Wedding Etiquette Forum

BM Gifts

Things for my wedding are going to slightly different. One of the major things is that myself and my mother are making my dress as well as the BM dresses. I am a clothing designer and my mother is actually the one who taught me how to sew, so nothing will look homemade.

I was orginally going to just have my BM's pay for the cost of fabri and notiions, but then I realized that a couple of BM's are in crappy financial situations for reasons beyond their control. Therefore, I decided that instead of doing traditional BM gifts that their gift would be their dresses, jewelry and hair accessories. This way the only thing they have to buy is shoes, and those will be black, so they can definitely wear them again.

If you were a BM would you appreciate this?
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Re: BM Gifts

  • Anything that you give them to wear in your wedding is not a gift.  You still need to get them a NWR gift, preferably something personal.

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    murrayed
  • Well... I totally would. Really. In fact, I bought my BM's dresses for the same reasons as you. (Didn't want them spending money they really can't part with to be in my pretty princess day.)

    But... I'm also giving them a gift. In fact, I'm taking them to the spa and also giving them a physical gift.

    It's super nice to not have to spend the money, but they might appreciate something physical and heartfelt. It doesn't need to be expensive. And a nice handwritten thank you note as well.

    And just curious, don't they all already own black shoes? I sure as hell have several pairs. So they probably won't need to buy them?
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  • We're having a 50's/Rockabilly theme wedding, so they might have to purchase shoes suitable for that, which are actually in style now so it's really no biggie.
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  • Gotcha. Sounds like a cool theme.

    Some people have done gift cards based on their BMs personalities, or even something smaller - I think some girls have spent $10-$15 per person. But it's nice to do something not related to your wedding - to show you appreciate their friendship rather than the role they are filling.
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  • I'm sure I'll still get them a little something extra, or make it. It just won't be anything extravagant like expensive jewelry or other things that I have seen mentioned on here.

    I am also trying my best to find someone to come and do hair and make-up for all of the BM as well as myself on the big day, and I am planning on paying for that as well.


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  • I did fairly small gifts for my bms... one is getting a t-shirt, another is getting a stuffed animal, along with some gift cards/movie tickets, that sort of thing.
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  • I would appreciate you covering the costs, sure.  But I wouldn't consider it a gift.

    I am paying for my BM dresses, and I don't consider it to be a gift to them, it's just something I've chosen to do because I don't think it should cost them extra to stand up for me.
    Married 10/2/10
  • I agree, it should be something else for their gifts, although I think it's great you're paying for their things.

    Here are some things I thought of, since you sew...

    Make them a make up bag. I'm always on the hunt for a cool make up bag

    ditto wristlet, or card holder

    Make them some pj's- find a fun print each will like


  • If I were a BM, I think I'd be quite happy if the bride paid for my dress.  And jewelry and everything, I'd be pretty pysched.  I've spent anywhere from $200 to $500 for stuff that like that.  I'd MUCH prefer the bride pay for the dress and not get me a present than the other way around.

    I think your BMs will appreciate it.  If you can afford to get them a small present in addition, that's just extra nice.  But I don't think it is necessary.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bm-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6b6386a-1e17-4f79-9988-2b9fecc93eaaPost:fdc1c986-c33f-4fa4-98c5-243fb0f4fcd2">Re: BM Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well... I totally would. Really. In fact, I bought my BM's dresses for the same reasons as you. (Didn't want them spending money they really can't part with to be in my pretty princess day.)
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    This. I actually feel really honored to be in someone's bridal party. It may sound cheesy, but that they care enough to ask me to be in the WP is kind of a gift. But, it's obviously very nice if you can get them a little something non-wedding related.
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