NWR: gym moral obligation?

golden1215

CN: Should a gym revoke the membership of something who obviously works out too much/has an eating disorder?

LV: There is a women who works out at my gym who very VERY obviously has an eating disorder.  She looks like she's in her 50s, about 5'3'' and cannot weigh more than 75-80 lbs.  She is all skin and bones (thinking maybe she was heavy before).  At any rate she will work out for hours, sometimes I do 2 a days- work out with my trainer around 10:00 then go back at night for a group yoga class at like 5 or 6 and she'll still be there.  Now, maybe she leaves like I do, but I don't think so.

She also stands in front of the mirror in the womens locker room and pinches at herself- her skin- for.ev.er.

My trainer today told me that a female personal trainer has tried to talk to her before, round about asking her if she needs any training help or if she'd like a body mass comp test... I guess getting at helping the woman realize she's got an issue- and the lady flat out said don't ever ask me about my body fat again.

Lately, she's been bringing her teenage daughter with her.  The girl is a normal, fit weight for a 14ish age girl but I dont think she's old enough to drive so she's at the gym for hours with her mom.

Anyone think the gym has, a moral obligation to step in and tell the woman to cut back on hours?  Or to revoke her membership? Or something?  I guess she could just go to another gym but... idk I feel like her working out to excess is one thing but now that I see her healthy daughter being forced into her mom's routine I feel like its going too far.

[Deleted User]

Gosh, that is a tough one. I think this would involve legal implications whatever action the gym decided to take. I have never had a gym membership, so I don't know if there is a clause in there that would say something like "we have the right to revoke...", kwim? And if that was the case, she would probably just find another gym to go to.

Poor lady, hopefully someone can talk some sense into her before it is too late.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I really think it's a combination of all three of your choices. She WILL go somewhere else. Revoking it won't make her realize she has a problem. Yes, they can refuse service to anyone, but should they? I don't know.

DramaGeek

I agree that it's a combination of the three.  Do they have the right to revoke?  Sure, though I have no idea if they have the right in this case.  If they legally have the right, should they?  I don't know.  If they do, she'll definitely go elsewhere.  It sounds like they've tried to step in and help and she shut them down.  I'm not sure what else they can do. How sad.

CvilleClaire

The gym has no moral obligation.  However, their lawyers (or insurance company, which they would definitely have) would want her out of there to limit their liability.  If she has heart damage...well, I'm sure you all know this stuff.

I'm recovered myself.  I can't help but notice people exhibiting old behavior...but knowing the mentality, I know you can't really address it as a stranger.

bel138

Should stores not sell fattening or sugary foods to overweight people?

I'm not a super thin person, but I am friends with someone who is. You never know what's really going on. And most of society would have no qualms telling a stranger, "You're so skinny! You need to eat a cheeseburger!" But no one would dare say, "You're fat. You need to put that cheeseburger down."

I know it's not the exact same situation. Just a tangent I went off on about how society is accepting of certain norms but not others. I know this woman probably is this thin because of her gym habits. But just think about the opposite situation.

J&K10910

Do you work out at the same gym I do?  We have one of those people too. 

katiewhompus

That's a sticky one. 
It's also hard not knowing all of the details about the situation. She could have drastically lost weight because she was ill, had surgery, or currently has a disease that doesn't enable her to get to a healthy weight. It's also entirely possible she leaves in between times, or doesn't work out the entire time. When I was in high school I spent a good 6 hours at the gym every day but only worked out for about 1 of those hours and the rest was social time/sauna.

Calypso1977

she's not breaking any rules of the gym.  i dont see how they can revoke her membership.

honestly, it will probably take her fainting at the gym and getting paramedics involved before she gets the help she needs.  sad, but true.

mica178

I used to see someone like that in my college gym.  She was painfully skinny, you could see pretty much every bone and joint in her body.  Her face looked like a skelaton.  She fell asleep or fainted on the floor once, and people had a hard time feeling her pulse or waking her up, and the paramedics were called.  That was the last time she was seen at the gym.  I hope she was placed in a facility that treats horrible eating disorders.

That being said, gyms are businesses, and really they should not interfere with a person's decisions until it is clear and proven that that person is hurting herself (sort of like bartenders continuing to pour drinks until the person is visibly drunk).  Now, if the woman has a personal trainer employed by the gym, that person probably does have an obligation to speak with her about her weight issues and health, but the random gym receptionist? No.

golden1215

J&K- lifetime fitness in champlin?

and about asking over weight people questions at the gym, my gym does exactly that.  I started the gym a good 40 lbs heavier than I am now and was immediately approached by trainers and nutrionists and got a ton of help at getting on a healthy track.  My trainer is my friend on FB and he sure as shiit calls me out on eating crap if I post something like, "beer and pizza with the man tonight".  So, I don't think anyone- on any extreme of the weight scale- should be exempt from being asked questions by people trained in just that.  And the lady who asked the woman is a certified trainer herself, not some receptionist. 

And I wouldnt care about her being so skinny- like maybe she had been ill- if she didn't stare at herself in the mirror forever, like totaly TLC-made-for-TV-movie-about-eating-disorder style.

Its just sad and I hope her daughter can see that neither extreme- fat or thin- is good.

mica178

But is that trainer HER trainer, or just a trainer at the gym?  If they have no relationship, I don't blame the anorexic lady for lashing out, because it isn't her business.  Now, if the trainer who spoke with her is HER ("hired" and paid) trainer, then it's a different story. 

I'm not supporting anorexia or negative body image, but I also hate when people stick their noses where they don't belong.

golden1215

Mica- you're right, the trainer was not hired.  But I guess what I was getting at is the atmosphere of this gym is you dont need to hire a trainer to have any of the training staff ask you questions/give you pointers on your form/ask if you know your cardio rates or BMI etc etc

I mean, most of the time they are trying to get you in a convo to get you to the point of hiring them; but its not like she is the only lady who has ever had a trainer come up and ask her questions about her routine or eating or whatnot

But then again I'm sure some overweight people prob told the trainers to shut it to!