Bridal Shower woes

bdub929

Ok, my mother and mother in-law are planning my bridal shower for me. My mother is only inviting 4 people...my mother in-law sent me a list of 30+. It is turning into more of a party for my mother in-law to see all of her friends (she lives out of town). I tried speaking to her today about my concerns for inviting so many people, on top of half the list she gave me are not invited to the wedding, she insists that these people will not be offended, but I still have concerns. On top of it, half of the list of people I etiher do not know that well, or do not know at all. I tried to voice my concern and told her that I want a more intimate party, but she insisted. I don't want to start off on the wrong foot with her, but I also don't want this to continue into my marriage with my soon to be husband! Any Advice?!?!?

LeiselEB

Tell her that if she wants to invite people that are not invited to the wedding then you'd rather not attend the shower. Be firm about it. 

Since she's hosting, the number of people is more up to her than to you, but I understand why you'd want to keep people off the shower guest list if they are not on the wedding guest list. I met some of FI's relatives for the first time at the shower his aunts threw for me, and it really wasn't that bad. 

TheBaney

I'm not sure if this is one of those instances where if someone else is behaving rudely, it won't reflect on you. If it were me, I might just tell her that I really didn't want such a large shower, and that it might be best if she hosted a party after the wedding for her friends to celebrate. I think your only options would be to either hope people know that you aren't the rude one and grin and bear it, or to politely decline the shower altogether...

Good luck!

GretchenLaRoux

Just say no.

Seriously. Tell her if she is going to insist upon inviting people to the shower who aren't invited to the wedding, you can politely decline the shower. It is rude, and they probably will assume they are invited to the wedding, and will likely be offended if they're not, despite what your MIL thinks about their potential reactions.