Inviting only older kids in a family?

fadingdawn20

We have a friend that goes to our church who has 8 kids ranging in age from 7-22. The 6 younger ones all come to our church because they live with their dad every other weekend. We are only somewhat close to the 2 teenage daughters and the dad. We are not close to the younger kids at all, and I don't think they would be interested in coming to our wedding.

My question is would it be considered rude not to invite the young children, just the teens? I'm clueless on this.

*ETA: we are inviting other younger children, but only ones that are relatives or that we are close to.

Beachy730

I think any rules that exclude only certain members of a family is rude, unless you are doing general cuts.  The only way I think it is acceptable is if you make your entire wedding kids over 12 only, or over 18 only, or something like that.  By doing it as a rule for you whole guest list, you aren't just picking and choosing kids from a family.  But however you do it, if you choose to exclude certain members from a family, you need to accept the fact that they may decline your invite.  People decline all the time if they can't bring their kids.

aMrsin09

Is your wedding on a Dad weekend or a non Dad weekend.? If it's on a non-dad weekend, i wouldn't worry about it.  A random wedding isn't usually worth the hassle of changing visitations.

twilight.rose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-only-older-kids-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c03a1add-e5d4-4e19-a0c5-7c2291b14a99Post:3a79ae14-2092-4869-8423-6bde02dea40b">Inviting only older kids in a family?</a>:
[QUOTE]We have a friend that goes to our church who has 8 kids ranging in age from 7-22. The 6 younger ones all come to our church because they live with their dad every other weekend. We are only somewhat close to the 2 teenage daughters and the dad. We are not close to the younger kids at all, and I don't think they would be interested in coming to our wedding. My question is would it be considered rude not to invite the young children, just the teens? I'm clueless on this. *<strong>ETA: we are inviting other younger children, but only ones that are relatives or that we are close to.</strong>
Posted by fadingdawn20[/QUOTE]

This means you are inviting other children who aren't family. Since this is the case, you must invite the children in question.

You can't exlude the children of certain friends, and invite the children of others.

mysticl

Also, in your case if the wedding is Dad's weekend and you haven't invited all of the kids I'd bet on dad and none of the kids coming.  I doubt he would miss out on his weekend with his kids just for your wedding. 

tenofcups4me

I'm  not exactly following why you want to invite the older two to begin with since you said you're "somewhat close to" them, but maybe you mean that to be closer than I would take that expression. At any rate, I think it's fine -- when you have 8 kids (good god), you have to realize they're not all going to be invited everywhere. There's a pretty significant difference between the older kids, who are virtually grown-ups, and those younger ones.

noodle_oo

I think only inviting part of a family is rude.  Especially since you will have other younger kids there.  If you had a firm rule (no kids under 13) then I think you could get away with it, but since you don't, it just seems rude to pick and choose family members.  I'd just invite the parents.

marisah83

I imagine that if a parent has that many children, and only every other weekend, he is going to come with all of them or not come at all.  Invite the entire family. 

zitiqueen

I say just invite the older kids; it'll give the younger kids the opportunity to stay home to attempt to break the teeter-totter record.