Inviting one co-worker and none of the others?

shanhou3 · September 2012

Having trouble figuring out what to do here... Neither my fiance or I were planning to invite any co-workers to our wedding, just to keep things simple (and affordable!).

However, my close girlfriend is in a relationship with one of my co-workers. As a result, this one co-worker will need to be invited, technically as the guest of my friend. I am happy to invite him, as we've become friends over the last several months working together and when us 2 couples get together outside of work. But I'm wondering how my other co-workers will feel about not being invited, and worrying they won't understand that he was really only invited because of his girlfriend, not because he is my favorite person at work (although that is true also!). I suppose I could just invite my boss and none of the other co-workers, so that at least if people are pissed my boss isn't one of them, but I don't know... I'm not very close to my boss either! I'd really prefer to not have anyone from work there except this one guy!

Any thoughts on how to handle this one??

lyradimer · September 2012

I think it is perfectly alright to just invite one of your coworkers, who you socialize with outside of work, and is dating a good friend of yours. I would recommend not mentioning it until closer to the date, just in case the worst should happen and they should split up. That would put you in a very awkward place. If you were inviting all but one, people could get offended, but your situation is fine.

itzMS · September 2012

This happened to me.

One of DH's best friends (and a groomsman) just so happened to also work at my company in the same department.

Talk to the guy co-worker privately and just ask him not to talk about your wedding at work. Not that guys talk about weddings anyways!

It'll be just fine!

pegasuskat · September 2012

For me it would depend on the size of the office, it its small I would invite them so as not to hurt any feelings. You have to go back and work with these people when the wedding is over. If you don't have room and can't add them then just ask the close friend not to talk about your wedding while your at work, there is no reason for anybody to even know.

Kate61487 · September 2012

You are absolutely a-okay to just invite him. Even if it wasn't only b/c he's someone's date it sounds like he's the only one you really socialize with outside of the office, and that makes it okay too. Like PP said meniton to him that he'll be the only one invited so he knows not to talk about it at work and you should be fine.

boomboom1243 · September 2012

two of my co-workers are in my bridal party and another is on my fiances party. we are good friends and see each other out of work so although some have asked me to be invited(i know so rude) I just cant invite the entire office. I think people might be bummed but also might be happy they arnt getting invited some might feel obligated to go if you ask even if they do not want to. I felt this way when my manager invited me to her sisters babyshower who also worked in the office. its your wedding day and you get to chose who is there and people understand especially in your situation that he is dating a dear friend of urs.

azdancer8 · September 2012

It's fine to invite just the one co-worker. I agree that he is not likely to talk about wedding stuff at the office anyways. When it's time for invitations to go out, just address one to your girlfriend with his name on it (assuming they're still together then). It doesn't even have to come up at the office at all.

Jen4948 · October 2012

In this instance, you're inviting this person in his capacity as plus one of your friend, not in the capacity of co-worker. So I think you're fine to invite him but no other co-workers, especially if you don't have social relationships with them.