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ok, I have a "wwyd" type of question.

my MOH, Heather, and I have been friends for almost 20 years. so she was a natural choice for MOH. when we were younger, she and I were very competitive, and she usually won, because I'm not kidding you, she was good at everything. but she hated it when I was the center of attention. she'd be a total biitch to me on my birthdays and all that, make jokes about what I got for gifts, etc. over the years, she grew out of that though.
over the years, when she'd come in town, the H and I would make a big stink out of her. we'd take her out to dinner, buy her drinks, etc. well, on the night of my bachelorette party, which she planned with another of my BMs, she was six hours late (we weren't even sure she was coming, we'd called and she never answered or called back). then when she shows up, she sat there and sulked the whole time. she rolled her eyes at me a lot. and she never bought me a single drink. I'm sorry, but that's kind of diick.
so this weekend is her bachelorette party, and I'm driving up to dallas to go. I was thinking of not drinking so I don't have to buy her a drink. I don't know. I want her to have a blast but I don't want to keep giving more than I get.
thoughts?
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Re: ok, I have a "wwyd" type of question.

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    I'm not entirely sure I'd even go.
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    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
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    are you her MOH?
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    Whoa, whoa, whoa. Your best friend's name is Heather? How confusing.
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    Honestly, you have to decide if you want to put up with her complaining on her wedding day about you not buying her a single drink on her bachelorette party. I'd buy her one to pacify her, then I'd write her off (after the wedding).

    I have a friend like that. Right now, the ball's in her court. I've washed my hands of the whole thing. If she wants to call, etc, she has my number.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ok-wwyd-type-of-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c07509e8-5287-4a4c-a514-80dff6f912a0Post:2925eef7-c545-4d1e-b7ce-867ce1b97389">Re: ok, I have a "wwyd" type of question.</a>:
    [QUOTE]are you her MOH?
    Posted by aimers1525[/QUOTE]

    nope, her sister is.
    mery, yeah it was confusing growing up, but really fun in a way. she was like my sister for a long time. we grew up across the street from each other.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ok-wwyd-type-of-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c07509e8-5287-4a4c-a514-80dff6f912a0Post:f34e9116-3eb1-4954-8285-aa9db0fdfd39">Re: ok, I have a "wwyd" type of question.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, you have to decide if you want to put up with her complaining on her wedding day about you not buying her a single drink on her bachelorette party. I'd buy her one to pacify her, then I'd write her off (after the wedding). I have a friend like that. Right now, the ball's in her court. I've washed my hands of the whole thing. If she wants to call, etc, she has my number.
    Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]
    yeah, that's what I was thinking.
    another fun fact--in the last year she's actually been copying everything I do, but then trying to do it better. especially with the wedding.
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    i know exactly what you're talking about because it seems like you still feel hurt about how she behaved at your bachelorette; i would, too. it sounds like she was being a total bitch. BUT i do think that you will come out of it looking like a better person and a better friend if you go and have a great time and buy her a drink to celebrate with her. hopefully she will feel bad for being such a shitmuncher when you show up all classy, but even if she doesn't, $8 to know you acted like an adult and were a good friend is worth it, IMHO.
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    well immabitch.  i would buy her one drink.  and be done with it :)

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    People like that don't generally change and it seems to me you would still end up the bad guy in that situation.  If she craves attention from everyone including her bestfriend, and gets jealous at anyone else in the spotlight, I would just go and have a blast.  I wouldn't do it to be mean to her, it would just be the only way I could handle her.  Tell her hi, celebrate her party you know, but go to have fun for yourself. 
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    Dallas is a long-ass drive from you. I'd probably base it on how much money I had left when I got there.
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    good point.
    although, lc, most of my friends are with you. they think I should get sick this weekend. my other BMs all hated her for how she acted.
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    Buy her a weak drink and call her a cvnt. See her one-up that shiit.
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    I personally would go and buy her a drink, but after this not go out of my way to be generous to her when she visits, etc.   I understand that you're hurt (and rightfully so) about the way she treated you during your bachelorette party, but I don't think this is the time to pull out the "well she did this to me so I'll do it back" card.  If her behavior had truly bothered you that much over the years, you probably would've ended the friendship by now.  I say be the bigger person here.
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    edited August 2010

    I'd do one of two things (I'm not considering etiquette so take these FWIW):

    1. Make up an excuse and not go

    2. Go and buy her one drink and then stand at the bar all night taking shots with the other BMs that she's probably also alienated

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ok-wwyd-type-of-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c07509e8-5287-4a4c-a514-80dff6f912a0Post:4b7f25fd-f0ad-417f-8862-e4e48904721c">Re: ok, I have a "wwyd" type of question.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Buy her a weak drink and call her a cvnt. See her one-up that shiit.
    Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]
    I love you.

    thanks guys :)
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    See if you could take Erica the bartender with you (maybe on the roof of your car) to make her a special drink.

