Possibly Changing Wedding Date

matuofm · April 2011

Hi, everyone. I wanted to run this by you to see if FI and I are on the right page here.

We've chosen the venue that we want, and it's open on one of the two dates this September that we would have been happy with.

This morning, I mentioned to FI that before we put down our deposit, we should call our closest family members and make sure that they'll be available on that day. He agrees. We certainly don't want to book, then find out that Grandma'll be in Cancun that weekend and have to lose our deposit because we're certainly not getting married without Grandma being there.

But then he mentions that we could send out a mass FB message to the rest of his extended family (they don't see each other much IRL, but are very chatty on FB), asking if that date works for everyone else.

I feel that this is a bad idea, because we are not actually willing to change our wedding date if 2nd Cousin Laurelyn can't come. And if we ask everyone if the date is good for them, and she says no, but then we have the wedding on that date anyway, I feel like that will be saying to Cousin Laurelyn that while other people on the list were important enough that we were willing to change the date for them, she clearly is not. FI agreed that he sees the point of this, but we thought we'd like you guys' thoughts. Thanks!

Avion22 · April 2011

Just ask those people that you feel MUST be there. A phone call is fine.

marinabreeze · April 2011

I agree with you and I think your way is best. I don't think that a mass FB email to extended family members is a great idea, especially for what you want to do. If there are specific people that you can't see yourself getting married without, call them up and ask them about the date.

tidetravel · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_possibly-changing-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bc6216f9-f073-4899-9056-8016567e9d2dPost:515682fb-c49f-45c3-8e77-f3103c1ea809">Possibly Changing Wedding Date</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi, everyone. I wanted to run this by you to see if FI and I are on the right page here. We've chosen the venue that we want, and it's open on one of the two dates this September that we would have been happy with. This morning, I mentioned to FI that before we put down our deposit, we should call our closest family members and make sure that they'll be available on that day. He agrees. We certainly don't want to book, then find out that Grandma'll be in Cancun that weekend and have to lose our deposit because we're certainly not getting married without Grandma being there. But then he mentions that we could send out a mass FB message to the rest of his extended family (they don't see each other much IRL, but are very chatty on FB), asking if that date works for everyone else. I feel that this is a bad idea, because we are not actually willing to change our wedding date if 2nd Cousin Laurelyn can't come. And if we ask everyone if the date is good for them, and she says no, but then we have the wedding on that date anyway, I feel like that will be saying to Cousin Laurelyn that while other people on the list were important enough that we were willing to change the date for them, she clearly is not. FI agreed that he sees the point of this, but we thought we'd like you guys' thoughts. Thanks!
Posted by matuofm[/QUOTE]
Yes to asking close friends/family (those people whom you could not imagine getting married without); no to the mass FB message. You're not going to be able to please everyone - the less opinions that are involved, the better.