Wedding Etiquette Forum

HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!

I have 2 flower girls and 3 ring bearers in my wedding.

2 of the ring bearer’s are my nephews.

1 ring bearer and 1 flower girl-both their parents are in my wedding

The other flower girl- both her parents are in the wedding. Her mom is my maid of honor, she is also pregnant with her second child and is due 7 days prior to my wedding..

I do not want any children at my reception, I am not budging on this. I would like them all to leave after introductions.

How do you properly tell these parents this?

«1

Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tell-parents-children-reception-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6e57805-f651-4989-93f8-b1da5ab8fe87Post:eb956cbc-f8b5-4a10-924d-864c9d5a4e4b">HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have 2 flower girls and 3 ring bearers in my wedding. 2 of the ring bearer’s are my nephews. 1 ring bearer and 1 flower girl-both their parents are in my wedding The other flower girl- both her parents are in the wedding. Her mom is my maid of honor, she is also pregnant with her second child and is due 7 days prior to my wedding.. I do not want any children at my reception, I am not budging on this. I would like them all to leave after introductions. How do you properly tell these parents this?
    Posted by adeline77[/QUOTE]

    <div>So, you want to tell these parents that they need to pay for attire for their kids to be in your wedding, bring them to reception just to be introduced, and then find a way for them to get home?  Nope, sorry it's rude.  Let them stay for the reception, or don't have child attendants at all.</div>
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • You shouldn't have children in your wedding if they're not welcome at the reception.  Everyone invited to the ceremony needs to be invited to the reception--including kids.
    image
  • millkn2millkn2 member
    10 Comments
    There is no proper way, that is rude!!! If you invite them to the ceremony, then they should be invited to the reception.
  • Huh?  You're having kids in your actual wedding, their parents are in your wedding party and you want to give the kids the boot afterwards?  I don't think there's a polite way to say that.  
  • Tell them however you like; hopefully most of them will pull their props out of your ceremony and you won't have to worry about it.
  • Anyone invited to the ceremony, including those IN the ceremony, must be invited to the reception. I'm guessing it's too late to have a kid-free wedding now, since you already asked them to be in the ceremony.
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    40/112

    Photobucket
  • edited May 2011
    Anyone invited to the ceremony, and especially anyone in the wedding (i.e. flower girls and ring bearers) must be invited to the reception. 

    Either have the children at the reception (and it is ok if the only children invited to the reception are the FG/RB), or have no FG/RB.

    Also, if your MOH can make the wedding (which she honestly may not be able to - heck, she could have her child the day of the wedding), you really need to let her bring her newborn.  If you insist on separating her from a 7-day-old infant, she really probably won't be able to come.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tell-parents-children-reception-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6e57805-f651-4989-93f8-b1da5ab8fe87Post:eb956cbc-f8b5-4a10-924d-864c9d5a4e4b">HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have 2 flower girls and 3 ring bearers in my wedding. 2 of the ring bearer’s are my nephews. 1 ring bearer and 1 flower girl-both their parents are in my wedding The other flower girl- both her parents are in the wedding. Her mom is my maid of honor, she is also pregnant with her second child and is due 7 days prior to my wedding.. I do not want any children at my reception, I am not budging on this.<strong> I would like them all to leave after introductions. How do you properly tell these parents this?
    </strong>Posted by adeline77[/QUOTE]

    That is rude. Please do not do this.

    You invited the children to the wedding (which is the ceremony & the reception). So the parents get to decide when they go home. Why do you want the kids to go home?

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

    image
    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tell-parents-children-reception-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6e57805-f651-4989-93f8-b1da5ab8fe87Post:564b3ac6-3252-4599-8235-1e1b02868ab7">Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Tell them however you like; hopefully most of them <strong>will pull their props out of your ceremony and you won't have to worry about it.
    </strong>Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

    This EXACTLY. You cannot expect them to be IN your wedding and then give them the boot after you are done with them. You do not have to have any flower girls or ring bearers in your wedding if you do not want any children. Good grief.
  • Wow, that's really rude.  How would you like it if someone told you "I want you to spend money and take time out of my day to look pretty for pictures and then get lost"?

    Don't do it.  If you don't want the kids at the reception, then don't have them in the wedding.
    image
  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    edited May 2011
    The ONLY even remotely polite way to do this would be to provide babysitting services onsite at your reception venue that you could ask them to make use of it.

    That's it...otherwise there is no way to do this without being completely rude to the children or their parents.

    ETA:  And that's even stretching it because they may not want to leave their children with a stranger.  Oh - and nursing infants are the exception to the no kids rule.

     

  • You really can't do that. It's perfectly fine not to have other children at the reception, but you need to invite the kids that are IN the WP. How do you envision that working anyway? Their parents have to leave too? Or they have to hire a sitter to come get them? No way. I'd decline to be in your wedding and stay home with my kids. Also, please tell me you don't expect your MOH to be in your wedding and reception without her days-old infant if she delivers before the wedding? 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tell-parents-children-reception-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6e57805-f651-4989-93f8-b1da5ab8fe87Post:0489aaa6-40c5-4b75-a115-dc85c93aa31f">Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]The ONLY even remotely polite way to do this would be to provide babysitting services onsite at your reception venue that you could ask them to make use of it. That's it...otherwise there is no way to do this without being completely rude to the children or their parents. ETA:  And that's even stretching it because they may not want to leave their children with a stranger.  Oh - and nursing infants are the exception to the no kids rule.
    Posted by kjhowd[/QUOTE]

    I personally think even that's rude.

