Do we have to have a reception

CaseyLFol

I have a dilema, please help. My fiance and I want a small wedding, and well we would do a destination wedding but we we are needing to get married in the Catholic church. So that means we need to have a local Catholic church wedding, BUT do not have enough money to have a reception to envite all of our family and friends. Is it ok to have a family only church wedding but no reception?

Simply Fated

How about inviting only your close family to the church and then taking them out to dinner afterwards? it doesn't have to be a pricey place... heck, take them to a diner or a coffee shop lol.

opalsky007

A reception is a gift to your guests to thank them for coming. Even if it's only punch and cake, you need to host something. 

PharmacyBride

I agree that you should host something for your guests.  It doesn't have to fit the typical definition of a wedding reception.. but just has to be something.

Your guests are giving up their time to come and see you get married.  It is polite to offer them something to eat.

CaseyLFol

Well, we both come from big families. Our list of just immediate family came to about 40 people, and that was narrowing it down. Thanks for the advice though.

akhensley81

Why not have a backyard BBQ after the ceremony for just the close family & friends who came to watch you get married?

Like PPs said, the reception traditionally is a "thank you" for your guests for coming. Even if it's small and simple, you should try to plan something.

mandysmear

Everyone who watches you get married has to be fed. 

Do it during non meal time hours and just have cake and punch. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0960ba9-536f-42f7-8af4-52eb4dfffbc4Post:b708ea91-b1b6-43b7-addf-fac3a8e9d18c">Re: Do we have to have a reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, we both come from big families. Our list of just immediate family came to about 40 people, and that was narrowing it down. Thanks for the advice though.
Posted by CaseyLFol[/QUOTE]

I highly double you each have 18 siblings.

Invite your parents, siblings and grandparents. And HOST them. Or invite 40 people. And HOST them. Not doing anything is rude. Have them to your house for dinner after. Take them out to Olive Garden. Set up cake and deli trays at your church.

Ghoti

You could have it in between meal times and serve cake and punch, but you do have to serve something.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0960ba9-536f-42f7-8af4-52eb4dfffbc4Post:03404149-3e65-449d-8daa-1e74e6663845">Re: Do we have to have a reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do we have to have a reception : I highly double you each have 18 siblings.Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

It's possible; they ARE Catholic after all.

OP, like everyone said, host something, even if it is only punch and cake at a non-meal time.

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0960ba9-536f-42f7-8af4-52eb4dfffbc4Post:011b6018-462d-4a72-8e66-cd5a0c422e57">Re: Do we have to have a reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do we have to have a reception : <strong> It's possible; they ARE Catholic after all. </strong>OP, like everyone said, host something, even if it is only punch and cake at a non-meal time.
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]

CQTM.

[Deleted User]

wait, you're having people travel to a destination wedding and you don't want to even feed them? wtf

lizzylily16

I agree that you should host something with food.  If you want something a little nicer than just cake and punch you could take them all out to dinner someplace nice but not too expensive.  My brother just got married and they also had money issues and they decided to rent a private room at an MCL and have a brunch buffet...this was nicer than cake and punch, but cheaper than dinner!

tenofcups4me

It's fine to invite just your family to the church for the wedding, but you should host something afterwards. It can be as simple as going back to your place for coffee and cake or as elaborate as a full-blown wedding reception.

And FWIW, you could still have a Catholic church wedding in some other destination than your own town if you want a destination wedding. There are Catholic churches all over the world! :-)

mica178

Most churches have some sort of parish hall that you can rent for very little money (I think mine was $200 for 6 hours, and they provided chairs and tables).  You could bring your own wine, soda, finger foods and cake.  It wouldn't be fancy, but if you're only inviting your 40 closest friends and family, they probably know that you don't have a ton of money for a fancy party.

It'd be pretty rude to ask people to attend your wedding and not provide a little thank you cake afterwards, especially if people need to travel and/or pay a babysitter to watch the kids while they attend your ceremony.  

squirrly

Have an afternoon ceremony starting at 2:30 or so, and have cake and punch in the church hall afterwards.  A basic sheet cake from the grocery plus punch ingredients (a gallon of sherbert, some pineapple juice, and sprite) to feed 50 people should run you less than $50.  You can add a veggie and dip tray, a fruit tray, and some mixed nuts and mints, and still be under $100.  And, that would constitute a suitable reception.  That's really all you need to do - just SOMETHING to meet and greet, a quick snack, and a chance for them to say congrats and you to say thanks for attending.