How to Not Invite a Crazy Friend.

MusicEBA22

I have a dear friend from college who’s company I enjoy in small doses. My fiancé and pretty much all of my friends who have ever met her are much happier when she is not around (she is very loud and dramatic and likes to be the center of attention).  We are planning a wedding on a cruise ship and I’m not sure how to handle not inviting her to the wedding while several of my other close friends that she knows will be invited/attending. She is always saying how I’m one of her best friends, and when one of her other best friends didn’t put her in the bridal party for political reasons, she had an absolute fit about it. Is there a way to politely not invite her while still avoiding the potential repercussions or do I just have to “suck-it-up” and deal? (If I do invite her, she will figure out a way to afford the trip and come)

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-not-invite-a-crazy-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bea688c7-8525-46e4-bb80-55dee9dfb1eaPost:67631a09-7908-4823-a594-bfa93fa1b338">How to Not Invite a Crazy Friend.</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a dear friend from college who’s company I enjoy in small doses. My fiancé and pretty much all of my friends who have ever met her are much happier when she is not around (she is very loud and dramatic and likes to be the center of attention).  We are planning a wedding on a cruise ship and I’m not sure how to handle not inviting her to the wedding while several of my other close friends that she knows will be invited/attending. She is always saying how I’m one of her best friends, and when one of her other best friends didn’t put her in the bridal party for political reasons, she had an absolute fit about it. Is there a way to politely not invite her while still avoiding the potential repercussions or do I just have to “suck-it-up” and deal? (If I do invite her, she will figure out a way to afford the trip and come)
Posted by MusicEBA22[/QUOTE]

DH and I had a friend like this. She is fine in private in small doses, but in large groups can be a little much to take. I've distanced myself from her as a result. That and her relationship with her FI got really creepy (they started dating mid-month, but decided to make their anniversary on the 4th of September so it would be "just like" mine and DH's dating anniversary... we chose an August wedding, they chose an August wedding and admitted it was to be like DH and I. It's just weird)...

Anyhow, we sucked it up and invited her and her FI to avoid the drama that not inviting her would have inevitably caused. She was actually a lot of fun and not over the top like we expected. I didn't spend a ton of time with her, but she didn't get on my nerves at all the time that I did spend with her.

kmmssg

What do you want your future relationship to be like?  If you don't invite her, chances are she will have another absolute fit.  Should that happen, how will things play out?

In all honesty, you can either distance yourself from her and the friendship, sending it down memory lane, or you can suck it up and invite her.  It is great that you like her in small doses, but how does that feel from her end of things?  If you treat her like a friend seen in small doses, that probably isn't the best way to treat a friend.  I totally get having to do it, but either distance yourself or accept her as is.  I think those are more fair to her than keeping her at an arm's length and seeing her in those small doses.

TheWeddingBunny

Think of the comfort of your other guests as well as yourself.  If the drama of not inviting her is less than the drams or inviting her, invite her.  If her presence will ruin the experience for others, then don't invite her.  If you do not invite her, be prepared for that to be a friendship ending decision.

You could possibly try to have a heart to heart with her, but I don't see that working without drawing tons of tohers into the mix

MusicEBA22

Thanks for all of the advice. I really appreciate it.

OwningAHome1981

If u want any future friendship with her, invite her. If you don't invite her, you may lose her friendship. Decide what's more important and go with it. Decide if you're willing to give up the friendship or not. Also if you're having a large wedding, you'll be so busy talking and dancing with other guests that ur time with her will be minimal anyway.

kvsingleton86

I have a friend like that as well unfortunately. I am not inviting her even though her brother who is dating my MOH is invited. He has been forbidden to tell the date and place because I know that she would show up if he did. This sounds mean but I have distanced myself from her and have talked to her 2 times in 2yrs. However, she still considers herself my BFF. My advice to you is not to invite her. There may be hurt feelings later but for that day, YOUR DAY, you will have peace.