Rehearsal Dinner Issues

pprbckwrtr · February 2013

So far planning (all by myself, which I am proud of!) has been great and no-stress (somehow). Except now when it comes to rehearsal dinner. My future Mother-In-Law told me she would cover it, but is set on having dinner in a very fancy part of our town, making it difficult to find a place that is within her (very low) budget. I know they do not have a great deal of money, and frankly it doesn't matter to me where we eat, but it has gone from her wanting to originally invite all her visiting family to now she just wants it to be bridal party only, no parents, grandparents, or bridal party SOs. How do I politely let her know that I'd really like it to be a more traditional guest list instead of just bridal party, and tell her that the cost per plate won't matter to me or anyone else invited (as long as there is food and beer!). Has anyone else had this issue or something similar?

misssunshine17 · February 2013

If she refuses to invite your parents or BP significant others, decline her offer and plan the rehearsal dinner yourself. Your FI should have this conversation with her, not you (only because she'll pin it on you). Have pizza and beer and call it a day. You can also skip the rehearsal, if your ceremony will be straight forward.

Summer2011Bride · February 2013

Yeah I would find it weird to not have the parents at a RD.

Unfortunately, you can't really say, "I want to invite all these people, so please have it here instead and pay for more people." It was kind of her to offer to pay, but if you don't like the dinner she is offering, then you guys should fund it yourself, have it elsewhere, and have the guest list you want.

ETA: And no bridal party SOs is rude, so definitely make sure if she insists on paying and does amend the guest list, she includes SOs or I would still offer to do it yourself.

JaxInBlue · February 2013

Agree with PPs. Your FI should lead a conversation with her where you both politely decline her offer. You two can then plan an event that is more inclusive of the people you would like to invite.