I know I'll get an honest answer here

ohwhynot

Some of the other boards are just way too "nice" - I don't want nice; I want honest.

I would like to have my son (age 10) and daughter (age 8) do a reading at our wedding.  It's going to be a short, civil ceremony performed by our coworker (who just got internet ordained in order to marry us) and will take place at the same venue as the reception (same room, same tables and chairs, actually).

Here's my question:  sure I, as their Mom, would find it touching and sweet, even if they stumbled a bit and read in kind of a monotone, but would other guests be cringing?  Rolling their eyes?  Is this just a mom's vanity?

Obviously, I haven't mentioned it to them yet, because I wanted to get a general consensus on whether it's a good idea and I know my friends/family would tell me it's a sweet idea no matter what they really thought.  

Your thoughts?

thesuninherhead

I think it would be sweet, so long as they are confident enough to do it and aren't being forced to get up there.

Night_Sprite

Don't have your kids read.  It has massive potential to be awkward and contrived.  That said, if your kids are great orators, it could go well.

nda_roxybabe

Ohwhynot,

How long of a reading would they have it? I'd think it was cute if it was super short. Anything longish and really sappy would bug me.

What did you have in mind?

Nebb

As long as its short, i dont see a huge problem with it. 1min long, tops. As long as they arent singing though, because thats far worse than listening to kids do a reading.

EmmaBride2B

Cute if it's super short, like a poem.

Not so cute and kind of awkward if it's a full blown passage of something.

laurenclaire1386

Meh. Honestly, I'm not really a fan of the idea. Seems kind of contrived to me.

lauralaur

Do you think they would want to do it? If they were excited about it it would be really sweet I think.

Brie2010

I don't mind having kids read as long as they want to do it and are okay.  I don't mind a little stumbling over words.  I think it's a nice way to involve them in the ceremony without it being weird or awkward.

sarah0725

I think it's cute as long as it's short and they're up to it. I'm not known to make fun of kids doing readings.

Kids singing the Star Spangled Banner, on the other hand.... just don't have them sing the Star Spangled Banner. *shudders*

tenofcups4me

I think it's a nice idea and yes, I would think it's sweet even if they stumble over it. I'd be most concerned about making sure it's relatively short -- and appropriate for a kid to be reading (nothing about the meaning of marriage, for example, which would just be weird coming from a kid).

FWIW, of course it's "contrived" -- aren't all wedding ceremonies?  

ohwhynot

Oh god, singing?  That one hadn't even occurred to me.  

I don't have anything particular in mind; I figured that, if it was something we wanted to do, I'd search around for kid-appropriate and nice (read:  not sappy or "we're so happy Mommy's marrying this guy who's not our Dad") for them to do.  If we can't find something we really like, fi and I won't even ask the kids about it.

BecW2be

I wouldn't. If you ask them, they'll feel obligated and may not really want to. I'd mention them in your vows or, if FI wants to, let him say something to them in his vows. My DH had an entire speech just for my girls, with bracelets. I loved it, and they didn't have to speak.

terbear_86

I know a lot of brides use the passage from "The Velveteen Rabbit" in their ceremony, which could be particularly tear-inducing coming from the mouth of an 8 year old.

At the same time, I love the idea of involving your kids, I have a son who will be about 6 1/2 at the time of our wedding and would love for him to take some part in it, most likely not reading, but some part.


Edit: I meant tear inducing in a good, warm hearted, so much love way from everyone in the room.

SparrowSong

It would be cute. Just keep it short. Be ok with scrapping it last minute if they get scared and aren't up to it.

LesPaul

As long as they want to do it, fine.  My daughter played the processional on her violin, but only because she wanted to.

laurenclaire1386

Well I guess content has to do with what I meant by "contrived." Like PP said, if the reading is about the meaning of marriage, something a kid very obviously knows little about, then that's where it gets contrived and trying too hard for me. If it's a more kid friendly subject matter, I think that eliminates a lot of the hokiness.

pooh8402

meh, I think I'd rather see them as attendants. but I was shy at that age and would have hated to do that, even for my mom.

sarah0725

What about something short from the Velveteen Rabbit or the Little Prince? You could have each of them read half of it if it is a slightly longer passage... both of those books have passages that are often used at weddings.

sarah0725

terbear is stealing my thoughts....

