An Etiquette Anecdote (say it 3 times fast!)

Knottie_22382102

I was just talking to a client of mine about my wedding and she was telling me about hers last summer. Wow.

The booked a venue that suggested they book the 75 person function room because they believe only 65-75% of those invited actually come (they were inviting 100) and because they only do one wedding a day, they could always upgrade the room. The bride chose the 150 person room instead, just in case of 100% attendance and also in case of bad weather so they could have ceremony indoors.

 She called in the 80 count 2 weeks before. 1 week before, a large family who declined asked if they could still accept. She called the venue to ask  and found out they booked the 150 person room (that she contracted) last minute. She refused to cancel it because that event had a bigger party and would be more money for them during the rough economy and would make it work for them.

No kids were invited. Her aunt (who is a widow) asked if her 16 y.o. son could be her date. They said yes. He brought his girlfriend and their screaming baby. Apparently the aunt told people it was ok to bring their kids and brought them without asking. So now they were right around 100 or so.

 

During the ceremony, the baby started screaming so she started breastfeeding the baby right there. The groom saw it happen and couldn’t get it out of his head. He kept giggling during the ceremony and couldn’t exactly tell anyone what was so funny to him. She started giggling because his giggling was funny. After, when he told her, she could not believe the girl just whipped it out during the wedding.

 

The room was FULL of tables and completely cramped.  When people were done eating, they had to remove some tables to make room for dancing and tried to push people to their bar area in another room if they wanted to mingle more.

 

In the end, they brought the venue to small claims court and got $2k back overall for a number of things. The vendor tried counter sue for libel because the bride posted reviews all over the place about her wedding….and the judge denied it because all the things she wrote were true.

lilphillips14

All I can say is wow. 

rachelm13

Wowsers.

PS:  The Great Muppet Caper was on tv last night.  It is still by far my favorite.

aurianna

I'm confused how nearly 20 kids magically appeared?
The guests that just went on the word of the aunt instead of the invite were stupid. The aunt was annoying.

The 2k from the vendor was nice... but I wouldn't be inviting that aunt to anything ever again.

lovesclimbing

In Response to Re:An Etiquette Anecdote say it 3 times fast!:[QUOTE]In the end, they brought the venue to small claims court and got 2k back overall for a number of things. The vendor tried counter sue for libel because the bride posted reviews all over the place about her weddinghellip;.and the judge denied it because all the things she wrote were true. Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

Good for her! I would be disappointed if she didn't post all over the place.

Loopyseven

While that does sound like a disaster, I don't think anything was particularly rude.  And the being crammed into the smaller room seems like a bad decision on the part of the vendor, and shouldn't be blamed on the bride and groom.  Maybe the bf'ing mom during the ceremony. I probably would have left the immediate area to take care of my business given the nature of the event, or at least covered up.. 

Knottie_22382102

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_an-etiquette-anecdote-say-it-3-times-fast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcfa2ec2-9cdb-434a-93f7-ad8796684c8ePost:7bfa6357-b3f2-42d2-83a5-aab752ee17b4">Re: An Etiquette Anecdote (say it 3 times fast!)</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm confused how nearly 20 kids magically appeared? The guests that just went on the word of the aunt instead of the invite were stupid. The aunt was annoying. The 2k from the vendor was nice... but I wouldn't be inviting that aunt to anything ever again.
Posted by aurianna[/QUOTE]

They originally had about 80 RSVP yes. Then, a large family who had originally declined asked if they could come the week before the wedding. I had edited the details down because it was a really long post, but her husband was from like 400 miles away and the group of family they invited had originally declined because of the distance but someone borrowed the church van and brought everyone there. I think it was like 8 or 9 people.

Then like 6 kids they werent aware of until the RD appeared. So it was around 95 people that attended, but I just said "closer to the 100".

She said her aunt "misunderstood". Luckily, it was a buffet.

