personally, I wouldn't care if my friend went for a spa day with her mom while I got my hair done. I'm really close to my mom, so I'd understand. But I can see why it would offend or upset others, so I'd suggest going at another time.
  • I think that it would be weird to go to another spa when your sister was nice enough to bring everyone to the school and pay for them. Also, I think it would be nice for you to spend that time with all the women that are important to you. You should go with your bridesmaids and bring mom too. Maybe you can do the spa day before your rehearsal dinner. Also, wouldn't it be nice to have pictures of you and all your BMs getting ready before the wedding? My photographer is coming to the salon to capture it all, but photog or no photog, I would be taking pictures of the prep. It will be fun! 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-rude-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b67ac595-6d13-47a9-8b8a-d565288ab924Post:c95a8c60-f3d9-4161-957a-d3518151784b">Re: Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you really want to go to the spa while the women who are closest to you are at a salon/school?  Also, I would think it was weird if I was a bridesmaid getting all of my goods done one place and the bride was at another.  I would wonder why it was scheduled that way. Go with your mom on another day. 
    Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]
    <p> </p><p>I second smokey, I would find this really bizarre... and I think I'd be a little hurt, if I were a BM.</p>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-rude-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b67ac595-6d13-47a9-8b8a-d565288ab924Post:5614fdf9-4876-4b38-9322-41632f865188">Re: Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is this rude? :   I second smokey, I would find this really bizarre... and I think I'd be a little hurt, if I were a BM.
    Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]


    This- also, it's better to have a facial, brow wax, etc- a week beforehand, so why not do that kind of thing with your mom, and then go with the girls on the day? Win/Win.
  • I would go with your mom the day or so before the wedding as some personal time to destress and go with the girls on the day of the wedding and get ready together
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  • edited July 2010
    I had my hair and makeup done with my mom while my sister and the other BMs went to a salon. We got married early in the day though, so it was the only way we could all get made up (BMs opted for services) without getting up at 4am. It wasn't a big deal.

    EDIT: two girls opted to get makeup done by my makeup artist, who came to my suite. So they left for hair and then came back. We ended up getting ready together in terms of dresses and stuff, we were essentially just apart for  hair.
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  • Honestly, I say do what you want!  It's your wedding.  It's you and your husbands day.  Don't be a bridezilla about it but simply explain to them the situation.  I'm sure if they're real friends, they will understand.  You can't "require" the girls to go with you to the spa and pay for it because it is so expensive and they can get the same thing (or close to it) at the school... just not as glamourized. 

    Bottom line:  do what you want!
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