*runs to line apartment with tinfoil and hide in closet*

terbear_86

Sarah----- you can come out of the closet now

3plus

I can't say that I'm a big fan of this idea.  If THEY asked YOU if they could do it, that would be one thing.  But the other way around seems kind of awkward to me.  Like mom putting the kids on display.  That being said, my son is escorting me into the room and my daughter will be one of my bridesmaids.  Perhaps not much different.

bbyckes

I vote, yes.  I'm having my 13-year-old son and 10-year-old cousin do a reading.  I think most people would find it endearing.

ohwhynot

3plus, I hadn't thought of it that way.   As it is, son is going to be the ring bearer and daughter will be the flower girl.  I'm not having any other attendants, and fi will have a best man.  We weren't going to have the kids up there with us for the entire ceremony, but instead they would come down the aisle, sit with my family, and perhaps come up to do a reading.  But now that you mention it, that may seem like I"m showing them off too much.  Hmmm.  I'll have to mull this over for awhile . . . 

ootmother2

Wht are you asking us?  Ask them and go with with athe choose

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ill-honest-answer-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7f02f57-5409-41e2-8e2d-d6532ad81369Post:7707f384-3beb-4bce-b148-78af09d732ec">Re: I know I'll get an honest answer here</a>:
[QUOTE]Sarah----- you can come out of the closet now
Posted by terbear_86[/QUOTE]

But it's safe here!

saisongbird

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ill-honest-answer-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7f02f57-5409-41e2-8e2d-d6532ad81369Post:3f26214b-3e43-4065-9230-62e5ec269108">Re: I know I'll get an honest answer here</a>:
[QUOTE]Wht are you asking us?  Ask them and go with with athe choose
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>OOT is wise.  Ask the kids. They might love it.  They might hate it.  But let their word decide this one.
</div><div>
</div><div>And to others, regarding kids singing - kids singing poorly is painful.  I used to teach elementary vocal music, and I have to say that kids singing beautifully is quite possibly the most beautiful sound in the world.</div>

ring_pop

Stumbling, I would find cute and endearing. Monotone might suggest that they didn't really want to do it, and thus I'd find cringeworthy.

I think it's totally appropriate for your kids to do a reading if they want. I was a church reader at age 9 and I loved it.

ohwhynot

OOT and Saison:  I'll only ask the kids if the consensus is that guests wouldn't think it awkward, contrived, or show-offy.  I'd hate to have asked them, have them all excited, then come on here to find out that it's a bad idea.

If we decide to ask them, they'll have no problem declining if they don't want to.  My instincts tell me that one of them will want to do it, but the other will be too shy.  If we decide to try to find a suitable reading and if we find one we like, we'll ask them and they can accept/decline all the way up to the moment they are to walk up and deliver the reading.  

terbear_86

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ill-honest-answer-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7f02f57-5409-41e2-8e2d-d6532ad81369Post:c9241e0a-7350-4db9-83c6-74b00e648ff1">Re: I know I'll get an honest answer here</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I know I'll get an honest answer here : But it's safe here!
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]


I don't bite... hard. I am sorry I double clicked faster??? But hey, great minds think alike - correct?

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ill-honest-answer-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7f02f57-5409-41e2-8e2d-d6532ad81369Post:ee9932a2-76a1-4a9f-ba04-74109c1906b1">Re: I know I'll get an honest answer here</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I know I'll get an honest answer here : I don't bite... hard. I am sorry I double clicked faster??? But hey, great minds think alike - correct?
Posted by terbear_86[/QUOTE]

Nah it's okay. I kid, I kid.