Thunder Thief

OurMrsReynolds

I have been engaged to my fiance for 6 years now and for one reason or another there has always been a very good reason why we should put off the wedding for a little while longer, job market, health problems, ad nauseum.  Now we have set a date for April of 2013.  We have not sent out any information and have not even told anyone except for my parents and his as this November my sister is getting married and the last thing I want to do is take away from her special day.  The trouble is I am worried that by delaying I am making it more unlikely that no one will be able to come to my wedding, I am getting married in Florida and the rest of my family lives in the midwest. My sister is the type to be offended if she feels I encroach but I do not know if I can realistically expect many people to come if I do not let them know something before the first of the year.  Should I put this off yet another year? 

rachelm13

NO!  You picked a date that works for you FI and your VIPs.  You are getting married after your sister.  No thunder stealing will happen.  She gets one day and you get one day. 

StephBeanWed61502

I am not sure how getting a save the date in the mail two months before your sister's wedding, for a wedding that is going to be happening 5 months after her wedding, would have any impact at all on her wedding day. I would send out save the dates now, especially since you know people will have to make travel plans to be able to attend.

Avion22

If she's getting married in November 2012, and your date is April 2013, then I don't see a conflict.

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thunder-thief?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b86f6bbd-ca3e-4f45-9ce9-6f7369caebdcPost:d30bf16f-52f9-4026-8390-b4f4e4769c24">Thunder Thief</a>:
[QUOTE]I have been engaged to my fiance for 6 years now and for one reason or another there has always been a very good reason why we should put off the wedding for a little while longer, job market, health problems, ad nauseum.  Now <strong>we have set a date for April of 2013.</strong>  We have not sent out any information and have not even told anyone except for my parents and his as<strong> this November my sister is getting married and the last thing I want to do is take away from her special day.</strong>  The trouble is I am worried that by delaying I am making it more unlikely that no one will be able to come to my wedding, I am getting married in Florida and the rest of my family lives in the midwest. My sister is the type to be offended if she feels I encroach but I do not know if I can realistically expect many people to come if I do not let them know something before the first of the year.  Should I put this off yet another year? 
Posted by OurMrsReynolds[/QUOTE]

You get one day. She gets one day. While planning a wedding the same weekend or even the next weekend would definitely get some side-eye action, there are five MONTHS between your dates. You're fine.

Start planning and feel free to let people who you are sure to invite what the date is.

achiduck

You're not stealing anyone's thunder. Go ahead and plan your wedding.

hwoychowski

Send a basic 'Save-the-Date' not a whole TA-DA-WE-ARE-FINALLY-GETTING-MARRIED announcement and I think you will keep both sides happy. You need to tell people asap if they are traveling, but there is no need to do a huge announcement right before her wedding either.

Fancypantsamy

It's not like you're announcing your date at her bridal shower or reception. It's fine. Plus, people have time to congratulate you and then you can downplay it at the actual wedding when you see everyone. I think if she gets upset, she's just an attention whore. 

DramaGeek

Thunder stealing would be making an announcement at her reception that you've set a date.  Sending a postcard informing people that you'll be married on X date in Y place, invitation to follow, is not thunder stealing in the least.

J&K10910

The title of this reminds me of when I was younger and I used to think the AC/DC song was actually "Dirty Deeds and the Thunder Chief."

That's all I've got.

Peledreamsofrain

Set the date of your wedding when it works for you.  Brides don't 'own' an entire 6 months to a year.   If she's going to get upset about something that trivial, then she's the type of person who is just always upset about something.  And you can't fix that.

StephanieM22

People get invited to multiple weddings every year it is not thunder stealing to send out your STD's before her wedding. She gets her day you get yours. 

PrimRoseMama

In Response to Re:Thunder Thief:[QUOTE]If she's getting married in November 2012, and your date is April 2013, then I don't see a conflict. Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

Exactly. What is the problem?