    I wouldn't go. That's a long ass haul for someone you're "meh" about.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ok-wwyd-type-of-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c07509e8-5287-4a4c-a514-80dff6f912a0Post:6fc72fef-5bca-46a9-8931-4261292028bf">Re: ok, I have a "wwyd" type of question.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'd do one of two things (I'm probably a bad person so take these FWIW): 1. Make up an excuse and not go 2. Go and buy her one drink and then stand at the bar all night taking shots with the other BMs that she's probably also alienated
    Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]
    funny thing--she has 2 friends. we're both in her wedding. the other four bridesmaids are her sisters. and I bet they'll be pressuring me to buy her drinks too.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ok-wwyd-type-of-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c07509e8-5287-4a4c-a514-80dff6f912a0Post:92f65502-dcb4-49c3-b020-5f1f53bb520b">Re: ok, I have a "wwyd" type of question.</a>:
    [QUOTE]See if you could take Erica the bartender with you (maybe on the roof of your car) to make her a special drink. I wouldn't go. That's a long ass haul for someone you're "meh" about.
    Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]
    I love the image of erica being strapped to the roof of a car :)
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    Buy her a really disgusting shot... karma's a bitch

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    aimers1525aimers1525 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited August 2010
    conviniently "loose" your wallet or your car broke down
    YIKES, EDIT: lose
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    Eh, I'd go and try to put this aside for now and actually enjoy myself.  And I'd hold onto that attitude through the wedding.  And I'd forget that while she's on her HM.  After that - it's on her to step up.

    No explanation ever for her tardiness or sulkiness at your b-party?  Or did I miss that above?
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    squirrely, she just said "sorry, I got held up."
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    and I was thinking, "...at gunpoint?" but I just said, "oh, that's ok!"
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ok-wwyd-type-of-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c07509e8-5287-4a4c-a514-80dff6f912a0Post:33f42185-9d22-48de-bb6b-6eee83b18b0a">Re: ok, I have a "wwyd" type of question.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Buy her a really disgusting shot... karma's a bitch
    Posted by breezerb[/QUOTE]

    Change my mind, I like this idea better.  And then conveniently lose your cash so she has to pay for it.
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    I could be by myself in this, but she doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. How did she act during your wedding? The same as she does for your birthdays and did for your bachelorrette?
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    she was 6 hours late ?

    Wow, she sucks.

    I would buy her a drink/shot, just one because she is getting married and even though she rained/peed on your parade, you shouldn't do it right back to her


    You should be able to talk to her, she's your MOH, been friends 20 yrs, simply ask her why she acted that way at your b-party, maybe there's a 'good' reason why...

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ok-wwyd-type-of-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c07509e8-5287-4a4c-a514-80dff6f912a0Post:ea4f53cd-3e95-4e4f-a72b-ef9ce58acf41">Re: ok, I have a "wwyd" type of question.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I could be by myself in this, but she doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. How did she act during your wedding? The same as she does for your birthdays and did for your bachelorrette?
    Posted by Jill9288[/QUOTE]
    at the wedding she wasn't that great either. I only asked her to do one thing, which was to move my suitcase (on wheels) from the room I stayed in the night before the wedding (and got ready in) to the honeymoon room. she gave a big sigh and a look that said "Really?" she did it, but I waited in the other room for 30 minutes before she got around to it.
    my reception dress was in the suitcase so that's why I needed it then. and I only asked her because she'd told me earlier that she'd do it.
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    oh, and when my veil got messed up at the altar, she didn't fix it. 2 of my other bm's did. I didn't even notice, but I was told that later. and there was a picture of it.
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    Yeah. . . she sucks.  But, I think you accepted the suck-i-tude when you said you'd be a BM.  Once all the wedding hoopla is over, though, NBD to back away from that friendship.

    I just think if you're difficult at the b-party, she'll be bitchy at the wedding, or at a shower, or both, or extra. 

    If you don't attend, I'm thinking a good excuse is gonna be required.  Else, see note above about bitchyness at the wedding. 
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    And I didn't add the last part of my answer: I would probably go, buy her one drink, and be done with it. I would go to the wedding, do what you have to do there, and then leave the rest up to her. If she contacts you again, awesome, if not, was she really a friend worth having? I
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