Knottie_22382102

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_an-etiquette-anecdote-say-it-3-times-fast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcfa2ec2-9cdb-434a-93f7-ad8796684c8ePost:217d3de7-42e8-40ff-ac6b-70711d772479">Re: An Etiquette Anecdote (say it 3 times fast!)</a>:
[QUOTE]While that does sound like a disaster, I don't think anything was particularly rude.  And the being crammed into the smaller room seems like a bad decision on the part of the vendor, and shouldn't be blamed on the bride and groom.  Maybe the bf'ing mom during the ceremony. I probably would have left the immediate area to take care of my business given the nature of the event, or at least covered up.. 
Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]

I think the aunt inviting her kid as her plus one, but then also taking the liberty of having her sons girlfriend and screaming baby was pretty rude. I know breastfeeding is natural and all but i think it's inappropriate for a wedding ceremony (just go off to the side), and her aunt telling other family members their kids were welcome was pretty rude.

The rest was crappy vendor issues.

Knottie_22382102

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_an-etiquette-anecdote-say-it-3-times-fast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcfa2ec2-9cdb-434a-93f7-ad8796684c8ePost:5f7c9a85-594b-44ad-86bd-a764b8033857">Re: An Etiquette Anecdote (say it 3 times fast!)</a>:
[QUOTE]Wowsers. PS:  The Great Muppet Caper was on tv last night.  It is still by far my favorite.
Posted by rachelm13[/QUOTE]

It was on the other day too. It overjoyed me.

Andama08

Wow! This is exactly why I plan to have my aunt stand at the door of our reception venue and check names off. Whoever has not RSVP'd and isn't on the list won't be let in. When I was younger if my parents received an invite that said "and family" they would still always double check with the bride and groom if they meant children as well. Some people can be so inconsiderate.

Knottie_22382102

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_an-etiquette-anecdote-say-it-3-times-fast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcfa2ec2-9cdb-434a-93f7-ad8796684c8ePost:e3994ceb-b2f5-45e8-8055-6bd311b490b9">Re:An Etiquette Anecdote say it 3 times fast!</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow! This is exactly why I plan to have my aunt stand at the door of our reception venue and check names off. Whoever has not RSVP'd and isn't on the list won't be let in. When I was younger if my parents received an invite that said "and family" they would still always double check with the bride and groom if they meant children as well. Some people can be so inconsiderate.
Posted by Andama08[/QUOTE]

Wow. Are you really anticipating that many crashers??

I'd actually find that odd if I were a guest unless I were going to a celebrity's party....in which case I'd be like, "Oh yeah, I'm on the guest list...that's my name, right there..."

Ven&Radio

Wow.   Just wow.

I was out in Boston recently and overheard a conversation that I think was about a wedding.  At any rate it was a good reminder to follow up with people who do not RSVP.  The gist of what I heard was that so many people showed up who didn't RSVP that the host (bride?) had to tell everyone to go home due to "unforseen circumstances" because they ran out of food.

arrippa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_an-etiquette-anecdote-say-it-3-times-fast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcfa2ec2-9cdb-434a-93f7-ad8796684c8ePost:e3eb784e-f12e-4d95-b058-7fd301cbf607">Re: An Etiquette Anecdote (say it 3 times fast!)</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow.   Just wow. I was out in Boston recently and overheard a conversation that I think was about a wedding.  At any rate it was a good reminder to follow up with people who do not RSVP.  The gist of what I heard was that so many people showed up who didn't RSVP that the host (bride?) had to tell everyone to go home due to "unforseen circumstances" because they ran out of food.
Posted by Ven&Radio[/QUOTE]

That sounds like the party they threw for the new Restoration Hardware store on Newbury St.

Andama08

Not necessarily wedding crashers but people who dont feel it's necessary to RSVP and still think its ok to show up and eat. A friend of mine had over 20 people show up who did not RSVP and/or originally declined.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_an-etiquette-anecdote-say-it-3-times-fast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcfa2ec2-9cdb-434a-93f7-ad8796684c8ePost:145b8989-c407-42e6-acec-c33b2558aaf3">Re:An Etiquette Anecdote say it 3 times fast!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:An Etiquette Anecdote say it 3 times fast! : Wow. Are you really anticipating that many crashers?? I'd actually find that odd if I were a guest unless I were going to a celebrity's party....in which case I'd be like, "Oh yeah, I'm on the guest list...that's my name, right there..."
Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

amalama

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_an-etiquette-anecdote-say-it-3-times-fast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcfa2ec2-9cdb-434a-93f7-ad8796684c8ePost:8c8f1f59-df9e-4eda-bff4-7b68174f36f8">Re:An Etiquette Anecdote say it 3 times fast!</a>:
[QUOTE]Not necessarily wedding crashers but people who dont feel it's necessary to RSVP and still think its ok to show up and eat. A friend of mine had over 20 people show up who did not RSVP and/or originally declined. In Response to Re:An Etiquette Anecdote say it 3 times fast! :
Posted by Andama08[/QUOTE]

