Wedding Etiquette Forum

Should a bridesmaid get the newlyweds a gift?

I am a bridesmaid in a wedding in a couple of months. I am spending a lot of money to be a part of the wedding. I don't want to be rude, but buying a wedding present would stretch my budget. What is the proper etiquette?

Re: Should a bridesmaid get the newlyweds a gift?

  • I think something small would be nice, but I didn't expect anything from the two girls that were on my side, because of the reason you mentioned. One spent money on shoes, dress, paid for my nails and make-up (totally unexpected) as well as split the cost with a couple other girls for my bach party. The other did jackshiit except show up (barely on time, and left immediately after pics), but I couldn't tell you if she got us a gift or not.
    image
  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited February 2012
    You don't have to get a gift, but maybe a card or something?
    image
  • not necessary.  If you want to it's always appreciated, but I'm sure the bride and groom realize you're already shelling out quite a bit of cash.

    If you still want to get her something you could always go the more sentimental route - maybe the first pic of you two together?  or just a heartfelt note in a card?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-a-bridesmaid-get-the-newlyweds-a-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:be5a7683-1ce8-4477-afe2-4ff47054d577Post:e1f1891a-d66f-494d-8279-3dfb39388211">Re: Should a bridesmaid get the newlyweds a gift?</a>:
    [QUOTE]not necessary.  If you want to it's always appreciated, but I'm sure the bride and groom realize you're already shelling out quite a bit of cash. If you still want to get her something you could always go the more sentimental route - <strong>maybe the first pic of you two together?</strong>  or just a heartfelt note in a card?
    Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

    Oh yeah, good idea. My on-the-ball BM did this. They have a pottery throwing place where she lives, and she went and made a little frame with a line from our favorite song on it, and a picture.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-a-bridesmaid-get-the-newlyweds-a-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:be5a7683-1ce8-4477-afe2-4ff47054d577Post:c879b467-6de4-40dd-9c42-bbe7609852a0">Re: Should a bridesmaid get the newlyweds a gift?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Should a bridesmaid get the newlyweds a gift? : Oh yeah, good idea. My on-the-ball BM did this. They have a pottery throwing place where she lives, and she went and made a little frame with a line from our favorite song on it, and a picture.
    Posted by whitsy[/QUOTE]

    I love the personalized frame idea :-)  I was also thinking maybe the photog could get a pic of the two of them holding the picture; especially if we're talking childhood friends where the age would be really obvious
  • When I've been a BM I've always purchased a gift for my friend. And all the other BMs I knew did the same.
  • meganb1977meganb1977 member
    First Comment
    edited February 2012
    I like the track that pp's are on of giving a little something that is thoughtful and sentimental, you don't have to spend a lot.
    Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.
  • I think maybe one of the advantages of being a bridesmaid is that you probably know the couple very well, which means you can probably come up with a cute/thoughtful/even handmade gift that won't cost a bunch. I personally like picking out gifts for weddings, so I'd probably buy them something small.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Agree with PPs - a nice card with a long note and a thoughtful, personal gift that doesn't cost much but will have tons of value, if you know what I mean?
  • In the last wedding I was in, I got them a small gift card where they were registered as well as a card. After buying plane tickets (plus the obvious dress and shoes) that was all I could do and they understood.
    Anniversary
  • Mostly a lurker but just to throw another opinion out there:

    Both times I've been in a wedding party, all of the bridesmaids pitched in and got one gift for the bridal shower and one for the wedding.  Not sure if that is Etiquette Board - Approved but it worked for us.  The bride and groom got some larger registry items and we all spent less than we would have if we'd each chosen separate items from the registry.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • You don't have to get them a gift, but I think you could find something thoughtful and inexpensive, and I'm sure that they would really appreciate the thought.
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