    Kids in the wedding party are the exception to the no kids rule as well.
    image
  • I'm especially curious as to what the mom and dad of the flower girl and ring bearer who are all IN the wedding are supposed to do with their booted kids at the reception. WTF?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tell-parents-children-reception-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6e57805-f651-4989-93f8-b1da5ab8fe87Post:564b3ac6-3252-4599-8235-1e1b02868ab7">Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Tell them however you like; hopefully most of them will pull their props out of your ceremony and you won't have to worry about it.
    Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

    My thoughts exactly, Bec. :)

    Good to see you, btw!
    image
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tell-parents-children-reception-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6e57805-f651-4989-93f8-b1da5ab8fe87Post:5d515217-4e1f-4a59-b079-37d45a7dde3d">Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help! : I personally think even that's rude. Kids in the wedding party are the exception to the no kids rule as well.
    Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]

    Honestly I agree, hence the "remotely polite".  I just figured it was a bit of compromise if she's that adament about no kids.

     

  • The only compromise if she's that adamant about no kids is to not have kids in her ceremony, either.
    image
  • Wow.. that is R-U-D-E beyond belief. If you don't want ANY kids at the reception, then you can't have any kids in the WP. Simple as that.

    You're asking the parents to buy outfits for their kids, have the FG's hair done and then you are going to introduce the kids at the reception and force their parents to send them away? Are you freaking kidding me?


    image
    Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tell-parents-children-reception-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6e57805-f651-4989-93f8-b1da5ab8fe87Post:501453be-7302-4efc-9228-cbdde850126d">Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]The only compromise if she's that adamant about no kids is to not have kids in her ceremony, either.
    Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]

    That really wouldn't be a compromise, but I see your point.

     

  • Just tell them that their kids are cute enough to be in the wedding and introduced at the reception, but you won't accept their bratty antics during dinner or dancing.
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tell-parents-children-reception-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6e57805-f651-4989-93f8-b1da5ab8fe87Post:131a53ee-304f-4907-86b2-63961c694197">Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help! : That really wouldn't be a compromise, but I see your point.
    Posted by kjhowd[/QUOTE]

    That's the point. There is no real compromise here. Etiquette dictates that the children in her wedding party be invited to ALL of the reception OR she cut the children from the WP entirely to achieve her kid-free reception.
    image
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Oh man.  Good luck.  You're definitely sending the right message to your friends with this move.  Come back and tell us how it goes. 

  • Now what if these were YOUR children? How would you feel about a Bride requesting that your children be used as 'props only'. If your not budging on this, I hope FG and RB attire hasn't been purchased, as you will need to reimburse their parents. AND if the parents are unable to attend because of your outrageous demands, I say you reimburse them for their attire to.

    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited May 2011
    Wow.  I would be so offended if those were my children.

    OP, I know you may think that children will absolutely RUIN your big day but if you go through with this you will probably seriously damage your friendship with the parents.  
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • On another note, since peeps have already covered how unbelievably rude this is, why the eff do you need THREE ring bearers?  Just asking.
    image
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tell-parents-children-reception-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6e57805-f651-4989-93f8-b1da5ab8fe87Post:f8fe51f3-adaa-4284-beb1-860d6bcfd516">Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]On another note, since peeps have already covered how unbelievably rude this is, why the eff do you need THREE ring bearers?  Just asking.
    Posted by Sing2phins[/QUOTE]

    this.
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tell-parents-children-reception-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6e57805-f651-4989-93f8-b1da5ab8fe87Post:f8fe51f3-adaa-4284-beb1-860d6bcfd516">Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]On another note, since peeps have already covered how unbelievably rude this is, why the eff do you need THREE ring bearers?  Just asking.
    Posted by Sing2phins[/QUOTE]

    Wills and Kate sort of raised the bar on cute child attendants, clearly.  (You could sort of see the inbreeding at work on one of those flower girls, though, amiright?) 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tell-parents-children-reception-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6e57805-f651-4989-93f8-b1da5ab8fe87Post:f8fe51f3-adaa-4284-beb1-860d6bcfd516">Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]On another note, since peeps have already covered how unbelievably rude this is, why the eff do you need THREE ring bearers?  Just asking.
    Posted by Sing2phins[/QUOTE]

    <div>Duh, it's because it would be rude to not include every child she knows.  Funny how she picks and chooses when she wants to be rude.</div>
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tell-parents-children-reception-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b6e57805-f651-4989-93f8-b1da5ab8fe87Post:27a97d2f-617f-4e78-9cf1-568fd8835ffa">Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: HOw to tell parents no children at reception-Need help! : Wills and Kate sort of raised the bar on cute child attendants, clearly.  (You could sort of see the inbreeding at work on one of those flower girls, though, amiright?) 
    Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]
    Duly noted.  However, something tells me this chicky is far from royalty.
    image
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards