Tip: use "Invitation to Follow" on STDs!

yellowdaisies84

Hi ladies, I thought I'd share a tip with you that I have just learned first-hand. It is very standard to use the phrase "Invitation to follow" on Save-the-dates and I'm sure that most of you did use that phrase or are planning to use that phrase.

When I made my save-the-dates I played around a lot with the formatting and the wording. At the bottom of the save-the-date I deleted the phrase "invitation to follow" and instead put the address for our wedding website. I felt that it was obvious that an invitation was to follow so that phrase wasn't necessary and I loved how my save-the-date looked.

To me, it was obvious that this was a save-the-date. It was a one-sided card with the this wording:

SAVE THE DATE

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED

SEPTEMBER 21, 2013

JANE SMITH

AND JOHN JONES

Smithville, Ontario

smithjones.ourwedding.com

(No, that's not our real info other than the wedding date!)

First, my future step-sister in law RSVP'd on facebook. I could tell that she didn't know what an STD was, and she was unsure how to go about RSVPing. Then, a good friend of mine sent me a postcard in the mail to accept my invitation. Then, my Grandma sent me a card in the mail to thank me for inviting her and let me know she would be attending. When I called her on the phone she told me that my Aunt wanted to send her own card to accept soon. I told my Grandma (and the others, too) that our proper invitations would be coming this summer and she was really surprised. She said "Oh honey, so what did you send me then?" I explained it was a save-the-date and I explained that the invitation would have a reply card and she could select her meal, and it would have a map and tell her exactly where the venue is located- she didn't expect that and she thought that what she had received was her invitation!

So, not a big deal but I do wish I'd kept the phrase "Invitation to follow" on the STD and I wanted to pass that along to other brides- although I'm sure you were going to anyway it was my mistake to think that wasn't important. To me it was obviously a save-the-date and I even wrote Save the date! on the back of the envelopes but I learned that not everyone is super familiar with the concept of save-the-dates or at least without that phrase it leaves then unsure of how to proceed. My website also said on the homepage that save-the-dates were out and invitations would follow this summer but, understandably, not everyone reads the website or at least not word-for-word.

Miss Esa

I think it is really just personal preference. I kept the phrase 'invitation to follow' on mine Save-the-Dates, but I wish that I had put my wedding website there instead. 

Jen4948

I think that even if you do put "invitation to follow" on an STD, you're going to get a "WTF????" reaction from some people.  Maybe they will be less blunt and/or hostile than "WTF????" but they'll still be confused and/or wondering why you sent the STD at all and didn't just send them an invitation.

yellowdaisies84

Oh really stagemanager?

That is really interesting. You're probably right, but I do think that the phrase would have, at least in my case- helped the guests to understand that there was still an invitation forthcoming. 

Definitely my 'circle' is not used to seeing them. 

yellowdaisies84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-use-invitation-to-follow-on-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b878c3e2-edb5-4eea-9cee-8648e5be3b01Post:44595c18-7928-43ba-bca2-e2fa27471fa7">Re: Tip: use "Invitation to Follow" on STDs!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it is really just personal preference. I kept the phrase 'invitation to follow' on mine Save-the-Dates, but I wish that I had put my wedding website there instead. 
Posted by Tlanute[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I wish I put both! LOL :)

</div>

Love11506

Every single STD I have received in the mail has said invitation to follow.

JennaMichelle88

I did both. The STD "came" with the line "Formal invitation to follow" and I added our website under that. Haven't sent them out yet so idk how they will be received, but it made sense to me and FI

ladyomnipotent

I didn't put "invitation to follow" on my STD magnets, and I had 1 person RSVP by email after they got it.

The bigger issue I had was that I think a lot of people didn't recognize the wedsite address on the magnet as my wedding website.  I didn't use the standard "me name his name.com" or "so-and-so's wedding.com"

vanityink

I had "Invitation to follow" on my STDs and I *still* got people emailing about whether or not they could come already. For some it helped (could figure out who to already count out in our numbers) but it was just funny.

rajahmd

We actually forgot to put both on our STD's.  Oops.  We were so excited about the design and the disclaimer at the bottom that we completely left off any other information.  I think at that point we hadn't even made our website yet, which is probably why we didn't think of it.  We're putting all that information on a separate piece of paper that we'll put in the evelope with the STD, 

In the end, I don't think it will matter much.  If people don't know what a STD is, I think they're going to get confused no matter what's written on the STD.

allychase

Huh.. I didn't put invitation to follow and no one's done anything like try and RSVP already. Hopefully this is a sign of things to come with wedding RSVPS.

joheryl

I had formal invitatio to follow on my STD.  I still had people ask me if that was the invite though.  With our picture on the front I don't think many people looked at the back of our postcard.

BMoreBride6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-use-invitation-to-follow-on-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b878c3e2-edb5-4eea-9cee-8648e5be3b01Post:c753ba43-d888-48cf-b229-4464de565d83">Re: Tip: use "Invitation to Follow" on STDs!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tip: use "Invitation to Follow" on STDs! : I wish I put both! LOL :)
Posted by yellowdaisies84[/QUOTE]

<div>I put both as well ; ) </div>

honeyjade22

We put it on the back of ours.

Belle0720

Good advice! I just went onto magnetstreet.com (where we got our save the dates) and 'formal invitation to follow' is included on most but not all of the templates. We included it on ours (and our website) but who knows if I would have if it hadn't been on the template.

kabieber

STDs are not a new "trend." People did them over a decade ago when I had my first wedding and are still doing them now. A 13 year time span is not a trend.

Perhaps they are not common in your circle, but I don't think it is necessary to add "Invitation to Follow" on a STD.

cnf2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-use-invitation-to-follow-on-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b878c3e2-edb5-4eea-9cee-8648e5be3b01Post:43d862f8-71d4-4b12-a5a2-18097d3c2072">Re: Tip: use "Invitation to Follow" on STDs!</a>:
[QUOTE]I did both. The STD "came" with the line "Formal invitation to follow" and I added our website under that. Haven't sent them out yet so idk how they will be received, but it made sense to me and FI
Posted by JennaMichelle88[/QUOTE]

<div>This is exactly what I did. Everyone was well aware of what they were receiving. </div>

lauralaur

I dunno Stage my aunt put that line on the STD magnet for my grandfather's 100th birthday party two years ago. So I've seen STDs, including that line as well, even outside of weddings.

We put the line on ours, I don't know whether or not it made a difference but the only person who was admittedly confused was my step-brother and I wasn't super surprised by it. He didn't try to RSVP, but he did awkwardly refer to it as my "pre-invitation."

dtbluv

I'm with Stage, I've never seen that on a STD. 

But, when all of my brother's (6 years older) friends were getting married, they never sent STDs.  My mom knew of them from co-workers and stuff, but they weren't at all common.  I get a save the date for every wedding I'm invited to now though.  So I think it really is an optional thing, and maybe it's one of those weird things that started as a trend, but is going to stick around.  Like low rise jeans, or soy milk.

libby2483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-use-invitation-to-follow-on-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b878c3e2-edb5-4eea-9cee-8648e5be3b01Post:aa87f116-68fa-4161-b14f-76d16549fe46">Re: Tip: use "Invitation to Follow" on STDs!</a>:
[QUOTE]This is so weird.  This thread is literally the first time I've ever even heard of putting this on an STD.  Who knew...
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>I've never gotten an STD that didn't say this.  I guess it depends on your circle.</div>

bridalmarch

I also get one for every wedding we are invited to, and have for at least a few years now. I think they all say invite to follow. We used that line, and no one tried to RSVP to our STD. 

Ha. RSVP to our STD. I swear I'm like 14 sometimes. 

GardenMaven

I made our save the dates and I put both "Formal invitation to follow" and our wedding website.  I read somewhere that that was what you should put on there.  Of course I don't remember where I read that now, but it would have been either my wedding planner book or TK.  

