Can I not invite friends children to the wedding??

eslemko

I really would rather not have children at our wedding but we are getting married in a different city and my hubby-to-be has a niece that he really wants to be the flower girl. I also have two 6 year old cousins that I HAVE to invite (even tho they are complete brats). Can I ask my friends not to bring their kids? Or is that completely wrong??

I just don't want kids running around. Can I only have family children at the wedding? (because there is no way I can get out of not having them)?

Any suggestions would be helpful!! Thanks

Summer2011Bride

Just inviting the flower girl is fine. Just inviting family children is fine. Inviting no children at all and not having a FG is fine. Just address invitations to the adults only; you don't want to come out and say, "hey your kids aren't invited" unless they RSVP for their kids too, in which case, you'll need to call them and explain the invitation is just for them.

NOLAbridealmost

Etiquette says you can invite any kids you want.  In fact, you don't have to invite any kids ever even if you invite others.   

As a practical matter, it's best to go in clearly cut groups to avoid hurting feelings. "Kids of family only" is a very clear group. Done and done.   

manjermj

Yep! That's what we're doing. Only kids that are first cousins and the ones in the wedding. Just address the invitations to exactly who is invited. If you don't want to invite their kids, just address it to the parents and most will get the hint.  I they RSVP for including their children, just call them and explain that the only children invited are first cousins and the one in the wedding party.

OliveOilsMom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-i-not-invite-friends-children-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bd9a8464-63be-4a75-a921-2d7f77f730edPost:b54cd625-c183-452a-b154-e23b1226abbc">Can I not invite friends children to the wedding??</a>:
[QUOTE]I really would rather not have children at our wedding but we are getting married in a different city and my hubby-to-be has a niece that he really wants to be the flower girl.<strong> I also have two 6 year old cousins that I HAVE to invite (even tho they are complete brats)</strong>. Can I ask my friends not to bring their kids? Or is that completely wrong?? I just don't want kids running around. Can I only have family children at the wedding? (because there is no way I can get out of not having them)? Any suggestions would be helpful!! Thanks
Posted by eslemko[/QUOTE]

Who is paying for the wedding?  If you and FI are only paying for the wedding, then you do not HAVE to invite anyone you don't want.  As PP said, it's best to invite in circles.  So only kids in the WP, neices and nephews only, etc.  As long as your line is clear, you will be good.

emeejeeayen

Personally, I'm jealous. There are no young children in either of our families and also none of our friends have kids, so no adorable flower girl or ring bearer. Our dachshund is doing both jobs, though

Sorry, ^^ wasn't super helpful, but I agree with PP. 

Jen4948

You can invite any kids, no kids, or anything in between.  If you do invite kids, it's a kindness to keep family units together (that is, invite all kids with their parents or none), but this is not an absolute requirement of etiquette.

pink34562000

If you want to have an adults only wedding, address the response cards like this:

We have reserved 2 seats for Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.

John ____accepts _____regrets
Jane _____accepts _____regrets

Even if John and Jane Doe had kids, they would know that their kids are not invited to the wedding. If you are inviting kids, you would list each child on the response card and add more seats. We addressed all of our response cards like this and had no issues.