His aunts to bridal shower?!?!

kmcclureces

Need some help on this one!  I've asked my mom, his stepmom, and a few others but can't get a clear answer. 

I'm having my bridal shower soon and can't figure out the ettiquete of inviting his aunts.  All of his aunts live out of state...and we both barely know of a few of them.  He has only seen a few of them before in person, etc.  His parents are divored and remarried, so still not sure on the whole step-aunt issue as well.  

  I'm having all of my aunts invited as they live in town and have been apart of my life since birth.  I don't want to offend anyone from not inviting them....but I really really doubt they will come.  Plus will they feel obligated to send a gift?!?  feel that I am damned if I do, damned if I don't! 

Please advise! 

mica178

Unless there's a family tradition of inviting all close family to showers, I'd leave them off.  I feel obligated to send gifts to showers, even if I don't attend.  For random relatives that live out of state and have no relationship with you, that's an unnecessary burden.

[Deleted User]

That is a hard call. But if you barely know them, I guess they wouldn't feel left out if they weren't invited. And besides, it might look gift grabby if you barely know them.

DramaGeek

I think it depends on the family.  I'm really close with my aunt who lives 2500 miles from me, but she was not invited to the shower because we knew she wouldn't be able to make it.  She sent a gift anyway :-P

On the other hand, my friend's family gets very offended if not invited to things like that.  She is not close to them, doesn't particularly like them, but even so I had to invite all 10 of them to her baby shower because it would cause major family drama to not invite them.  They never even bothered to RSVP :-/

In this situation, I'd say as long as it won't cause issues within the family, I wouldn't invite them.

katiewhompus

What answer did his mom give? She would probably have a better idea over the feelings of her relatives in regards to receiving an invite or not. I have no expectation of my aunts or H's aunts attending our baby shower but they were still sent invites because both sets of parents informed the host that they would be very hurt to not receive the invite.

kgorman307

My mom, sisters, and MOH are throwing me a shower where they all live. All FI's family will be out of state and a far trip. My FMIL showed an interest in attending when she spoke with my mom about it, so my mom emailed her and asked her to send a list of those she wished to be invited.

I don't know who these aunts are related to, but I would do the equivalent of this. If you ask the person related to the aunts if they should be invited and let them make the call, no one can be offended.

baystateapple

I had two showers, one in CT (thrown by my MOH and my BMs) and one in MA thrown by my MIL.  All of H's aunts were invited to the MA shower, because they are all really close and H has a tight-knit family.  But if your FIL's aren't as close, I think you're okay leaving them off.  I would talk it over with your FMIL, just to make sure it would be okay.

GeauxTigers17

Definitely go by your FMIL's advice- I didn't gather from your OP whether you'd talked to her or just stepmom, but unless she gives you a very clear "yes, invite them because that's how our family works" then I would leave them off due to the lack of a relationship.