FI and I have also received many STD's in our nine years together.  And when I was still at home with my parents (so younger than 19), they received them too.  Some with the "invite to follow" some without.  We haven't had a single person try to RSVP after our's went out and some of FI's relatives are not from the US and not used to the customs here.  I could see people being confused if they had never seen a STD before, but it seems pretty obvious that is it not a formal invitation.  Regardless I always find it nice to hear from people, even if it is to preemptively RSVP!  :-)

hoffse

We only sent STDs to the people our age.  Several of my mom's friends independently told her they thought STDs were rude and AWish because it's a demand rather than a request and it brings your wedding to their attention way earlier than necessary.  On the other hand, I have friends who think they are B-listed if they don't get an STD.  It's sort of absurd.  So we ordered like 25, sent them to people who would have gotten offended by not receiving one, and then called it a day.  We didn't send them to our wedding party, and one of the groomsman told me he "never got our STD."  I said, "that's because we didn't send you one."  He was really taken aback.  Then I said, "do you know when our wedding is?"  He said yes.  So I was like, then why did you need one?  Apparently he hadn't thought of that...

The invitation to follow thing is optional.  I prefer to leave that off because it just sort of reinforces how redundant STDs are in my opinion.

lauralaur

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-use-invitation-to-follow-on-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b878c3e2-edb5-4eea-9cee-8648e5be3b01Post:d2fac929-a8ef-47ab-befc-290acf9a926d">Re: Tip: use "Invitation to Follow" on STDs!</a>:
[QUOTE]We only sent STDs to the people our age.  Several of my mom's friends independently told her they thought STDs were rude and AWish because it's a demand rather than a request and it brings your wedding to their attention way earlier than necessary.  On the other hand, I have friends who think they are B-listed if they don't get an STD.  It's sort of absurd.  So we ordered like 25, sent them to people who would have gotten offended by not receiving one, and then called it a day.  We didn't send them to our wedding party, and one of the groomsman told me he "never got our STD."  I said, "that's because we didn't send you one."  He was really taken aback.  Then I said, "do you know when our wedding is?"  He said yes.  So I was like, then why did you need one?  Apparently he hadn't thought of that... The invitation to follow thing is optional.  I prefer to leave that off because it just sort of reinforces how redundant STDs are in my opinion.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]

Personally I always think it's fun to get them even if I know the date, etc. because I keep them on my fridge like I do Christmas cards and thank you notes and the like. My brother has kept every STD he's ever received, they're on his fridge. It's really sweet.

H's cousin did them for her wedding in October which I did think was a little silly in that case because they only had a four month engagement, so invitations came fairly quickly after STDs.

I decided to do them largely because we had so many OOT guests; if people wanted to travel I wanted to give them advance notice.

yellowdaisies84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-use-invitation-to-follow-on-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b878c3e2-edb5-4eea-9cee-8648e5be3b01Post:e9ef8361-4b17-4540-9360-71f6cb2212c8">Re: Tip: use "Invitation to Follow" on STDs!</a>:
[QUOTE]I made our save the dates and I put both "Formal invitation to follow" and our wedding website.  I read somewhere that that was what you should put on there.  Of course I don't remember where I read that now, but it would have been either my wedding planner book or TK.   FI and I have also received many STD's in our nine years together.  And when I was still at home with my parents (so younger than 19), they received them too.  Some with the "invite to follow" some without.  We haven't had a single person try to RSVP after our's went out and some of FI's relatives are not from the US and not used to the customs here.  I could see people being confused if they had never seen a STD before, but it seems pretty obvious that is it not a formal invitation.  <strong>Regardless I always find it nice to hear from people, even if it is to preemptively RSVP</strong>!  :-)
Posted by GardenMaven[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Aww well that's nice and very true. :)

</div>

londonlamb

     When I sent out my STDs  i did use the phrase but i don't know how much it helped. I still had people E-mailing, calling and posting to me that they would come. However i also only sent them to those that would be traveling from out of town, East coast and china, so they would have time to find good air fare rates. However my FI grandma still called my FSIL to let her know that she got her invite but why didnt her sons. In this case i was very glad that she thought it was an invite because her sons were not even on the invite list, my FI completly forgot to tell me that his dad had brothers!  They live in wisconsin and he has not seen or talked to them in a decade or so but WTF.  They are now added and i am making him go through the whole family tree with me.