RSVP Problem

Jessica1101

Hi all,

Looking for feedback on this one.  I sent an invite to my cousin, her husband and their college aged son and the RSVP came back with my cousin, her son and the son's girlfriend, who wasn't invited.

I'd like to know what may be a polite way to handle this. Our guest list was short, we didn't even invite some 1st cousins and not only did this RSVP come late, I wasn't even called or asked if it was ok that they "switch" invitees.

Not sure if I shoud let it go since technically it's the same number of people attending (they didn't add someone just replaced) and I don't want to create family drama but of course I'm put off by this. I'm not sure how people have the nerve to do this kind of thing for a wedding.

Do I just let it go and let the added girlfriend attend or so I say something?  Do I politely not allow her to attend since she wasn't invited (there was no "and guest" on the invite). Other college aged children weren't allowed to bring guests and again, we were strict about the list.

Anyone else run into anything like this? Thanks for the advice!

-Jessica

heyimbren

How long have the cousin and his GF been together?

I think switching invites is distasteful, but it really doesn't change your numbers. I don't think I'd bother making a fuss about it when it barely affects you, and especially if the cousin and GF will have been together for a while when the wedding comes around.

ehathewa

College students are not children, they are adults. 
I would let them bring a +1 since it is a girl friend and not a random date.  I think that is the common ettiquette too. 

redheadfsu

Since you should have invited his girlfriend to begin with, I'd let it go. (I'm assuming that they have been together more than a few weeks.)

pumpkinpumpkin

You definitely probably should have sent a separate invite to your cousin if he's over 18. It's proper etiquette to include his girlfriend if they've been dating for a long time/serious.

If you don't want him to bring her, phone him and politely explain that due to budget restrictions/venue size/whatever that you can't accommodate his guest.

I'd say to be prepared for him to not come if he can't bring her.

mysticl

If you call and say you can't accomodate due to size and buget he isn't going to believe you since you were able to accomodate his father.  This is really a pick your battles kind of thing.  Is it worth the long term family drama?

Jessica1101

Hi all, Thanks for the responses, I appreciate the advice.

-Jessica