<div>Did she call them and check if they were coming? This sort of baffles me. I get a few people forgetting to RSVP, but then when they get a phone call still not feeling the need to?</div>

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_an-etiquette-anecdote-say-it-3-times-fast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcfa2ec2-9cdb-434a-93f7-ad8796684c8ePost:ffc3bf04-9c58-4611-84e8-8c86ae7b0428">An Etiquette Anecdote (say it 3 times fast!)</a>:
[QUOTE]I was just talking to a client of mine about my wedding and she was telling me about hers last summer. Wow. The booked a venue that suggested they book the 75 person function room because they believe only 65-75% of those invited actually come (they were inviting 100) and because they only do one wedding a day, they could always upgrade the room. The bride chose the 150 person room instead, just in case of 100% attendance and also in case of bad weather so they could have ceremony indoors.  She called in the 80 count 2 weeks before. 1 week before, a large family who declined asked if they could still accept. She called the venue to ask   and found out they booked the 150 person room (that she contracted) last minute. She refused to cancel it because that event had a bigger party and would be more money for them during the rough economy and would make it work for them. No kids were invited. Her aunt (who is a widow) asked if her 16 y.o. son could be her date. They said yes. He brought his girlfriend and their screaming baby. Apparently the aunt told people it was ok to bring their kids and brought them without asking. So now they were right around 100 or so.   During the ceremony, the baby started screaming so she started breastfeeding the baby right there.<strong> The groom saw it happen and couldn’t get it out of his head. He kept giggling during the ceremony and couldn’t exactly tell anyone what was so funny to him.</strong> She started giggling because his giggling was funny. After, when he told her, she could not believe the girl just whipped it out during the wedding.   The room was FULL of tables and completely cramped.   When people were done eating, they had to remove some tables to make room for dancing and tried to push people to their bar area in another room if they wanted to mingle more.   In the end, they brought the venue to small claims court and got $2k back overall for a number of things. The vendor tried counter sue for libel because the bride posted reviews all over the place about her wedding….and the judge denied it because all the things she wrote were true.
Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

<div>He sounds mature.</div>

MoonlightSilver

It was really bad of the aunt to let the plus 1 turn into a plus one and baby, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with breastfeeding at a wedding. It's probably a lot less distracting to just feed the baby than try to squish her way out, or pull out a huge blanket to cover up.

I can't imagine having to deal with a venue that booked the wrong room, and a smaller one at that.

Knottie_22382102

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_an-etiquette-anecdote-say-it-3-times-fast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcfa2ec2-9cdb-434a-93f7-ad8796684c8ePost:5bd22a6d-ab56-42f0-a949-143cbee355d6">Re: An Etiquette Anecdote (say it 3 times fast!)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to An Etiquette Anecdote (say it 3 times fast!) : He sounds mature.
Posted by Domino04[/QUOTE]

I only know the wife, but I can imagine someone being caught off guard on a stressful day buy a full boob presented right befoe saying the vows.

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_an-etiquette-anecdote-say-it-3-times-fast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bcfa2ec2-9cdb-434a-93f7-ad8796684c8ePost:37473682-3890-40aa-a4bf-e89919c7540b">Re: An Etiquette Anecdote (say it 3 times fast!)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: An Etiquette Anecdote (say it 3 times fast!) : I think the aunt inviting her kid as her plus one, but then also taking the liberty of having her sons girlfriend and screaming baby was pretty rude. I know breastfeeding is natural and all but i think it's inappropriate for a wedding ceremony (just go off to the side), and her aunt telling other family members their kids were welcome was pretty rude. The rest was crappy vendor issues.
Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that was rude and I'd be pissed if an uninvited baby was screaming through my wedding ceremony because I would not get to do it again (unless I remarried).

The vendor booking the wrong room in the first place and then giving pushback was crap too.