XP: Ease My Worries, Please?

em01092

FMIL wants members of her church (wedding location) to be "invited" via a blerb in the bulletin, but they will know not to attend the reception (different location) because there will be no mention of it, obviously. They will not get individal invitations. 

Someone please tell me this does in fact work out this way and it's really no big deal? I just have fears of one of her church friends asking me or her "So where's the reception?" on the day of the wedding...I don't want that awkwardness for her or for me. I told her they have to understand this, because we have place cards and limited food, so it will be even more awkward if they managed to show up. 

Advice?

em01092

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ease-worries-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b84e173a-d67f-44cd-bfb4-1c0a5f7d0f24Post:8eea0b96-2f31-48a4-8415-19e67d000e00">Re: XP: Ease My Worries, Please?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Churches are public places and one can not stop someone from coming in.</strong>  A lot of times weddings are annouced at services and in the bulletin for people to show up if they wish to. ETA:  You should do a receiving line at the church if there will be church members that aren't wedding guests there.  They need to be thanked too.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

<div>I completely get that, and I've heard around the boards that it's a pretty common thing (new and strange to me, but whatever), I just don't want that weirdness I described, you know? I don't want there to be any misunderstandings and hurt feelings. </div><div>
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em01092

Somewhat related example: 

A girl got married at my grandma's church a few months ago. Some ladies threw her a shower, my grandma included. My grandma did not get an invitation to the wedding. Her friend asked her if she wanted to ride to the wedding together. Grandma replied, I was not invited, I did not get an invite. Friend says, What do you mean? Of course we are invited! We threw her a shower! 

People who were not actually invited showed up (not my grandma) at the tiny church and apparently people had to stand.

Now I know this is different, because we don't really have a space issue at the church, but do you see what I'm saying?

Edited for info and spelling.

RaptorSLH

In some churches, this is SOP.  Talk to the minister if you're concerned, and he can tell you what is usual for this congregation.

mica178

Our church put our wedding ceremony information in the bulletin and on the website.  I think I saw a couple members of the congregation at the ceremony.  We hosted light refreshments at the church between the ceremony and reception, and they were welcome to partake.  No one who wasn't invited showed up at my reception venue.

froggatt.clare

Thanks for bringing this up.  My dad is a pastor, and the wedding will be at his church.  I didn't think about church members showing up, but now I'll ask him whether he and mom are doing the same type of blanket invite to members or announcing our wedding in the bulletin.