Update ** On Not inviting 2nd cousins

riverstarr

Thanks everyone for your input

Loopyseven

Just tell you you're happy she is going to come to the Ceremony and you look forward to seeing her there.  She will be missed at the reception.

Loopyseven

The wedding is in a public church - any who wants to come is welcome.

jessicabessica

I agree with Loopy.  I think she's just trying to provoke you by asking you what you think about her bringing your cousin to the ceremony.  Just tell her you are glad she will make it to the ceremony, but she'll be missed at the reception, and leave it at that.  I understand that you feel bad that she'll be leaving after the ceremony, but it's her choice.  

tidetravel

It's her choice to attend the ceremony only, and if she wants to do it because she thinks it's an "eff you" gesture, just smile.  You are under no obligation to invite either of those people to the reception.  I'd just tell her, "You know what, Great Aunt?  You're right; it is a public place.  If you and your daughter choose to attend of your own volition, then we'll be happy to see you there.  However, we cannot expand the guest list for the reception." 

Irishcurls

I missed the original post, but going back and rereading it, it sounds like this is just that side of the family's MO? With the initial bothering of the grandparents, and the cousin asking to be invited to your bachelorette?? Sort of crossing the line IMO. I think Great Aunt found a wonderful solution for herself, and I would just acknowledge that when she calls. "Well I'm so happy you will be there to witness our exchange of vows, that really means a lot to us."